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chrissie42
01-12-03, 11:51
Where do I begin, lol this may well be a long story so I hope you dont mind.

I developed Panic/anxiety 21yrs ago not long after the birth of my first Daughter Jo.
I have suffered from Social Anxiety for as long as I remember but I used to think I was just a procrastinator who "took the easy way out" and had no ambition etc. Then I was told I suffered social Anxiety which I then read about and saw "Myself" so clearly in the description.

I had very low self esteem when I started to have Acute Anxiety and a very stressful life I didn't cope well with stress and still dont lol.

Anyway I Had my first panic attack and the rest as they say is history.
I have struggled for many years, bringing up 3 children,
like so many here I lived with Anxiety "Daily" and managed just about to live a life - but not a forfilled life, not a life that brought me joy, I called it a half life "waiting" until the day I could be normal again (whatever Normal is)

I have been Agoraphobic now for 6 years which followed a nervous breakdown....but I am putting my life back togehter piece, by piece.


Arming ourselves with Knowledge and "Straight talking" has helped me so very much to find a way out of this darkness....there is light at the end of the tunnel - each of us is on a journey and we need to keep taking those baby steps everyday, towards freedom...What I have learned along the way is the answers the "Cure" we all yearn for "LIES WITHIN US".

I say to myself if I can do this surely I can help others, I feel a real need and urgency to share what I have learned - this is why I decided to write a book - there isn't a "Cure" for Anxiety - how can there be it is a human response that is necessary for our survival in a moment of very real threat and we can never get rid of it, like we cant get rid of the colour of Our eyes -(unless we wear coloured contacts lol)

I believe that with support, acceptance and love we can reach a point of" coping with" and surviving Panic.
I am not claiming to have all the answers but I do know for a fact that Panic doesn't have to be "ALL" of us, we are more than just Panic... we can arm ourselve with positive talking and change our way of thinking - but it takes practise and hard work to change this habitual way of thinking - and we will have setbacks and feel dissapointed - but when we do have setbacks we can remember how far we have come..so setbacks are good.


I remember my cry for help in the midst of Panic was "Please make this go away" then one day I realsied for myself it wont go away - you have to learn with courage and determination to Embrace it and work through it.

What do we fear in that moment of Panic? we fear the fear itself...we fear "feeling" we fear the sensations,the irrational thoughts,we recall the syptoms of a Heart attack, a brain tumour, a stroke and all the countless other very "Real" threats, we believe in that moment of sheer terror is happening to us.

But Panic as we all know is a Master of disgiuse....it can present itself as "REAL" ....."I felt like I was going to die" this is a very real thought and a very frightening thought to us all.

The worst thing for me when I was in Panic (I haven't had a panic attack for three yrs now)was the fear of being exposed...I had very real shame about this disorder and told no one about it, I avoided people who I knew wouldn't understand and I isolated myself for a long time, when I became Agoraphobic I felt relieved that I could finally say to someone "I have Agoraphobia" it was like I finally had something concrete to explain my, what some people called, "Strange behaviour".

I was also in an unhappy marrige which ended Last year - I have never looked back and when this happened I knew I was on the road to recovery because the one person in my life who should have been there for me was indeed a hindrenece and a negative influence in my life.

I have found Knoweledge and insight on another message board which I Have been a member of now for 2 yrs - Some say these message boards have a negative affect and keep u

imported_n/a
01-12-03, 16:16
chrissie
how wonderful you're feeling beter, and I believe in everything you say, although I do think the amount of negativity, new frightening symptoms can make you feel much worse, it definately had that effect on me, but reading stories like yours has a positive hopeful effect..If we all shared positive experiences, we might all get better, it has to have a knock on effect

benoo5
01-12-03, 16:39
chrissie,

well done on your achievements,so far..that light at the end of the tunnel is beconing you..a few more positive steps,and you will be able to put out your hand,and touch it..well done..bryan.

nomorepanic
01-12-03, 23:46
quote:Originally posted by chrissie42


I have found Knoweledge and insight on another message board which I Have been a member of now for 2 yrs - Some say these message boards have a negative affect and keep us in panic,and I think of course that is rubbish,without "others" to share our Fears we are alone - sharing in a community and being able to share without judgement is a step in the right direction, it is a wonderful thing to share Human experience and I hope you will all allow me to share here too.

I truly believe that running the website and reading all the posts in here has helped me immensely. I get so many tips cos I read EVERY post. I believe that my success story comes from all the help I get in here.

