View Full Version : For What It's Worth

26-05-05, 14:29
I would like to offer you my thoughts. I understand that some of what you are about to read may be a little unpalatable but I hope my post doesn't offend.

I have been through what you are going through. You can find my ID on a few old posts.

Eight months ago (september 2004) I started my journey.

It began with tingling in my hands and feet. I looked this up on Google and became convinced that I had Multiple Sclerosis (MS)

I went to my doctors straight away and told him my fears. He didn't even examine me and sent me on my way.

Over the next eight months I experienced the following;

constant tingling in palms & back of hands for 4 months
more frequent stools
clicking wrist
sore skin on inside of forearm
sensitive skin to clothes
burning circle sensation on arm
burning across lap
stomach pains
back pains
arm aches
lump in throat
Warm sensation at bottom of leg
muscle twitches
random pin pricks on skin ( like tiny rain drops)
twitching eye
weight loss
weight gain
kidney infection

All of these symptoms served to convince me further that I had MS. And not just "ordinary" MS but a fatal or at least severly disabling form of MS.

I also, at times, convinced myself that I had Cancer, ALS, Leukemia & Kidney failure.

At one point I spent the best part of a week lying in bed writing my will and letters to my children (3 & 6 years old) because I was convinced I was dying. My relationship with my wife was falling apart. My relationship with my children did not exist and my career had hit the skids.

Within a 4 month period I visited my GP over 20 times, the local A&E 5 times (once in an ambulance !), Two consultant neurologists at BUPA, I had a testicular ultrasound scan, blood tests and X-rays. I even contacted the MS society for advice !

Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, was found.

But the fear of MS was all pervading and I never found the reassurance that I so desperatly sought.

I am now better ( or at least 95% better ) and the solution was pretty simple.

Firstly, I stopped going to the doctor over each symptom that arose.
I decided not to resort to medication.
I bought myself a music keyboard and started writing songs.
I stopped symptom surfing on the internet.
I stopped looking at forums like this one.
I met up with a pschyologist once a week.
I started exercising a little.

The bottom line is you have to stop feeding your fear. The more you research, the more you join in with forums like this, the more you associate yourself with your anxiety. This is what you have got to stop.

It takes a great deal of discipline at first, but gradually, for me over a 3 month period, it gets easier and easier and life beings to return to normal.

There are a lot of well meaning, good intentioned people out there but, it's time to stand on your own two feet, time to be counted and to address whatever issues have brought you to this point. Ultimately, you can only do this on your own. You have a choice as to whether to see this as fear inducing or whether to see it as liberating.

All the very best wishes,


P.S. I can recommend "The Linden Method" as I used this as the basis of my approach. The method is nothing particularly spectacular but the encouragement and supprt from their telephone helpline staff was worth the money on its own.

26-05-05, 15:40
Hi pnb

good to see you are getting yourself together,

yes postitve thinking is the way,

but some days can be harder than others, thats why we are all here to give each other support,

at the end of the day we all want to feel normal again,

take care

kairen x