WorriedinNJ
25-09-08, 20:24
Hey everyone! I'm new here nad just fell across this forum a few days ago. I was looking for some help in my dilemma. It might sound stupid and it might be a bit graphic but I hope you guys can help.
Right now, I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety about having HIV. This goes back to what happened two weeks ago. Before I tell you that, I will have to say that I am a very inexperienced person regarding sex and have had few experiences so please bear with my ignorance. I am also dealing with my sexuality but that's an entirely separate issue. OK. I work in NYC. Two weeks ago, I went to an adult store that had buddy booths. I won't get too detailed so I don't gross anyone out. There was another guy next to mine and he proceeded to give me oral sex. Probably, only the second time in my life I had received oral sex. So, this went on for a bit until we finished. Afterwards, for some reason I started to think that it wasn't oral but that I also penetrated him for a brief period (less than a minute if at all. I couldn't see his part of the booth, there was a wall separating it.) As soon as I got back, I started googling symptoms of HIV and pretty much started feeling them. Tired, muscle pain, feeling hot although I dont think I have a fever, pretty down. I keep checking to see if any of my lymph nodes are swollen and swalling to see if I have a sore throat. I have allergies too that I keep thinking is a cold.
I basically can't help feeling this anxiety. It's been only two weeks but I'm convinced that I do have HIV even though I keep telling myself that I don't. I'm scared of going to the doctor but know I will have to. I do have a history of anxiety. At various points in my life, I have experienced anxiety over having cancer, dying in my sleep, going crazy, or hurting my loved ones. I just hate this feeling. I also feel intense guilt over what I did two weeks ago and wish I could just take it back because I hate feeling like this.
Right now, I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety about having HIV. This goes back to what happened two weeks ago. Before I tell you that, I will have to say that I am a very inexperienced person regarding sex and have had few experiences so please bear with my ignorance. I am also dealing with my sexuality but that's an entirely separate issue. OK. I work in NYC. Two weeks ago, I went to an adult store that had buddy booths. I won't get too detailed so I don't gross anyone out. There was another guy next to mine and he proceeded to give me oral sex. Probably, only the second time in my life I had received oral sex. So, this went on for a bit until we finished. Afterwards, for some reason I started to think that it wasn't oral but that I also penetrated him for a brief period (less than a minute if at all. I couldn't see his part of the booth, there was a wall separating it.) As soon as I got back, I started googling symptoms of HIV and pretty much started feeling them. Tired, muscle pain, feeling hot although I dont think I have a fever, pretty down. I keep checking to see if any of my lymph nodes are swollen and swalling to see if I have a sore throat. I have allergies too that I keep thinking is a cold.
I basically can't help feeling this anxiety. It's been only two weeks but I'm convinced that I do have HIV even though I keep telling myself that I don't. I'm scared of going to the doctor but know I will have to. I do have a history of anxiety. At various points in my life, I have experienced anxiety over having cancer, dying in my sleep, going crazy, or hurting my loved ones. I just hate this feeling. I also feel intense guilt over what I did two weeks ago and wish I could just take it back because I hate feeling like this.