Confused.com

[Cathy V]

I dont have any problems with the chat room, i dont go in myself coz it overwhelms me a bit but i do click on from time to time to see how many members are there, and im always surprised to see members that i havent seen on the forum for absolutely ages, chatting in there. Is it that ppl get fed up eventually with answering posts? Why dont we see you anymore?

Im not getting at anyone, im just curious. Ive heard that chat can really help ppl with their probs and thats great, but what about the forum...dont the ppl on there need help too, the newbies every day that need welcoming?

And does anyone in chat tonight realise that nicola has had to go into hospital possibly for surgery? did any of you read lisa's message about it, because i havent yet seen any of your names on the post wishing her well...?

Quite some time ago now, i was told off for being sarcastic when one of the members posted a birthday message for another member who id never heard of, only because he was only ever in the chat room and never on the forum. On that day i kind of said why should we send him best wishes when he doesnt contribute anything to the forum, nobody knew him...except for the ppl in the chat room.

I find it all very baffling sometimes sorry.

[Cathy V]

...pooh excluded by the way xxx :)

[The Fool]

i guess some people find that the chat room is a bit for personal so eaiser for help.i dont no there reasons but im sure they have them.people like to give and get help in differnt ways.just depends what they are more comfortable with.

charli xx

[Cathy V]

Hi charli, yes i can see what you mean, that chat can be just another way to help ppl. I know you're on the forum too coz i see you there, but some of the ppl i saw in chat tonight, i thought had left to be honest coz i havent seen them for ages...xxx

[Anxious_gal]

i think to be ale to use the chat you, you should post at least once a week answering someone else's post.
i think its a bit selfish,

[Coni]

Im probably one of those people....i dont post very often because very often I dont think I have anything of value to say....sometimes I pop into chat and dont say very much either....I think its down to how you are at any given time....I also have 3 children and work full time so my time on the computer is limited and sometimes I log in then have to log out again after a very short time.....If this happens a couple of times I find it difficult to spend time reading through all the threads I have missed....its never meant to come across as selfish though I can see how it might....I just think everyone is different especially when it comes to having the confidence to post or reply to a thread, and everyones circumstances are different....however apologies to anyone if I seem to not care or seem selfish, that was never my intention.

Coni XXX

[pooh]

Hi Cathy ( and thanks for the exclusion lol)

Im going to be the devil's advocate here....when was the last time loadsa people referred to the site menu on the left? Some people on the forum never use chat some people who go into chat very rarely post on the forum. I think people have to have the choice of how they use the support elements of the site. There is also a lot of support that goes on in pm and msn directly linked to having made contact on NMP.
Cathy I like you, you are a straight talker no holds barred, but in fairness Nic and how ill she was was top of the agenda in there last night.

You're opinionated and fiesty.... don't change

love Pooh xxxx

[Cathy V]

Opinionated and fiesty? blimey! But know im not the only one who voices their opinions sometimes on the forum and it was just that...an opinion. Well it was actually more of a question really and im sure i'll be put straight about it by the end of the day :D xxxx

[eeyorelover]

Believe it or not when I first joined I was in chat everyday and almost never posted.
Partly because I wasn't at a place that I felt comfortable enough to speak to people about anxiety and the like and partly because I was so overwhelmed by it that I didn't know where to begin.
The site is so big and reading thru all the threads and posting is a daunting task sometimes.
The more personal setting of chat is appealing to some and that is ok.
Whatever promotes recovery I am all for!!
xxx
Sandy

[Cathy V]

Hi sandy. Well you seem to have done it the opposite way around then! Apart from that one incident about the birthday wishes for someone i didnt even know was a member, im really talking about the people who i used to see regularly on the forum, who i havent seem for so long that i thought theyd left, and then i see them regularly in chat.

My question was, does there come a point were ppl get fed up answering posts and helping ppl that way? And i did say i dont have a problem with the chatroom and that i realise its also a good way of getting help, but it cant always be about getting help only for yourself surely?

I also realise there are alot of threads and posts and im not stupid, i know we cant read and answer all of them...most people try just to help those with similar problems to themselves, or they send a hug. How long does it take to say welcome to a few new members? But thanks for your opinion, like i said...we all have one!