Ok, it can be stressful at times cos there is so much to do and read and reply to but something changed in my life and I believe it was all you guys that post on here.

Great success story Chrissie - you are doing so well [8)]

Nicola

Scaredtoolong
02-12-03, 21:16
Hi Chrissie,
I am amazed that just yesterday I wrote a post regarding my recent success in learning to overcome this disorder. Ours posts share some similarities and it really does reinforce what I believe is the key to being "normal" again.

You are so right that anxiety is a part of EVERYONE and NO-ONE will ever "get rid of it" completely. It is a necessary part of our human make-up. I think that once we all face down the fear-symptoms-fear cycle that the process of "being normal" begins.

Some of the things I have learned from all this are;
1. Panic sufferers are all very creative people.
2. Most of us have had problems with our self esteems
3. We are almost always very very very loving persons.
4. We are all much more courageous than we realize, as dealing with the symptoms of this disorder on a daily basis is NO EASY TASK!

That really does make us an elite and honorable group, doesn't it?

Cheers to you for taking "the bull by the horn" and learning to live again.

NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!!! Hugs, Susan

Meg
03-12-03, 00:06
It's so great to have you here Chrissie.

Well done for going it alone and coming out so strong...

You have done so well not to have a panic attack for 3 years. You say you 'have been agoraphobic for 6 years now' , Do you have any remaining limitations that you're tackling ?

I agree with you and Nic about message boards having a cumulative positive effect for most, but if someone is still very new to panic and extremely vunerable to passing thoughts and other peoples experiences I can see that it could be distressing.

I guess that we all need to feel strong enough to be able to absorb passively and share actively in order to be here.

I was reading the Oprah panic board when I was very new to it all once and was quite happy skimming it all when there was suddenly a post about an association with WPW syndrome. It really touched a nerve with me as I used to work with these patients.

I ended up just sitting back and rationalizing it for a few minutes before dismissing it totally. Had I not had the reasoning skills or self belief I could easily have gone into a panic attack or be legging it down to the surgery and running my own ECG.

Take good care






Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

Laurie28
03-12-03, 14:21
Hiya,

the great thing about message boards is that (in my case anway) you realize you are not alone. The feeling that u are the only person going through it is a nightmare. I've been lucky in the fact that I don't read others symptoms/anxieties and automatically get them.
Thsi message forum has been 100% positive for me and has def. helped me on my way.

Well done Nic and thanks to all that have helped I hope one day I will be able to help someone like u guys have helped me.

Love
lucky

nomorepanic
03-12-03, 21:27
Lucky

Please don't thank me - all I did was bring us all together and we seem to be helping each other no end. You and Charlie are both stars in my eyes and Meg and Bryan know how I feel about their contributions.

So thanks to you too :-)

xx

Nicola

Lottie32
04-12-03, 10:08
Nic

Yes but you started it!!!!!!!!!!!!! (LOL)

If it wasn't for you we wouldn't be here now!

Many thanks

Love

Charlie

nomorepanic
04-12-03, 22:04
Thanks Charlie

It has been a long haul to get it all going but now I think it "ticks" along nicely and I am so pleased to see so many happy people here.

Nicola

uryjm
06-12-03, 10:04
I'd just like to add that I've found this forum to be very comforting. Having had panic and anxiety for twenty years, one of the frustrations was finding anyone who could relate to what I was going through. I think that all I wanted, and still want, was somewhere I could tell people about it all without them trying to cure me, pity me or shun me. This board allows me to do this, and I know people here know exactly how I feel or have felt in the midst of panic. I just wish I'd found it earlier!

Jim

sadie
06-12-03, 11:04
I agree with you Jim, this forum has been the best thing that has probably happened for me and my anxiety since they started 3 years ago. Its so comforting to know that when things feel out of control, you can just come on here and read other peoples anxiety experiences, listen (not literally) to other peoples advice or post your own worries etc and ask for help.

I have read so many books etc since my anxiety started..all which give similar advice to what is given on this forum but up until now it has never had much influence on me. However, I have found over the last few weeks that when the panic monster rears its ugly head, I have thought of what advice I have been given here and have managed to panic less...which is great!! For me , being able to speak openly and not being frightened or embarassed of what scares me during my anxiety attacks has definetly helped me. I have always felt embarassed to discuss my 'illness' with people up until now..now theres no stopping me!!

Thanks to all who have helped me over these last few weeks..I am sooo grateful.and I hope I have managed to give a little something back somehow.

Take care everyone

sadie