can't get out of bed, rejecting reality

[befuddled1]

I seem to go from having confidence when I'm doing lots involving other people to nil confidence when I've spent too much time on my own. Right now I just wanna relax and hide away from the world. Or, of course, better still to participate in life and feel ok about it.
I don't know what to do. I have given myself a decision to make when I can't make decisions. I have no one am able to talk to about it. (I have social anxiety). If I get up and face the day I'm bound to feel bad so I seem to be staying in bed, but that will make me feel bad too in the long run. Look how much life you're wasting and you know time is passing and anything could happen.
Trouble is, that more confident person I sometimes am, she's someone else and while I'm this person I don't know if I even want to be the other one, cause she's so different. Maybe this is who I am ultimately, the one who can't do anything. The confident one is nowt but a facade on all my bad stuff. I mean how can I work with people and help them live more happily when ultimately I'm like this? I'm a complete fraud am I not, to work with people as if I believe the world is worth living in and on the other hand to be someone who would rather hide away from the world. Who am I underneath it all? And does it matter or am I just making a lot of fuss? Well this isn't helping me to get out of bed. Indulging self-pity and almost enjoying writing this negative stuff. Think I just heard a dinosaur. Oh no, it was an aeroplane. someone needs to turn my light off, it shouldn't be on in the middle on the day. Ok, enough randomness. I apologise for it. I'm not this weird all the time, honest. When I really care about others reading this and what they think, which I often do I may well regret this.
Now, how do I get out of bed?

[befuddled1]

Ok, this post has had quite a few views but no replies. I admit it makes me sound a bit weird. Was it too odd? Did it not make enough sense? Or did I just sound mad?
Say what you like, I'd like to know because sometimes I really wonder about how I communicate. I'm so used to talking about myself only to myself (due to social anxiety) that I wonder if I can't really do it to other people.
I'd like to know what you think.
I'm not feeling much better today. I still want to reject reality and hide away. And I wonder if ultimately I'm fooling myself if I try to be someone who participates in the world.

[Hope 2]

Hi There

I admit to being one of those who read your post, and I am sorry for not replying. Reason is cos I related to a lot of what you said, but had no advice to offer to help you.

I have brain strain just now, will get back to you though lol.

Julia xx

[keepemlaughing]

One foot at a time! Girl ramble on, that's what we are here for. I hope that you feel better soon. Some days I don't get up until 5pm. We deserve and need that once in a while.
Good luck.
Sheryl