my situation

[Monkey82]

Not sure what I'm hoping for here really, but here is where I am. Now 26 and realised life has passed me by. Never really been social didn't keep in contact with the few people I was kind of friends with when I left school and never really made any new ones. Did mix a little with work colleagues at first job but often found so panicked and anxious before going out I would frequently bottle out and not go, always felt better once I had made the decision not to go. Anyway after having joined a climbing centre a little over a year ago (took nearly six months after finding it to actually get myself to go along) have finally over the last month or so been seeing people outside of organised sessions. Still get really worked up for days before hand but usually feel good when i'm there. Problem is it makes me feel really rotten in between when not doing anything, I know they all have other friends they see and it gets me down that I don't. I know what I really need is a solid group of close friends I can depend on, talk to, go see. I know making friends like this will take time, I just feel impatient, now I've started to make some progress I want it all and I want it now. I think things may get better when university is finished, am doing part time course so only one day a week (working the rest of the week) but needs a lot of my other time which at the moment I would much rather spend doing other things. Ok I've kind of rambled on a bit, could keep going but that may do for now. Feels kind of good to put it down here, get it out a bit somewhere that seems relatively safe.

[Patty]

Hi Monkey82,:)

I have also found that panic & anxiety can make social situations difficult.

Well done on joining the climbing centre & doing the university course & working as well! :yesyes:


Best wishes :D

[Monkey82]

Thanks for reply Patty
I think the climbing centre may have saved me, had no social interaction with other people up till then. Also showed me what I'd missed so made me want to sort myself out, does tend to get me down when I think of the yeats I've wasted though. I enjoy mixing with people when I get there, to be honest I go for that more than the climbing. It can just be real hard to get myself to go, will hopfully get better with time.

[bluegreen]

Stick with it mate, you're on the right track. It's taken you a while to get here, why not congratulate yourself on what you've done so far? You've taken your own steps to improve things - well done! There's no need to rush a thing.

At 26 you have plenty of time to meet new people - years and years. Most people take that for granted. You I think, will appreciate it a lot more.

Great to hear the positives in your story. Go steady. Best of luck!

[Allye]

Hey Monkey sounds like you are doing really well.

How about doing some voluntary work. There are so many opportunities - I found it great as part of my recovery - gave me some confidence back - also good for meeting new people.

Take care
Allye

[Monkey82]

Thank you for encouragement, it means a lot.
I guess I'm kind of lucky in that I know what I want now, I just have to make myself go for it. I think once university is over things will be easier. I find it really difficult to concentrate on more than one thing at a time. I know I’d like to concentrate on other things right now but having completed 6 years with only 1 left I need to push on with this.
bluegreen I know your right I have got plenty of time. I just feel older and like I’m so far behind sometimes and wish I had taken action sooner. Now I’ve made a start I want it all and feel really impatient which doesn’t help.
Voluntary work is a good idea Allye, once university is over and I have some time back will defiantly look into this.

[Sibarker]

Hi monkey. I totally understand what your going through mate, although i am quite alot younger than you are i worry about the future and stuff like that alot. i recently left university because i could not handle living out in another city as because of my anxiety it has made me very dependant on being around my family and close to home...

In the meantime i am currently scanning through potential jobs and trying to get my life on track with education and work.

Also, good to here about the climbing. I often found myself stuck at home and not going out anywhere, and also bottling out of invitations to go to the pub of wherever... Which as you say does make you feel good in the short term. I go to a football practise with a group of local lads on a monday night to get some exercise which also does make me feel good.

So all i'm saying really mate is you are NOT alone, and there are plenty of people here in the same sort of situation that offer great support!

Cheers