i feel guilty

[Aloe20something]

there are so many reasons why i have been feeling so guilty lately, but the reason right now that i feel it SO strongly is because i was over at my parents and somehow all this stuff came up about how things were when my sister and i were growing up. my parents were being jerks about it for a while at first, and really defensive, per usual. but then my dad left the room, and my mom started calming down, and i started really crying so hard, and just told her so much about how much she and my father did that really hurt me. the truth is, i dont know how i will ever get past this. she says normal people dont think of their childhoods still like this. but i do. it just hurts. why am i always so crazy? and now im responsible for making them feel sad today, when they were fine before i went over there... ugh.... i dont know how to handle myself when i feel so many big feelings!!!:scared15: :shrug: :weep: :blush: blah. and she wants me to handle even more responsibilities than i have now! but, just one year ago, i couldnt even leave my old bedroom at their house! i am just trying so so soooooo hard!!!! im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorryyyyy

[marie1974]

hiya hun, i can really relate to u with your probs with your parents as i am going through exactly the same thing, i wont bore u cos its along story but if u go to my profile and look up my threads you will see wot i mean.

emotional blackmail mine are using at the moment, after 15 years and counselling recently i plucked up the courage to write a 6 page letter explaining why i feel hurt and upset and as u can guess it went down like a lead baloon, i wrote the letter as ive tried talking and they dont listen, they still not listening.

my advice is to try and move forward in your life and concentrate on you and not your parents, some people cant face the thought of being wrong etc and will never change, but u can move on from this and build a good life for yourself.

i dont rely on my parents for anything and im so glad otherwise i would have that thrown in my face.

anytime u need to talk i am here and u can pm me anytime. hugs xxxxx

[marie1974]

oh and just wanna add, dont feel guilty hun cos u r not guilty of making them sad, if they are sad its there own doing and they are using that to get to u. xxx

[Lynnann]

Hi aloe,

There are millions of people all over the world in therapy over things that happened in their childhood so crazy? I don't think so. Brave and facing the things that have bothered you yes I think that.

As parents we are responsible for a certain amount of things that our children experience, we may fall short of expectations, no one is perfect, it is more the intention that counts. We all make mistakes, perhaps your parents are feeling guilty as well?

As for responsibilities, only agree to the things you feel comfortable with and try to treat each day as a fresh new day.

You have no reason to feel guilty, talking about these things with your parents and trying to resolve these things is a positive step but I can't help thinking you should be doing this with therapy working alongside.

Hugs to you

Lynnann