Seeing my GP later today

[Lissy43]

I saw my GP 3 weeks ago and he prescribed an anti d (dothiepin) after I practicaly begged him to help me as I felt sooooo anxious and low. He did a depression test which I scored low and anxiety test which was very high. He was reluctant to prescibe me them but agreed to try them if I wanted to. I missed the chemist that evening so picked them up the following day and was due to start them that night.

I had CBT, my first session was the day I picked the anti d's up and the therapist asked me to not take them for 3 weeks to see if the CBT could avoid me needing them so I agreed to. My GP wanted to see me in 3 weeks time so today I am going back to him, I hope he isn't angry with me for not taking them but I wanted to do the CBT properly and give it 3 weeks.

It has been 3 weeks, id say the CBT is really helping BUT last week I had my CT scan results and was told that I had chronic sinusitis, I have congestion in my sinuses and I get discomfort daily. The ENT surgeon told me he could operate but he knew plenty of people who live with this conidtion so not to worry. In the last week I have gone down hill alot, I have been so anxious, cried alot and just generally felt in pain and fed up. I am still worried about possible complications of chronic sinusitis (brain absesses and meningitis) so thats what is worrying me the most.

I have lost alot of weight recently, I am now 6 stone 4lbs. I felt black on standing, my eyes are always so tired and blurry esp in the mornings, I have awful sciatica in my right leg all the time, I have sinus pain and I am just absolutly exhausted and run down. I have been eating but not aswell as I should be, I do have problems with my diet at times and with fluids. I have 3 children and I really do forget about myself. I usually have 5-6 hrs sleep a night but last night I slept 11pm-5am and then 5.30-7.20am and I feel awful, really tired and really sickly probably from broken sleep but ive had more sleep than usual and i feel worse for it.

I am so frustrated, I don't know if to have the sinus op or see what the allergy tests show, I am asking for a referal for testing today as the ENT suspect thats my problem. I also though feel so tired, black on standing (i fainted 3mths ago in work due to low bp) tbh I am finding everything hard right now. I am scared to take meds aswell which doesn't help but I will take them if need be but I hate trying new meds after a reaction I had to an anti d a few years ago. I also haven't been on meds for 2 1/2 yrs and I hated being on them.

I just feel awful, I am tempted to ask for a full blood count to see how my iron is and get my BP checked again of course. If I had an infection in my sinuses I expect my white cell count would be raised, is that right? my head just feels awful right now. I feel so weak.

Having such a rough time, I cry alot at the moment and I struggle during the daytime, I have to hide my anxiety from my kids as I don't want to pass it on, its so hard feeling like this.

Sorry just had to get all of this off my chest.

[jannnne]

Oh Libby, I feel awful now for burdening you with my problems, see my reply on glands... Poor you, you sound like you are having an equally bad time of it. I am sorry. I would def get you bloods tested for Iron, that is one of the tests I am waiting for. I know how you feel about taking meds it is a difficult one. I have diazepam but I only take them when I really feel I cant cope and only for a couple of days. I find they give me a bit of breathing space to get things back in perspective. I have been sleeping more recently too. I wonder if it is all the energy we use up in being anxious?? I have had CBT too and I find it does help sometimes but not always. The trouble with Heath Anxiety is that you always think that this time it could be real... I struggle too to manage without the rest of the family realising how frantic I feel. Your sinus disease must be a pain, I have only ever had sinisitus after a cold and its agony. I really feel for you. Go see your GP have some tests done if your iron levels are low then you will feel tearful and down. I dont know what to suggest about meds, its really hard. Hope you are feeling better soon sending you a very big hugxxx

[pinkpiglet]

Hi Libby, it's not surprising that you are feeling like you are, not only do you suffer anxiety but you have also got this sinusitis worry and 3 kids to look after. The tiredness you describe is pretty normal with anxiety, i for one can feel tired after a relatively good nights sleep and a day time nap. Anxiety can make us feel pretty crappy and run down. if i were you I would ask to speak to the consultant again about the risks of the sinusitis issue and the benefits of the operation as you still do not sound as if you know what is right for you (and you should! It should be your decision).
I don't think your GP will be annoyed that you havent taken this medication and will probably be happy that the CBT is having a positive affect. Just explain that you felt it was the right choice for YOU! Your life isnt all bad is it? You are getting something out of the CBT, you are able to make your own decisions and you are in control of your own life. On top of all that you are obviously a fantastic mother.

[Lissy43]

Thanks,

I feel all this anxiety comes from my sinuses, if I wasn't in pain daily im sure id feel alot happier and more + about life. I know its not a bad thing to suffer but unless someones has the pain I have daily they can't understand just how deliberating it can be. I know people live with far worse such as cancer, brain tumours, chronic asthma..... I totally understand that but for me this isn't nice to live with but I am scared about the op.

I find life a struggle if I am honest and i am thinking maybe meds are the only way forward but will they really take the anxiety away? I always feel on edge.

I did have lwo ferritin levels since the birth of my 3rd child, earlier this year the bloods showed it was at an ok level but still on the low side of normal but the GP told me to stop the iron so I did but now i feel like I am crawling around the house I am so exhausted so I think I might as the GP to do a blood test, I feel truely awful.

Its ok, I hope I can reassure you, its nice to try and help someone, I know how scary things can be.

[Lissy43]

Thanks PP,

I love my children so much and they are so happy but I feel this anxiety does stop me being the best mother I could be, I worry all the time and am over cautious. I worry all the time that Imight die or my children, I love them so much though and can't even think about not being here for them, it just reduces me to tears.

I am going to speak to my GP later about meds and some bloods being done, I feel awful. I think my GP could help me about the sinus thing and I am going back to ENT on wednesday to look at the scan results, hubby is coming with me for support and to tell ENT just how worried I am.