PDA

View Full Version : Seperation Anxiety from girlfriend.



Malton Seadog
21-09-08, 19:50
As you may have read in another post, this is the only real anxiety I have problems with at the moment.

I am a student at the University of Huddersfield, and I'm commuting from home where I live with my mum.

My girlfriend, who I've been happily with for 2 years, lives 60 miles away in Doncaster where she has just qualified from Huddersfield as a teacher.

She hasn't got work, so has to be at home a) because we can't afford a house together and b) she has signed up to a supply agency so she has to be at home to take calls from them on a morning.

Because of this, I get to see her perhaps 3 days in 10. This is very difficult for me seeing as I saw her every day for almost a year during the academic year!

Now - the thing that concerns me most is the thoughts I have. I am seeing a mental health specialist every week who says that the thoughts are natural and I should let them happen but ignore them. They are so irrational it's unreal. This girl means everything to me, yet my anxious mind is telling me that we might as well not be together if we can't see each other every day. I'm actually grinning now because it's so absurd!

The very interesting and reassuring thing is that my other symptoms are getting rarer by the week, but the seperation is what is causing me problems.

The other reassuring thing is that when I spent 3 days with her recently, I was fine. I had perhaps 40 minutes in 60+ hours with her where I felt anxious, and that was because I was tired. I gave her a big hug and it made me feel so much better.

After all that - there is one simple question which I hope has a simple answer.

Is this seperation anxiety down to one simple question - Do I miss her so much that I can't bear to be without her?

marie1974
21-09-08, 20:02
awwww bless u, i reckon u just love her so much and want to be with her all the time and also when u not with her u worry about her too etc etc. this is normal hun, i been my my hubby for 16 yrs and we have 3 kids and if he has to go away for work etc i feel awful when he goes i miss him and worry about him etc.

i think the thoughts you have about might as well not be with her etc are just your barriers and your protection cos u know inside u love her so much that sometimes u cant bare it and dont want to be hurt.

just enjoy the time u both get together and in time u both will move forward in life and in your relationship and im sure will be together more permanantly.

dont worry to much matey just enjoy xxx

Malton Seadog
21-09-08, 20:07
Thanks!

One more thing - I also get really nervous just before I see her, like it's the first date or something. Is that usual too?

I'm also anxious about the future when we move in together. Perhaps my anxious mind is trying to reassure me that I love her, and it's telling me to treat her well.

This anxiety eh? Makes you think more than you should about things!

marie1974
21-09-08, 20:26
thats really nice that u still get nervous and u r right it is kinda like that new relationship excitement/nerves kinda thing, thats a nice thing that u still get that so dont worry it just means u really love her. try not to worry about the future just worry about now and enjoy wot u have even if it is only few days her and there, they are special for u both, when the time is right things will progress naturally and u will be fine hunny.

Malton Seadog
21-09-08, 20:40
Aye I know.

We were both expecting her to get a job this September in a school and that we'd be both moved in by now, so perhaps the sudden setback has affected us both.

I love her, and she loves me - and that's that! :D