I'm back at work... I want to cry

[signedoffwork]

Well, after being signed off work for two weeks today I have come back to work and I think I'm in the middle of some kind of panic attack or something.

I can feel my heart racing, I feel ill in the stomach and I just want to burst into tears. I've got the feeling of everything crashing down on me. My email is bursting and there is all this work to catch up on. All I really want to do is still just be at home.

However, I've forced myself in today because I know if I don't go back then I will never go back. I am looking for a new job by the way so hopefully that may help things.

But just being here for fourty minutes or so feels as if I haven't been away. Everything is still the same. It's still the same crud. I'm still reacting the same. I really just want it to end. I hate feeling this way.

:weep:

[LeeBee]

Hi signedoff, sorry you're having a bad morning. Were you signed off work with stress/anxiety? If so, have you had any treatment for it?

[CONS]

I sympathise with you,

being in any job you dont like is bad enough but with anx added into it, thats gotta be hard. Plow through as best you can and if it gets too much leave (unless your financially dependant on this job, which again i would sympathise with you for) for home and rest up.

Try breathing exercises and see if it eases up,

ball really is in your court on this one,

CONS

[Dazza]

hiya

sorry to hear how you are feeling. glad that you have messaged us to let us know.

if you want to cry, then cry - it is a good release of all those pent up emotions. maybe tht is what making u panic, not the work, but the emotions tht it's brining up. try to let yourself cry - it really helps me when i feel like that.

don't put pressure on yourself to do everything..if emails don't get done, they don't get done. it's not the end of the world.

you've come so far by gettiing back to work. you are so brave and confident to have done that.

Good luck with the day. keep talking to us. we are here for you.

[titchjd]

Hiya hun hope u are ok ......Ive just gone bak 2 work after nearly 3months off and It's not easy but it is the 1st step ....just sit at desk and breathe slowly in and out and say 2 yrself it will pass ...even if u have 2 do this 20 times a day then do it ...with time you will automatically start 2 relax and breathe when u feel the panic come on .

If you are sitting in front of a screen do box breathing where u breathe in counting 2 3 moving eyes up left side of screen hold breathe 4 3 across top of screen and breathe out counting 3 down right hand side of screen and relax and repeat x .....hope u understood that haha xxxx

good luck with rest of day xxxxx
titchjd xxxxxxxxx

[signedoffwork]

I've got to have a meeting with my bosses today at twelve to discuss things.

However, I've just had a brief word with the big boss and I can't help but think I'm being pushed out and with good reason!

I work in a uni and I've just been told that the two programmes I look after I will no longer be looking after they will be looked after by a temp. I will be given two smaller programmes. I said to him it's not that I can't do the job I've been telling you guys for the past twelve months it's way too much work for one person (and there is the issue of bullying).

So I don't know what to think. Am I being pushed???? I think so.

[signedoffwork]

And I can't help but think taking these two weeks off was just the excuse they have been looking for even thought they've had nothing to complain about in the past.