Anxiety when people are around you.

[pauline]

Hi All

Not posted for ages. I am alot better but i am still stuggling with the going away from home. I work 2 part-time jobs one of which i am now a supervisor and cope ok. I suppose i just do not have the time to come on here as much as i did when i was not working. At nights i am so tired as i still do not sleep that well.

But anyway on to my reason for posting. Since having the computer i have found 2 very good friends and one of those lives in York. She has been down to see me unfortunatly i have not managed the return journey but she understands the reason why. We had arranged that this Bank Holiday she would come and stay with me for a few days and i was looking forward to it ( she only came for the day last time and even then i was so very panicky). As the time got closer and closer to the day it's here now i have been feeling very anxioues. so the other day i sent her a email and cancelled and i feel very sad about this. You see my problem is that though i love people and feel lonely alot having anxiety. I panic terribly in the house and more so when people are around me i just want them to go its like a big weight has been lifted once they have gone and i can start breathing again.

So there was me thinking she will of made this effort to come all that way and i will be a mess and just want the time to go and whats the point in that. Its not as if its even say this friend its anyone even my own family. You see i keep it in ashamed of the way i am feeling and thinking what is it, look these poeple love you they only want the best for you and here you are panicing like mad. I suppose at the end of the day its because i feel i will fall apart make a fool of myself.

What i want to know is there anything i can do to help myself? I need to start making more friends but if i have to keep turning people down how am i ever going to keep friends.

Thanks and take care
pauline

[sal]

Hi Pauline

I have lost friends through wanting to be on my own and they didnt understand how i felt. Keep talking to people about how you feel and seeing that they understand you, will help you for when they are around you. They will understand and you will feel comfortable in the knowledge that they do understand.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[seh1980]

hi Pauline,

A true friend will understand how you feel. The only way you will get better at this is by having friends over and getting used to it. The more you have them over, the more 'normal' this will seem to you and the more you will start to enjoy it. Letting your friends know how you feel is good because that way you can discuss how you are feeling at the time with them..

Sarah :D

[Incii]

Hi Pauline
Do you think this friend who was due to visit would understand if you explained how you feel? if so then please reschedual the weekend, it would be good for you to have a friend around you and you could use this time to explain to her how things affect and how facing things like this make you anxious, and tell her you would appriciate her understanding even ask her how she might cope when things make her anxious, i'm sure as sal just said a true friend will understand and be compassionate.

Love sharon xxxxx

[Meg]

Pauline,

maybe it seemed a bit overwhemlming to have someone coe for a few days whe you haven't had any overnight guests at all previously.
Maybe just one night would be enough to start with or even more having people round for shorter periods of time initially


Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Piglet]

Hi Pauline,

If you think your friend would understand then I would tell her.

I know what you're going through as I can be a bit the same and although I'm getting a little better at telling the odd person I feel almost ashamed about it. This in turn makes me cross as if we all stopped pretending we were coping really well and admitting it, it wouldn't feel like such a taboo subject (it is better than it was years ago when no-one ever talked about it but there is still some way to go).

I have a friend who has admitted to me about her anxiety but all her other friends are so hurt with her as they think she doesn't care about them anymore - I have to tell some of my friends as I need them, being a single mum. I think its better to discuss it, then your friends don't feel abandoned rather than lose them anyway, as they think you don't care.

I'm sure she'll be understanding - I've yet to tell anyone and have them say anything horrible.

Love Piglet



"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[rois]

Tell your friend what you're going through, you have no reason to be ashamed. It may seem easier on your own, I find it is because if you start getting too panicky and your on your own at least you won't be humiliated? Thats my scope on it. Ask your friend to come down at another time, if you feel panicky leave the room (say you're going to get something from the kitchen, for example) try a few breathing exercises and have a drink of water just until you're composed again. I hope you don't lose out on this friendship, good luck. Let us know what happens, Rois

[pauline]

Hi Everyone

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. My friend know's i suffer with anxiety and she has been very kind about things. I know that this is something i will have to work on. Somedays are better than others and when its bad and a friend might be round its ok as i can tell myself well in a few hours they will be gone. But i supppose the knowing she is making an big effort coming all that way and knowing that she will not be gone in a few hours makes it harder to deal with.

Take care
Pauline



pjpriest