winding myself up

[lilly-lou]

Why is it that every time I arrange to go out somewhere I spend the whole day before I go winding myself up about it. I'm going swimming again today with the kids, I went last week and was fine, in fact enjoyed it but today my stomach is churning, I've got chest pains and my I.B.S. is playing up, I am so sick of this anxiety now I just don't know how much more longer I can cope with it, I seem to be diong ok one moment and the next be rock bottom but I have never felt this anxious in ages, anybody got any suggestions as I am not going to let these feelings win and beat me into the ground like they have before but I feel really poop with the symptoms.

lilly-lou

[purple to black]

Oh lilly if its any consolation im doing the exact same thing to myself, but its about starting Citalopram rather than going out (although i dont like that either).
Im all over the place today, cant concentrate, cant focus, hyperventilating, fidgeting...all this over a wee pill, rather ridiculous.
I hope you feel better and enjoy your afternoon out with the kids.

[lilly-lou]

Hi Debbie,

If it makes you feel any better I get like that over taking a paracetamol and I am so scared of meds I am trying to cope without them but my sis is on Citalipram and she says that they have helped her get her life back.

let me know how they go

lilly-lou

[Anxious_gal]

anticipation! i've noticed that the days i do well with going to town are the days i haven't planed on going!
i went to the doctors, then i decided to go to the bank n so on........
i'm not sure how to get rid of the anticipation, i try not to think ahead, like i'll about it at the last minute.
how about don't plan anything, lets say one day you feel ok, you could just decide to take a walk n see how that goes, or if your feeling ok, try to go somewhere without too much planning?

[purple to black]

Hi Lilly,
Im not coping too well without meds, know its the right thing to do but cant seem to bring myself to put it in my mouth knowing all the side effects. Husband is losing patience very quickly and im just miserable all the damn time feeling like i do, might take it before bed and see if i can sleep while it does it thing.

I wish i was as brave as you in trying to beat it without pills, let me know how you get on later today.

[thoughts and actions]

hi lilly

can totally sympthasie a million trillion percent- i have ibs/ nervous stomach- i can be fine then my friend phones and says "coming to the cinema" and first thing my stomach flips- then i need the toilet- about 20 times haha

If u want n e advise i can tell u what i do?

1. If your windy/stomach pain then breath in and out (and when you exhale imagine a candle infront of u and u dont want to blow it out) This will unspasm the stomach- if u have an urge to go to the toilet wait for 10 mins- if its still there go if not dont and dont force it.
2. You said u went swimming last week and where fine- subconsciosly or consciously you will have said to yourself in the last week "next week when i go i hope i am fine again" or u expect to be fine, you put extra pressure/stress on yourself coz u feel like it should mirror last week- this then causes additioanl anxiety.

I know its hard but we gotta try and live in the moment- i dont know whats going happen at 4 oclock to me today- btu what happened at 4 oclock last wed has no impact on it today- i can still do all the things i could before it- and we can never get the past back.

Take deep breathes, think about the swimming and how fun it will be- the kids will enjoy it and it will help your stomach (as swimming is best effective excercise for ibs sufferes) if u want any further advise pm me

will be thinking of u- i am stuck in work until 17.30 - could be worse hehe

xx

[Anxious_gal]

purple, maybe you could try taking your meds when your ready to fall asleep? so you won't be awake to worry about side effects, also try to just swallow the tablet without thinking! if you do get side effects they will only last a few hours at the most x

[purple to black]

thanks mishel but im thinking the minute i take it im gonna be wide awake lol
i have a phobia of tablets at the best of times, wont even take a headache pill so this is a huge step for me *sighs*

Have you took them yourself mishel? Just wondered what your experience of them is if you have.

[chicken licken]

hey Im with you, Im doing similar today too

yesterday I had a great day gutting my boys room had the plan to carry on today go to the tip etc....but no Ive decided to flap and pace and when I tried to work through it to hopefully take my mind off it Its now turned into being distracted by obsessive thoughts....silly ones ....like the water tanks faulty , string at the celing incase the ceilings leaking..switching off switches etc....(I know how silly I sound ... Im cringeing at me) and to top that off , I try to carry on sorting kids rooms out so now Ive also icked in with the feeling nauseious and real bad head ache , Im hot hot hot ....... oh...! and ear ache too .......like Im fighting my self, with myself.....
why cant I give me a break ... why do I have to spoil my own plans?? Its hardly logical to ruin your own fun but yet Im doing it again !!!! self tourture! ARGGGHHH!!


but your not alone I hope you manage to still go swimming and enjoy it too.
.

