Conflicts within

[jcapson]

All I want to do is run away from everyone I love and curl up with everyone I love all at the same time. So I do nothing.

Other than my HB still not having income, he had a vasectomy on Monday. It went well but of course he's sore and doesn't want to do anything. He's looking after the kids during the day without moving too much from the couch. When I head home (2hr commute) I start thinking about all the things I'm going to have to do when I get home. I know it won't last but I still feel overwhelmed with everything.

- I know that if the dishwasher doesn't go on and there are no clean plates the kids won't suffer because if it.

- I know that if we have KD and hot dogs or chicken nuggets again for dinner, it's not the end of the world...at least the kids are eating something and it's not junk food.

- I know if the laundry doesn't get folded and put away it's no biggy as atleast the laundry is done.

But it's the logic and thinking conflicting inside that is the problem.

I guess all I have to do is stop thinking.

[kendo59]

Your HB has had 2 enormously difficult things happen.

Speaking for myself, having somewhat 'traditional' values of being the wage-earner, breadwinner, supporting the family, etc....being out of work has affected me deeply. It has made me feel useless, a failure, redundant, etc.

And although I've not had 'the snip', I have a couple of mates who have, and although the operation itself is a relatively simple one, the emotional/psychological effects can be significant. Compare it with a woman having a hysterectomy. All the emotional issues of not being able to have more kids, of not being a 'real man', etc. (I'm not saying it necessarily is the case, but it might be - in which case perhaps your HB could see his GP and ask for some counselling).

Having those 2 things happening together, may lead your HB to be feeling his very manhood is in question, and make him very fragile and depressed, and in need of extra support & reassurance from you at this time, and he may even find some counselling useful.

On the other hand, I could just be talking a load of codswallop.

[Alisonj]

Everything you said it so true. If the kids have KD big deal, if the laundry doesnt get done its ok. If you come home and are tired you need to take care of you as well as the kids. It is too hard to be everything at once!
Your hubby should be ok in a few days at the most. When Steve had his he was ok in 2 days tops. Dont get overwhelmed, its ok. Just take things all in good stride.