View Full Version : UH OH Back to work on monday
Well i'v been making fairly good progress since i started of with this anxiety disorder. I'm still not 100% but i'm standing up to it now :)
I start work again on full time basis on monday and was given a walk around where i work yesterday to help me a little. They have been really good in understanding and helping me throught it, but i'm just a little worried it may overwhelm me. I think alot of is due to the fact that the major panic attacks started there and the last time i was there i was in the toilet for 2 and a half hours. I know i'v got to acknowledge the fact i have progressed a hell of alot but i'm scared of slipping back. At first i couldnt even go out the door or drive, but i pushed myself so hard to do it and now i feel alot more comfortable doing that. But i really am getting worried about work, i dont want to let myself down or them. I still have symptoms like nausia, dodgy bowels, little light headedness ect but there not as severe. Yesterday walking around i did get slightly jelly legs and it was probably a 7 out of 10 on the scale of panic. Can anyone give me a little advice on how i can cope a little better? I think if i can face the first day i should be ok.
Thanks
Ken
Hi Ken,
Firstly, I really want to give you a :hugs: as you have done so well to get to this stage mate!!
It's normal to be anxious, as your mind associates work with your panic attacks that happened there before... but you've done so much to get over it mate... that fact that you are ready to go back is testament to this.
I think this is your 'final big hurdle'...your anxiety is trying to have it's last dig at stopping you recover... don't let it undo all the work you have done! You've come such a long way. If you get to work and start to feel a bit wobbly, then remind yourself of just how far you have come, and that because you've done that, you can make it through at work.
When I had some hypnotherapy last year for arachnophobia, the hypnotist told me that one of the most important things to remember about fear, is that there will be an initial rise in the fear, but that it will peak and eventually subside. Try to keep that in mind when you feel anxious... feel the fear rise, and remember that it's the fear that is playing with your mind... the fear is much worse than the reality! :)
Good luck mate. Let us know how it goes! We will be rooting for you mate!
Hi ken - it sounds like you've already faced scary situations with bravery and strength so I'm sure you'll be fine.
Maybe think about the first practical tasks of your working day, whatever they might be: driving there, logging in to your PC, checking your mail - whatever - rather than thinking about having to see people and/or the overall big picture of being back at work. As with all of these things, they're usually much less painful or scary when we're actually doing them than they seemed to be in our heads beforehand.
It sounds like you're doing just fine. Don't worry about "setbacks"; if it happens, it happens. It'll just be part of your journey to recovery. Good luck :flowers:
Thanks for the replies :) and the encouragement. Just taken another big step in the fact i'v just walked around town for the first time in months :) Ok glasping on to the mrs for dear life for the most part of it and feeling really spaced out :) and i feel absoloutly cream crackered now. But i think works the major hurdle now as you have said, i dont want people pileing around me asking how i am or what was up with me. I'm lucky enought to be working when i go back with someone who has battled this for 5 years now. And to be honest he was the last person i would have thought would have suffered in this way.
To be honest without this site i'd probably still be locked away on a daily basis in our bedroom. I really can not tell you just how much this place has helped me out in facing and fighting the anxiety.
Fingers crossed i'm almost there :)
Thanks again
Ken
Veronica H
04-10-08, 19:41
:yesyes: Well done Ken. I know you are apprehensive but that is only natural. I think everyone feels like that after a spell away from work no matter what the reason was. Try not to fight your feelings, accept them and give yourself time to settle in. Expect people to be interested in you on the first day. They wouldn't be a very polite bunch if they didn't ask how you are,but I don't think they will expect a long reply, a 'fine thanks', is usually enough. Let us know how it goes ken.
Best wishes
Veronica
freakedout
05-10-08, 00:50
Hi Ken,
I was very inspired by your post, as I too started having panic attacks at work. I think it will help if there are a few people who know a little bit about how you feel, for me I tried to keep it to myself then became paranoid about my nervousness and keep going to the loo etc... to escape. It is horrible, but like you say, you have already improved and I am sure you will feel a huge sense of relief when you have managed your first day.
I am sure that you will cope with it better than you expect, but who could blame you for feeling anxious about it, like Dazza says you associate work with panic. I am not too good with the advice, but I sincerely hope that it goes well for you.
Let us know how it goes,
Good Luck
Freaky
Hi Ken,
I have just gone back after 6 months off. I have done 2 weeks now, albeit on reduced hours. I am building my hours up by an hour a week. To be honest it has been quite hard, the weekend before I was due back I was in a proper state but once I got back it wasn't so bad. I really enjoyed last week!!
I have been totally honest with everyone at work about what the problem is without going into too much detail. I felt that being open would allow me to recover better as everyone could understand what was going on. Like you I am lucky enough to work with someone who has battled this for years. Until I spoke to them a couple of weeks ago I would have had no idea - in a funny way it gave me a real boost.
Your situation sounds very similar to mine and you need to recognise how far you have come. Just don't push yourself too hard. I am sure they would rather you were back at work at 70% than off work again. Allow yourself some time to get used to being back. If it gets to much in the first few days then tell them and go home early and try again the next day. There is no shame in it - you need to listen to your body - just getting back is such a positive step. Just being out the house and back at work will return some normality to life and is bound to help you.
You might slip back a bit, I have this weekend, it came out of nowhere but it is NOWHERE near as bad as it has been before and it as passing again now. Just try to remember you will have some small setbacks, it is to be expected- I keep telling myself that it is temporary and I am not going back to where I was 3 months ago and it seems to work - I think trying to stay positive is very important.