Best wishes
Cathy xxx :D

[pooh]

I cant' believe I didn't answer you question cathy lol lol er in my humble opinion ( lmao) I have absolutely no idea lol why people do what they do I guess they just do. Hey you've just given me an idea ( have you noticed i get lots of them lololol) why not have a weekly question time in chat do you think we could get david dimblbey ( how the hell do you spell that?) to host?

LOL signing out cause im talking mince hehe

Pooh xxxxxxx

[Cathy V]

Pooh worra ye like! but somewhere in that 'mince' was probably definately a good idea :) xxx

[jill]

Hi Cathy :D:hugs:

Hehe, this is a question I asked myself along time ago, BUT hunny, unless you ask, each person, one by one, I feel, THAT is the only way you will get your answer.

There are many, many, many, different reason why they do this and I don't think that ANYONE means any harm by what they do. My way of thinking is, as long as this great site gives them the support they need, thats ok.

Its like if you look at my profile, you will not get the full story on me, I never posted much about myself, now there ARE anxiety reasons for this, will not go into that, don't want to bore you, but I went through a phase of just saying hello, no replies on other threads, just hello, but at the time I found my mind playing with me and if I missed anyone out, I felt quilty, so I changed it to, replying to threads I could link into and understood.

I am, panic, anxiety free, because of this great site, but still have confidance issues, ohh boy, working on this all the time,I am moving forward, so I reply, where I can. I feel I owe this great site alot. Even doing this can have my mind playing with me, if I don't get a reply, hehe, my noggin may go into overdrive. I know DAME well its NOTHING to do with the people, ITS ME and my negative thinking.

So hunny, if you want you answers you CAN get them, but by asking each and every person, but I bet, there IS good enough reasons why they do this.

This great site has tought me well, I could even come up with a few myself eg,

They feel they can't help at all and feel quilty in just saying hello, they feel its not enough.

They feel, reading through the site, even the hellos and hugs, trigger there anx more.

They are happy, in the chat and basicly, don't want to be a part of the forums, mmm, its there choice. ohhh and many, many more.

Its like life in genral, you get people who are happy to help and people who feel they can't OR just don't want to get invloved, it happens.

I do know what helps us feel good about ourselves and helps us move forward a little, IT IS, knowing that if we try and understand others (ohh one of BILLS threads pop to mind, the one about love,) there issus, there illness, read about there problems and try and help, Knowing, that this illnes effects us all differently, it helps us understand our own anxiety a little more. I feel, that me looking into how panic, anxiety and how it effects others, ohh boy, this helped me move on a little. It is such a complexed thing, blimey, its blinkin hard to understand.

Cathy, Your a kind and caring person, YOU want to help, as I said, trying to understand others and why they do things, IS DAME hard. I would just put this to one side and say to myself, (blow my own trumpet hehe) "I help where I can, I choose to help, if other people choose not to, well, thats ok too"

I am soo proud to be a memeber of this great site, even threads like these are ways of trying to understand how are minds work or how other peoples minds work AND the MAIN thing we NEED to try and learn, is how our minds work, ohhh thats blinkin hard.

Ohh thats my woffle done LOL mmm, my confidance is playing with me now, its saying DON'T POST, hehe, but I will anyway. I would NOT knowing say anything to hurt anyone.

YOU TAKE CARE :hugs:KEEP posting, keep having your say, Mmm. hope someone can pop along and give you the answers you are looking for.

Wishing you well

LOVE JILLXX

[Cathy V]

Hi Jill, thanks for your reply and yes it does go a long way to explaining it all...the human mind eh?

I guess when we look back on some of our posts, its really only putting thoughts into words, thinking out loud, and sometimes its best to keep the thoughts in our heads. Because its not the end of the world is it, its not that serious an issue in the bigger picture, so hey...my question has been answered and time to move on.

Thanks to all who responded and didnt take offence, appreciated :noangel:
Luv Cathy xxxx

[Jaco45er]

The things some people worry about ;)

[Cathy V]

:noangel: luv ya jacko xxx