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befuddled1
27-09-08, 11:37
I've been me for a long time now. I can't help but feel that my life is and has been rather a mess. I don't mean that I have had a lot of bad experiences and made a lot of mistakes (though I've obviously made a few I'm sure). I mean that I just don't feel I have a clear idea of what my life has been, who I am. And I percieve that others do have this. They seem much more settled about everything, as if it is within their control. Their lives are their own.
I don't know if that makes much sense but what I'm getting to is the fact that I feel I'm different somehow to everyone else. I have a range of issues it seems and fit a range of labels and I would just feel so much better if I had just one diagnosis I could give to people to explain myself. There may be some general pattern about the way I'm functioning in the world which lends itself to particular label. But I, being so full of doubt so much of the time, cannot identify it, and no one else has really tried. I suppose I just want a simple answer. Such as some expert to say - look, you have far more anxiety on a day to day basis than the average person and that's why you don't fit the norm that you percieve. I want someone to say - gosh! you have been this way all your life!? I want a label badly, but it has to be one that fits. It's just that when there's so many out there how can I not fit one? This may sem rather weird but I have so much self-doubt and have had others doubt me lately which only makes it worse. If I could say, look, I have this disorder. I have been diagnosed with it through a very thorough assessment (it would have to be thorough or I wouldn't be satisfied), if I could say that it would just take some of the self-doubt away and mean that others might doubt me less and actually believe that I do have a problem and am not just being lazy and difficult or making a fuss about nothing.
I think that last bit shows what it's all about. Lack of self-confidence, esteem, whatever you want to call it.
So can I ask my GP? Can I say I've been this way for years, this way that's not quite right, and I'd just like to check there's not a diagnosis for what I have. I'd like to see an expert and have them confirm either by giving me one label or saying I have a mixture of a few things. I need someone else's opinion to validate my problems, I don't trust my own. But wanting that label is probably part of the problem, but I want it so much. I just want some psychiatrist to check me out once and for all and tell me what my problem is, confirm that I have one.

worriedGrace
27-09-08, 11:59
I understand how you feel. I am 60 years old and all my life I have felt like a square peg in a round hole. Other people seem to get on with their lives and are not plagued by the terrible self doubt that I have. I also want a label to describe what is wrong with me and have seen psychiatrists and psycologists who have been so vague that I am none the wiser.

The only consolation I have found is that everyone else is not as happy or content as they seem and with a little scratching beneath the surface they soon tell you what bothers them and you soon realise that thee is no such thing as a 'normal' person it's just that some people are better at hiding their feellings than others. I try not to keep looking back over my life and beating myself up about past mistakes and wrong decisions but it is hard.

The conclusion I have come to is that this is me and I must get on with it. It is not very likely that at my age I shall find the secret of happiness and as I feel that this life is all that we get I try to make the most of it. This is easier said than done I have found out but I do try.

Bill
28-09-08, 03:27
socially anxious, and anxious about death and anxious in a number of other ways too.

I'm a student at the moment on a pretty hard course and anxiety makes it harder. I struggle with social anxiety and (some) paranoid thoughts amongst my peers and also struggle with my work because of anxiety/avoidance/low motivation

Also got some health worries at the moment.

The above is from one of your original posts so I'm presuming that you're still on your course.

You say you've always suffered from anxiety so my guess is that you're a "natural worrier". You're socially anxious because perhaps you lack self-esteem and self-confidence.

You're also feeling under alot of stress because the course is hardwork and this stress is compounding your already existing anxieties so is now also creating (some) "suspicious" thoughts together with personal health worries.

So as for a label, I'd say you suffer from........."Acute Anxiety (a natural worrier)"...."made worse by too much stress".

Try not to worry about the label but instead think about finding ways to spend some enjoyable relaxation time.:hugs:

Hope 2
28-09-08, 19:39
Hi beffudled

Think that's your label right there. Seriously though, I have major problems with identity. I didn't realise just how deep this ran. So I can relate to the 'who the hell am I' deal.

I have had the dream of the full analysis and diagnosis. The nhs has let me down in my request for recent help. I am not crazy enough.

I guess I am trying to say, maybe if we can find our own answers, perhaps this can help us, help ourselves.

Cheerio Julia xx