I couldn't do it !

[helenclaire]

Well i am sat here now feeling totally useless and really upset.
I had an appointment for a blood test this morning, as i have been having a couple of problems and needed my thyroid and hormone levels checked.

I have been putting if off as i hate going places, and find the doctors especially difficult, i think its because it is always busy and hot in there, it makes me feel ill, and i feel trapped.

Anyway i have been talking myself into it all morning, telling myself i need to do it for the sake of my health and i did actually get as far as the car park, but then i felt so sick, i just couldn't go in.
I know its stupid and i have to do it but i feel so bad i cannot face it.
Now of course i am upset and scared as i will have to try again, and to make matters worse i start a new job tomorrow and now i am worried that i will feel too bad to go there as well.

I just cannot see a way around it, how do you force yourself to do these things when you feel so bad, i need to have the blood test to find out what is going on but i cannot face getting it done. It sounds crazy but i feel like i am stuck in a hole with nobody to help me out.

I have been waiting to see the councillor for 7 months now, but i could do with help right now.

Sorry for the rant, feeling sorry for myself.
:weep:

[honeybee3939]

Aww Helen

Have a hug from me hun:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

There have been times myself when i felt i just couldnt do it and had to return home and im sure thier are many others here on NMP that have been the same so dont feel as if you have failed because you havent, you can always try again.

Could you not ring up the surgery and explain how you feel? im sure they will understand, i bet they get people everyday that find visiting them hard.
Maybe you could ask them if you could have a appointment at a quiet time then you dont have to sit about. I have even sat in the car park and waited for them to call me in before now. Also maybe a good idea to get someone to go with you as company to take your mind off things.

Dont be disheartened hun, i always say theres always another day and it isnt the end of the world.

Keep smiling hun:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxxx

[vti2007]

I have the same trouble with the doctors and especially with blood tests can't cope with needles at all!!

What I do is try and make my appointments for the first appointment of the day then you know it will be quiet and there won't be a long wait and I usually get someone to go with me for the blood tests.

As for the job I went back to work today after months off and I felt awful on the way in but once I got there I was OK, had a couple of little blips but it was OK. Just try and tell yourself that it is something that you have got to do there is no way out and that you will feel so much better once it is over and done with. Once that first day is done it can only get easier.

That it what I told myself and it seemed to keep the anxiety at bay long enough to get it over with. Just keep looking forward to the sense of achievement you will have once you have done it. And buy a big cream cake to put in the fridge for when you get home! Worked for me!!!

I think the only way I am ever going to recover is by making myself do the things that frighten me. I have done them before so why can't I do them again. My brain doesn't seem to see it that way some days and fights me all the way but eventually and slowly it does seem to get used to the idea that it will be OK. 2 months ago I couldn't leave the house let alone walk round the block. I got over that then started going into town sometimes and that became easier and hopefully returning to work will be the same. I am sure you will be the same. It it really hard but just remember always how much you want your life and freedom back and working again is such a huge step back towards normality. A huge step is going to be really hard to make but remember it is a huge step towards recovery. Just think of all the other things that will become easier in time once you can again cope with working. That is the thought that keeps me going along with all the advice on here!!

Hope that helps :yesyes:

[gtrgrl3369]

Dont be so hard on yourelf that will only make matters worse. I have cancelled many appointments because of this same reason. A room full of people and the noise gives me the creeps. I feel closed in. Here is what I did, I talked to my doctor and told him that I would be waiting outside and when he was really ready to see me to call my cell or have the nurse come out and get me. They do and now I go to the doctor. As far as the job goes good luck, you can do this, take your time and remember to breathe. We are not quitters because we are afraid, we just have to try harder. Lots of "healthy" people get scared on their first day of work, we just focus more on ours. Take care today it will go great...:yesyes: