Feeling very selfish

[Eva May]

My boyfriend is extremely supportive of me, he really bends over backwards for me and that's why I feel like the world's most selfish cow right now. He suffers from bipolar and he hasn't gone to work in the last two months and I find myself starting to lose patience with him. I haven't actually said anything and I keep it out of my tone of voice but my thoughts are less charitable. We don't live together (because of my panic) but he's in this hopeless place at the moment and I feel really affected by it. It's turning into slight resentment. Anyone else go through this with anyone?

[Anxious_gal]

when my friend was depressed, she was no fun at all and always went on and on about how bad she felth, me being the type of person who keeps problems to my self, i started to feel angry towards her, i couldnt give her the support she needed because i had my own problems, she would also bring my mood down, now that shes better and i see how much support she gives me even if i dont ask for it, i feel bad about not being there for her when she needed me the most.

[citygirl1]

It's very common, my best friend deserted me when i needed her most. I think she knows that now. She's there for me now apparently but i don't think she really is. You need to be really aware to appreciate a persons mental well being.

[pooh]

Hi Eva

I can relate to this. The joy of coming on NMP is its no pressure support. You give if you are able you don't if you can't. I admit that in real life i am far less tolerant sometimes. I just cannot be bothered sometimes with other peoples problems. I have worked this out to being like being confronted by myself therefore I hate it. It's like looking in a mirror lol
Everyone has a natural cut of point it doesn't mean that you don't care, but it does mean you can have had enough sometimes. Plus when your own personal reserves are low ie dealing with yourself you can get bled emotionally dry a lot quicker. So how do you deal with this?
My way is to say ( particularly to my partner).. I love you and I can hear you but right now I can't listen or help. It's honest and works for us and he is the same back.
Sometimes though when it really counts you have to push past yourself and be there for that other person whether you feel like it or not. As long as its not 24/7 for me its managable ( just) I work in social care and deal with emotional stuff all the time sometimes I get home and dont want to even talk.
Eva what you describe is normal. we all have to self preserve to a certain extent.

Pooh xx

[Eva May]

Thank you. I feel a lot less horrible now :)

[co-okie]

i know how you feel my boyfriend always watches tv and playes games and i feel really selfish when i ask him to pay some attention to me because right now he doesnt seem to pay attention to me at all and i feel like im at the stage of resentment and would rather be myself but im not sure.