I found the nausea was bad for the first few days but forced myself to eat a banana as soon as I got in. Just being back at work seems to have improved my appetite no end, I seem to be getting back into the sort of routine I had before all this started.
If you have any Valium left they can help. I was taking 1/4 tablet before I went in for the first few days, only 0.5mg but it did help!
Most of all Good Luck :)
Firstly thanks for the replies.
Well i made it!! although i'm apsoloutly cream crackered now. I didnt sleep to well last night witch did not help. Well im not going to say it was easy, but it wasnt as bad as i expected. After dinner i was really bad for a bit, i thought my heart had stopped for some reason. I stayed with it and then realised after a couple of minutes i was still standing although i was shaking a bit, very cold and very spaced out. I then realised my heart was ok, although i had strong chest pains around the area. I seemed to calm down after a while although i was really drained but it seemed to subside.Main symptom i had throughout the day was feeling ice cold and light headed,but i feel i'm now getting there.
Going to have a nice long soak in the bath now and try and unwind some :)
Thanks so much for your support and help in getting me this far :) I carnt tell you how much you have all helped me.
Thanks
Ken
Hi Ken,
Excellent news!! :D
I'm so pleased for you mate, really I am. You've done something really brave, and also stuck with it when you were not feeling well today.
It's great to hear and it will inspire others!!
Well done - treat yourself to something nice this evening!
Well done Ken,
Excellent news. Well done for sticking it out - I really know how hard it can be so top marks to you :yesyes:
I had a bad day today and had to come home early, strangely one of my symptoms today was being ice cold all morning - perhaps it was just cold today!!
Well done again :) :) :)
Thanks again for the replys :)
Well it went okish again today :) Although i decided to put a few extra layers on today. So today rather than chills, i was clammy for the most part of the day. I'll stick with it now no matter what :) i'm almost half way through the week and i'm looking forward to just chilling out with the mrs this weekend. I can see i'v made so much progress, but i also recognise i'm still not 100% although it does fade a little each day that passes. I recognise there will probably be plenty more ups and downs in the future, but i really do feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel at long last :)
Regardless of how i am in the future, i'm going to stick around on this site and try and help others overcome it. I owe so much to this site and the people involved on here to my recovery. The support i'v received on here has been brilliant and a real god send.
Thanks so much :)
Ken
That's great news, ken. So glad you're doing so well.:) I'm sure you'll be an inspiration to others - that you can manage anxiety, and you can get back to living your life!
Veronica H
08-10-08, 15:01
:D Great news Ken. Well done for staying with it despite uncomfortable symptoms.
Best wishes
Veronica
Well i'v just finished what has been a exhausting week :) Its been one hell of a roller coaster ride, but i made it :) Yesterday was probably the worst one for me. I went to the shop first thing to get a drink for work. I picked up lucozade as i didnt see it had caffeine in it. At dinner i felt on edge alot which i found strange until i noticed that lucozade had a hell of alot of caffiene in it. Course that spent my anxiety in to overload, iregular heart, pins and needles in arm ect. Not quite a full on panic attack but it was close at one point.
Looking forward to some r&r over the weekend before i go back on monday :) I'm sure as time goes by it will come better at work and home.
Thanks again for all the support and advice :)
Ken
Well done Ken,
You got through the week. Please keep us updated - I find it really helpful seeing how other people are getting on having just gone back myself:)
Yeah i know what you mean VTI :) Reading yours helped to spur me on alot :) I hoping that people may read these stories and hopefully realise that you can become better all be it slowly. I found myself so frustrated at times and in a way angry that i couldnt just get over it in a couple of days. Its taken me a good 2 months to get where i am now and boy its been hard. But i feel stronger for it now and can manage the anxiety alot beter too.
All the best
Ken
Hiya ...Only just picked up this thread .......well done for going back 2 work ..I went back about 4 weks ago on rehab hours and boy oh boy what a shock lol .......i work in a supermarket 1 of my biggest fears lately so very tuff going bak .........there I was worrying about anxiety and all that hit me was the noise ..after being agro for 3months 2 being in a supermarket was a big shock .
i have had gud days and very bad days but I keep telling myself Im here even if anxious Im here .
How has yr 1st week gone for you ,are u working full time or reduced hours x
You have done so wel going back and even if u have a blip and feel anxious just remember its OK u can deal with it it will pass and it wont hurt you x
Oh and I learnt he hard way with lucozade lol I felt so low i was buying a bottle each day at work thinking it wud give me energy then i had breakdown and counsellor told me 2 sty away from energy drinks such as lucozade ..no wonder i was so anxious all the tym ,people dont realise just what has caffeine in x
hope u have a gud relaxin weekend m8y x
Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxxxx:yesyes:
Hi Ken,
I am going back to work tomorrow after being off for 2 weeks with anxiety. I always swore to myself that I would never have time off for stress or anything like that, and that it wasn't going to beat me, but when the doctor finally signed me off, I felt so ashamed and sent my boss text messages saying how sorry I was for letting people down. In the past when members of my family have taken time off work for stress related illness's I have always poo poohed them thinking I am stronger that would never happen to me, so when it did, i felt so ashamed and weak that I cried so much. I don't know what to do or say tomorrow as I think it is only my boss that know what is wrong with me. I have great colleagues but do not want them to know why I have been off, but I don't like lying. Everyone knows the stress I have had this year and they have all probably thought how strong I have been with coping, but its all just a lie, because I am weak. I am also so worried now that my boss will think that I will no longer be able to do my job as good as before, and I have always prided myself on my work. Please help anyone as I am worried that my worries about going back to work will bring on another attack, as am still felling quite poorly with headaches and dizziness.:unsure:
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