Its hard work isnt it !

[lilly-lou]

Thanks for the replies,

It seems to me that quite a few of us are our own worst enemy, I know I am, I don't know why I do this to myself everytime I plan something. I try to do most things spur of the moment so I haven't got time to wind myself up but swimming for me and my kids is like a well planned millitary operation, there will be me, my six kids, my niece and her little girl so I really can't leave it till last minute to decide to go but I am so determined to get through it without being in tears and besides how can I let that many people down I just wish that 'what if' will stop dominating my thoughts.

Debbie I am like you I am so phobic of taking meds which is why I don't have them I wish I could take them and wasn't so scared to so I think that you are really brave to take them even though you are so afraid of them, let me know how you get on with them.

lilly-lou

[leeg]

i hope u get on ok today i am so like you phobic about so many things i do my own head in i never mind everybody elses:wacko: i also have six kids an like u say its a military op just getting them all out door an its so hard when u spend ur full time thinking what if what if thats providing we can getb out ther toilet i take colofac for ibs an tell myself within ten mins this will be gone it usually does ive started to accept the panic an tell myself this is not real im going to accept it an it will go away an it usually does well i hope u get on ok u know u will feel so much better if u do :hugs:

[lilly-lou]

Well I managed swimming and wasn't at all anxious when I got there and then I went ice skating as well so I've had a busy evening. I don't usually leave my hubby with the two youngest but today he has had a taste of his own medicine, he had to do his own tea and as soon as I walked in from swimming I handed over the two little ones and I got myself ready and took the older four to the ice rink, usually it is me a billy no mates sitting in the house by myself but tonight he has had a taste of what it feels like and me and the kids enjoyed themselves. My eldest daughter was so proud of me for going and couldn't believe that I actually took them by myself without hubby coming too, I will pay for it tomorrow when I'm tired but I dont care because I am on such a high

Lilly-lou

[leeg]

well done lilly-lou keep that high with you and remember you did it xxxx

[lilly-lou]

After having a really bad week of winding myself up and getting very anxious about going out I have managed to do quite a few things. I went to the zoo and stayed there for 5 1/2hrs, I was so chuffed, I had one wobble during the day and instead of doing my usual, bolting for the nearest exit I stayed and didn't pay too much attention to the rush of anxiety I got, I kept telling myself nothing was going to happen to me and it passed pretty fast.

I also went to my nieces house warming party, I didn't stay long as I had all the kids with me but I went without hubby and drove at night which I don't like to do but again I managed it, it takes about 20 mins to get to hers so this was a big thing, all in all a pretty good weekend, I am so happy today, yay.

Lilly-lou

[purple to black]

Well done Lilly, thats just awesome, im hoping to reach that point one day.

Was unable to take the pills (bah) just got too worked up and now im sitting 5 days later thinking i could have been over the worst by now, such is life or my life anyway.
On a better note, i have my first CBT appt on the 29th so looking forward to that, just hope im not pinning all my hopes on its as some miracle cure...gotta try though.
Going to watch my son play ice hockey today so wish me luck with that. Ill need it.

[lilly-lou]

Hi Debbie,

Try not to worry too much about not being able to take the meds, maybe this is something you can discuss when you have CBT, I really can relate to being too scared to take them thats why I am going it alone.

When I was at my worst with agoraphobia I couldn't even make it to my garden gate and was house-bound for 2yrs but now I am doing so much better, it has not been a walk in the park and has taken a while to get where I am now but you can do it just try and focus on the things you can achieve and try not to pay too much attention to the things that you can't, the more you practice the easier it will become. Have you read any of the Claire Weekes books? I have found them to be so much help for me.

Let me know how you get on at the hockey match.

hugs

lilly-lou