First time here..can anyone help?

[Harlock]

Hi everyone,

I have only just found this site and I'm hoping somebody can help. Let me explain the situation.....

About 2 weeks ago I was driving with my wife when I suddenly bust into tears and started shaking all over, this was coupled by severe chest pain which led me to believe I was having a heart attack. As a result, I went to the hospital and was told it was a panic attack.

In the followng days, I got a very bad chest infectioon which only added to my feeling of depressions.

However, last night whilst doing the dishes I started to have thoughts of hurting both myself and my wife, they have contiued over the last 24 hours and I am becoming more and more upset and distressed by them as I love and care for my wife very much. I cant seem to stop these thoughts and I am so scared that I m going crazy.

My rationale mind tells my they may be the result of a panic attack and that fact that I dont like my job, and that my brother recently lost his legs.

Can someone please help or reassure me that I'm not going crazy, whilst I know I would never act on these thoughts, they are very upsetting.

Please help my friends...

[pinkpiglet]

Hi Harlock,
YOU ARE NOT GOING CRAZY!
Although sometimes the mixture of anxiety and depression can make you feel like we are. What you must do is go and visit your G.P as soon as you can get an appointment. These symptoms, thoughts and feelings are new and alien to you. Any new symptoms should be checked out by your G.P! I have always suffered from anxiety but this year after a fair bit of upheavel i started to suffer really bad with anxiety and then depression started to kick in. I started to feel as if i should harm myself or take drastic action to stop these terrible feelings i was suffering. I felt so low, i would cry at the drop of a hat, i felt 'glum' is the best way i can describe it. I was frightened and shocked by my thoughts so i went straight to see my g.p. She prescribed me fluoxetine and referred me for CBT (which i am still waiting for), i bought relaxation cd's, opened up to my family, joined this site (NMP) and bought self help books. I am now much better than i was. You have made the first step to your recovery by recognising the changes in your mood and sharing it with us lot. Let me know how you get on because i will be thinking about you. Anxiety is terrible and hard to manage on your own, with help you can get through it!! Take care!!!

[ricric]

Good Morning Harlock, welcome to no more panic:)

When you spoke to your Doctor, what did they say? Did they diagnose you with depression/Anxiety?

Sounds like these thoughts of yours about hurting yourself and your wife are terrifying you. but they are only thoughts!! remember that!

The thing is, when your depressed, the grass always seems greener on the other side. I constantly thought of leaving my life behind me and chilling on a beach in a hot country by myself. Yeah it sounds good but I would be taking the same thoughts with me. just suffer in a new place..

I would if I were you, go and see your GP with a list of your thoughts, and symptoms, and ask for help..
Your not going crazy, believe me, crazy people dont know they are crazy!!:winks:

Your thoughts btw are upsetting, but they dont control you, you control you!!! say nice things to yourself rather than torturing yourself. Your a good person, and deserve happiness!!:)

PM me if you ever want to chat!

[Harlock]

To PinkPiglet and RicRic,

Thank you both for getting back to me so quickly, I really appriciate your words, I really do.

With a great deal of respect, my doctor is not very good. I have just arranged to see a CBT Therapist near my home.

I have just been crying for about 30 minutes, these thoughts have really upset me.

I want to believe all this will pass, it will wont it guys, I'm scared I have contracted something that will be with me for life.

Your new friend
Harlock

[pinkpiglet]

Yes!! it will pass but you do need to go and see your G.P. My doctor isnt very good either but she was much more understanding than i thought she would be. You do not have to accept any medication but just listen to what they have to say because they will reassure you that it is only anxiety and that you are not going crazy. I waited till August to go to my doctor when really i should have (and wish i had) gone in March when the thoughts and feelings first started. You won't get any rewards for dealing with it on your own- trust me!

[Harlock]

Thank you PinkPiglet, you are right, I will also go to see my doctor.

I am feeling a little better but I'm frightened that these thoughts we start again when my wife get's home?

[pinkpiglet]

They are only thoughts!! You are not going to respond to them. Trust me! Infact, when she gets in sit her down and tell her how you feel, tell her your fears and that you need her support. You will be surprised at how much better you feel and at how well she deals with it. x

[ricric]

Harlock, thats a massive step in he right direction, getting help is THE WISE CHOICE!!

As pink piglet said, sufferring alone isnt going to get you anywhere, just more suffering!!

[lou77]

you must go see your GP,if your not happy/comfortable with your GP then request to see another one. I,like many others on here waited and suffered alone for far too long before i did anything about my attacks: i felt like a total freak and thought noone would understand me,please dont make the same mistake. Talk to your wife,the support of your loved ones will make a huge difference, the longer you keep this inside the more you will worry which will make it worse,its a vicious circle. Keep chatting on here too,the advice and understanding you will get is amazing,i dont know how i coped before finding this site,the people are great.
:hugs:

[Pixel]

OMG u are definately NOT going crazy. Ive had these thoughts before ive had many other thoughts too, and although i seem to be over the one u are expriencing now ive moved on to the next. Ive had some good advice on here and the main bit is to try to ignore them, I try to distract myself with something, i even find myself spelling out random words like roadsigns. Im still going thru a tough time so im maybe not the best person to give advice on this but i will be there to talk if u want to message me.

[Dazza]

Definitely a good idea to see your GP, and get a referral to a counsellor or mental health practitioner who can help you work through this.

One of my closest best mates confided in me a few years ago that he got thoughts that plagues him, telling him to hurt others etc. Rest assured that he never acted upon ANY of these thoughts... he's one of the most docile people i know. I've also had the thoughts sometimes, about hurthing people close to me, and yes it's very ditressing... but I'm pretty confident that they are just thoughts coming up from some deep dark part of your subconsious, and that you will not act upon them. It's a bit like when you are standing by the platform in a railway station or in the tube and you get a thought telling you to jump on the line...I've had it loads in that particular situation (has anyone else?) but I've never done it!!

I'm sure that you will be fine...your mind has obviously just locked onto these thoughts for some reason at the moment, but with support, CBT etc, I'm sure you'll sort this out mate.

Keep talking to us.