Lila
18-09-08, 21:43
Howdy folks,
Not been on for a while, husband is away on an extended trip so between work and looking after my wee girl and the house I haven't had a minute.
I have found over the last few weeks that any anxiety I feel turns into me beating myself up over not being a good mother. I feel like I don't do enough for her, engage her enough (though she is fairly vocal about what she wants, always, so it's not like I am ignoring her, fat chance haha!) that she watches too much TV, that I don't cook well enough and just basically that I am a rotten mother.
She is a wonderful kid, very very intelligent, she could sell sand to Arabs with her charm, very caring and sweet but I feel like I had nothing to do with that and all I see are the tantrums and what I have done wrong.
I have myself exhausted thinking about this, not sleeping too well (partly cause we have been on our own for a month now and I worry I won't wake if someone breaks in...I know stupid, but still) have a chest infection cause I think I am run down and I got bitten by a bloody spider and had to go to the Dr cause it's a bad bite from one of these American spiders that are poisionous but not deadly.....great!
So all in all I am a mess. Any advice or a slap up side the head to tell me to snap out of it would be appreciated!
Sorry for the long rant but I am honestly at my wits end and I need a break and I needed to tell someone....lucky you guys ;)
Cheers me dears
Lila
Not been on for a while, husband is away on an extended trip so between work and looking after my wee girl and the house I haven't had a minute.
I have found over the last few weeks that any anxiety I feel turns into me beating myself up over not being a good mother. I feel like I don't do enough for her, engage her enough (though she is fairly vocal about what she wants, always, so it's not like I am ignoring her, fat chance haha!) that she watches too much TV, that I don't cook well enough and just basically that I am a rotten mother.
She is a wonderful kid, very very intelligent, she could sell sand to Arabs with her charm, very caring and sweet but I feel like I had nothing to do with that and all I see are the tantrums and what I have done wrong.
I have myself exhausted thinking about this, not sleeping too well (partly cause we have been on our own for a month now and I worry I won't wake if someone breaks in...I know stupid, but still) have a chest infection cause I think I am run down and I got bitten by a bloody spider and had to go to the Dr cause it's a bad bite from one of these American spiders that are poisionous but not deadly.....great!
So all in all I am a mess. Any advice or a slap up side the head to tell me to snap out of it would be appreciated!
Sorry for the long rant but I am honestly at my wits end and I need a break and I needed to tell someone....lucky you guys ;)
Cheers me dears
Lila