Anxiety worries scaring me more than ever help :(

[phil06]

Can anybody release to anxiety causing more anxious thoughts I have had horrible HOCD thoughts for over a year and a half even though I am straight and find these thoughts horrible. This is the symptoms I'm having: http://www.brainphysics.com/hocd.php

I have had these HOCD worries for a while and the worrying is onto a new level reading stuff online my mind seems to have catched phrases in my head and my head now worries "What If I have feelings for the same sex" even when I know I don't but i may find a person fine to get on with but I get these awful worries and it can even boil down to this worry about a exact person I find this horrible and I know it's not me but anxiety makes me worry.

I've had the whole checking down below symptoms and worrying how I walk and avoiding situations can anybody relate to this?

I've had other worries spring off this OCD anxiety but this one seems to be at the top of my mind right now. I find it horrible how I find one situation worrying and then the next worrying thought is even more worrying. I said to myself last night that worrying is just worrying and means nothing and it only means something if i act on it?

From there my anxiety makes me worry because I have been single a while (not by choice) which makes me insecure about the future. I fear that telling anybody my horrible horrible thoughts like manic depression and hocd and weight worries will put them off me.

I find these thoughts awful and just want rid of them can somebody help me understand how these worries can become even more worrying? I would like a future getting married to a nice woman and have a family and these thoughts are awful. I had a g.f at the time these horrible thoughts started and I've had dates since with nice woman but I still worry.

It's not just that one I worry about losing weight so I check the scales daily, have to eat breakfast and If I don't I get panic attacks and fear I will fade away, become ill and stuff like that it all seems to build onto level to level. These thoughts scare me at the time and I just duno how I can convince myself it's anxiety..?

I have suffered badly over the last 6 months with this HOCD can anybody reassure me this is definitely anxiety? Even posting this makes me worry.

[Captain America]

i see no one's replied to this yet but rest assured, from what i've seen on this site these feelings are defnitely anxiety.

i went through an ocd bout myself a few years ago. didn't recognize it at the time. there was a time though when i did have a touch of hocd, but for some reason my ocd resolved on its own. i used to check door locks 10 times before bed, check all food to make sure that it was cooked, wash my hands if i touched ANYTHING. and there was a time where i started to wonder if i was gay or not, although i didn't have any feelings that would indicate that.

i was cured of the 'gay' thing when out with some friends, one of whom was, and he brought his boyfriend. funny...i was trying to avoid those situations but once i was there seeing them cuddle i knew right away that i was not.

again, it's an example of how with anxiety facing the fear is the way to conquer it.

[LeeBee]

Hi phil - from what I can gather from your post, your main issue is fear of your thoughts. They're just thoughts, as you know. The thoughts can't hurt you and they can't make you do anything that you don't want to.

I have bouts of obsessive thoughts but I don't have them in the way that many do on the OCD forum. What I've noticed in reading through the posts, though, is that people seem to have obsessive thoughts of doing/saying/feeling the things that they are most afraid of. Paedophilia thoughts seems to be quite a common one, for example. It's like it's the worst thing that they can think of, so that's the thing their anxiety homes in on. It's also the thing that they're least likely to do. Could that be how you feel about homosexual thoughts and feelings?

So what if you find yourself attacted to men sometimes as well as women? I bet it happens more often than you think that people are attacted to someone who is not the "right" sex for their usual sexual orientation. I have straight male friends who have told me that they have found men attractive. My sexual orientation is straight but I'm attracted to women sometimes too. Relax, allow yourself to be attracted to whoever you want and you'll find a path through this. Have you looked into CBT or counselling?

[phil06]

So what if you find yourself attacted to men sometimes as well as women? I bet it happens more often than you think that people are attacted to someone who is not the "right" sex for their usual sexual orientation. I have straight male friends who have told me that they have found men attractive. My sexual orientation is straight but I'm attracted to women sometimes too. Relax, allow yourself to be attracted to whoever you want and you'll find a path through this. Have you looked into CBT or counselling?

Yep that's the thing you can say somebody is a fair looking person but the OCD thoughts make me worry "what if I am/attracted to or have feelings for" when deep down i know I wouldn't regardless if it was any member of the same sex. The thoughts are illogical I don't think I'm attracted to them anyway the anxiety is just awful.

The funny thing is when I don't think about it I don't notice anybody and if I'm working I often look at any nice woman or if I am talking to a nice woman these thoughts are non existant almost the only time I would worry is "what if I say about my HOCD will they think it's not HOCD due to the type of worry it is" as it's not like worrying about bills? :scared15:

I worried for 2 years almost about manic depression coming back as I was on medication for what they thought was, but It turned out I never so the worry dropped from number 1 to number 2 or 3. At the time of this worry I would drive everybody mad asking reassurance that i was not going mad or depressed..the obsessive action was I'd not talk to anybody in case I was over chatty. This relieved my anxiety. So with HOCD avoiding situations relieves it but if the thought was never there id prob be thinking of what programme is on tv tomorrow and working out what nice woman to get a date with next? if that makes sense?

I had therapy for anxiety a while back they said challenge negative thoughts with positive ones but I focused more on breathing as at the time 50% of my anxiety was panic attacks and not going out..now that's relieved the worrying thoughts are 90% of my anxiety. :huh:

I refuse to accept it's anything other than HOCD as I know me, I've always had a real passion for woman which has faded (for logical reasons lack of confidence, poor dates with the wrong type of personality)...I still believe the right one is there for me. Of Course this feeling is great for the HOCD to make me worry and say "well it's because of this and not that" the HOCD stuff.

I would just like to over come the worry and accept anxiety and not have to worry.

[LeeBee]

It sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on this, phil, that you've thought about it a lot and that you're well on the way to understanding and accepting your anxiety, more than many. You're on the right path, mate, you just need get through your more anxious moments and to believe in yourself :).