Horrible thoughts - sory its so long

[Pixel]

Hi everyone.

Dont know if uve read any of my posts but the last year ive been obsessed with thinking im going mad in some way, it could be becoming pchizofrenic or just insane, and i finally have managed to overcome this thought and i felt so happy. This happiness lasted a day and then the next obsession has come. I keep thinking that i may be a paedophile. I know many others have posted about this, but ive taken all their advice and tried not too worry and let the thoughts pass but they just wont and now im even thinking that its not just thoughts and its real. I keep thinking if im thinking these horrible thoughts then how does that make me any different and what if one day i just start believing tht i am one. I have a 2 year old son and its the most awful feeling in the world. he keeps coming to me for couches and im pushing him away because of these thoughts. Im also afraid to have sex with my boyfriend incse i have these thoughts while im having sex and i like it. everytime my son comes near me im testing myself. Its awful because just now i was couching him and thought how cute his arms were and then i felt sick that i had thought this. Its like i dont know whats real anymore. Please help.

[makenzie]

hi, your thoughts are very common, and i suffer very bad with thoughts like this. I know how horible it is, and it drains the life out of you doesnt it, and makes you feel like not doing the things in life you would normally enjoy. BUT you need to just say to yourself that these are just thoughts that believe it or not every1 has except i give them more significance than they deserve, which then fuels the thoughts, making them feel real. It is just OCD,(ANXIETY). You are not a peodophile, because if you was you would not be on here openly admitting your thoughts and feelings. I am only 21 years old, and i have had thoughts along these lines from the age of about 13 or so. I have been diagnosed with OCD, about two months ago, and for yearsit bothered me, growing up. And im not a good 1 2 talk because i still have these thoughts now, and to make you feel better they are a lot weirder and harder 2 understand than the one you have posted, and i still ask if people on this site for help and if any1 can relate to them, at the same time deep down inside of me i no my thoughts are outrageous, and not real, and you do to, but its just a case of letting this take over and not ocd. Please dont let yourself get down about this too much, because i know how upsetting it is, if you need to talk about it in more detail, then just send me a message on here or private. Dont feel like you cant tell me anything because yours cant be worse than mine lol. Take care. Mak.

[JasonB]

Hi Carstar,

First of all, do not be alarmed, or depressed by your current situation, and by your thoughts.

In your current situation, you say that the thought and anxiety that you may be a paedophile is getting you down, and effecting your life in a negative way. Just because you think this, it doesnt make it true. Far from it.

OCD combined with anxiety can make you feel fearful of these thoughts, and you have become very sensitive to both your own thoughts, and physical symptoms.

----

The good news is you can relax.

One thing I have observed through looking at many different forms of OCD, is that the underlying factors that trigger obsessive thoughts, is fear and doubt.

First thing to deal with is the doubt. Now.... you know your not a paedophile right!?

You found your babies arms cute.....

Babies arms are cute!!! So are babies!!!!

I've just watched a program on TV where there we're lots of cute kids. And I went all gooey and thought, "How GORGEOUSSS!"

Does that make me or anyone a paedophile? No. Of course not.

Babies and kids are cute, gorgeous, whatever you want to call them.

Those thoughts are natural, and are part of why we love children.

----

The thing is, when you panic about it, you release fear hormones. And those will make you feel fearful of something, even though there may be nothing to be fearful of. (As is the case with you.)

The brain then worries..... "Maybe i'm a paedophile?!"

The fear fuels the doubt, and then the doubt in turn fuels the fear. And it spirals until you have one very depressed indivdual who has convinced themselves they must be a paedophile.....

When the truth is.. they're just an anxious person, who have let their fears and doubts get out of control.

----

If you can deal with the doubt first, you can then face the fear in the comfort that you know there is nothing actually wrong with you.

The fear will then gradually subside, and like a fire without oxygen, you obsessive thoughts will fade, and be extinguished.

----

Do not panic. Everything will be alright.

There may be a few setbacks, and moments of frustration, but eventually you will get over it. And you will enjoy life even more having been through the experience. If you have any further questions or concerns, post them here.

Peace and Good Luck

Jason

[Pixel]

Thanks for the replys. I really need support at the moment so thanx.