Wedding invite

[spotty socks]

Hello
I have been invited to a wedding of an old childhood friend. She was one of the witnesses when i got married . We have know each other since we were 11. We have kept in touch via cards, letters and the odd text.
She is getting married not far from where i live and she is desperate for me to be her witness. I am so anxious , her family will be there and i have not seen them for years. When i want to hide they will want me to talk, I won't know what to say. I am getting the shakes just thinking about it. I don't want to go , if it was anyone else i could say no . help i don't know how to handle this.
Spotty socks

[Patty]

Hi Spotty Socks,:)

I can so understand how you're feeling about going to the wedding when you say:

'When I want to hide they will want me to talk, I won't know what to say. I am getting the shakes just thinking about it. I don't want to go...'


I would get feelings like this as well if I have to go anywhere where I'll have to talk to people. It can be so difficult - I have found that all the worrying beforehand can be even worse than going to the event. It's all the what if this or that (thinking of the worst that could happen & the dread).

There are times that it would be so much easier not to go to these events that cause so much worry. The positive side of going is knowing that you managed it - even when you felt anxious about it.

I have went to a couple of things recently that I thought I wouldn't be able to manage at all - not knowing what to say etc.. But I actually managed o.k when I got there.

I'm sorry I can't offer you any advice - I just wanted to let you know I can understand how you're feeling.

You can do it!! :yesyes: :yesyes:

Best wishes xx :bighug1:

[samc100]

Patty is right in that the worry is often worse than the situation.

I try to break down events into little bits in my head.
E.g
1. the journey there - done that have a pat on the back.
2. Met everyone at the venue and smiled and nodded. Done that - another pat on the back.
etc. etc. etc. until the entire day is done with. And usually half way through my mental list of back patting I start to enjoy myself.

Patty is right - the feeling of "I have done this" is such a boost for the ego - even if you have lots of panic attacks when there.

I'd also be honest with your friend and say you'd love to be there but you feel nervous about it. So they are aware of how you feel and won't expect you to making conversation with Great Aunt Maud.


Hugsxxx

[spotty socks]

Thank you , i will let you know how it goes , the wedding is on the 18th oct. I am going to get my support worker to show me where the venue is in hope that knowing where i am going will help a bit. I am so scared. I have already thought of my excuse to leave the wedding celebrations early ( i got to feed my pony).
Thank you for your kind support
Spotty Socks

[davidthegnome]

I had the same problem recently with a cousin's wedding. I was determined not to go, right up until the last minute when my younger sister came to pick me up. She won't take no for an answer.

It didn't turn out as I had thought it would, everyone was focused on the bride and groom, or on their own little circles, for conversation. My only advice is not to go alone. If you can take a friend or a relative with you, you will probably be more comfortable and not feel so anxious and out of place.

Good luck to you. Things rarely turn out as unpleasantly as we expect them to.

[spotty socks]

Well I went , and it was scary. I tried to stay out the way so that nobody spoke to me but was unsucessful. At the reception there was a sit down meal and i felt totally out of my depth sitting around the table. I did go, and i did not let my friend down by not going , but it is not somthing i want to do again in a hurry. Thank you all for your advice and support.
Spotty socks

[Patty]

Hi Spotty Socks,:)

I am so pleased for you that you went to the wedding. Well done!!:yesyes: :yesyes:

Best wishes xx :bighug1: