Miscarriage

[buttercup123]

I have Health Anx and I have been about 90% well for a few months now, and I recently got married back in May and my husband and I were then trying for a baby.
I got pregnant and then at 6 weeks I had some mild bleeding, they sent me for an ultrasound and they said everything was okay.
Then a few days later I had a bigger bleed and I went to the doctors who said as long as I hadn't passed any clots I had not miscarried but they call a bleed like that a 'threatened miscarriage' and he arranged for me to have another scan.
I went for a scan and they said the baby's heartbeat had gone but the pragnancy sac and the foetus was still inside me. They gave me three options, one was to go home and wait for my body to reject the baby and have a full miscarriage, but that could take a couple of weeks, the other option was for them to give me some tablets to dissolve the lining of my womb and force a miscarriage, and the other was the surgical option, which was to basically suck it out of me.
I panicked at the time and went for the surgical option as I didn't feel I could cope with seeing it all coming out of me, and it's supposed to be really painful and heavy bleeding anyway.
But now I keep thinking what if they made a mistake and the baby was still alive and I basically chose to have an abortion.
I can't cope with the thought and I keep thinking it was my fault because before I found out I was pregnant I was eating things I wasn't supposed to and smoking and drinking, and what if I damaged it in the process, but I didn't know I was pregnant.
And then I saw this girl in the supermarket who had a toddler who was running around in dirty clothes and she was swearing at it to come back and it really upset me, because it made me feel like she didn't care about her child and we wanted this so badly and it gets taken away from us.
The day the hospital discharged me there was a girl on the gynae ward who had come in to have an abortion, she only looked about 15, and I know everyone makes mistakes in their life but I felt like saying to her, do you know what you're doing? I wanted my baby so badly and it got taken from me and there's this girl who would porbably have had a prefect pregnancy and she was choosing to throw it away.
I haven't slept in about 5 nights cuz I lie awake at night thinking irrational thoughts.

Jo x

[joyce1980]

You have been through a very traumatic time, you must see a phsychiatrist to work through this, you must.

None of this was your fault, please see a phsychiatrist so you can get better and have that family you have always wanted, you deserve it,

[dee211]

ive had this happen to me twice , both times i went for a scan and no heart beat, sac and baby intact,i had no bleeding,and both times i chose to let nature take its course, yes it is painful and heavy bleeding, and you must have made the right choice for yourself, i also felt like you when you see the children and people you mentioned,when i had my first miscarriage i still hadnt lost the baby but had been for the scan when my sister gave birth to her 3rd son ,i remember holding him and thinking my babys dead but he is here how unfair , by then she had 4 children , i had my son ,each time i lost the babys i brought a little bear , and they are my reminders, as ididnt get any scan pictures , in my mind thats my reminder , of them and gives me peace of mind that i just didnt forget them.
you do need to talk to someone about your feelings whether it be a friend or some one on here or a health worker.
i also blamed myself for loosing the babys, but it wasnt my fault nor was yours your fault, its natures way of saying something wasnt right wtih them, when i hadmyson i didnt realise i was pregnant and had been out and got plastered ,i was smoking ,my son is a normal healthy 11 year old so please dont think you did anything wrong .take care and feel free to pm me anytime xx

[LeeBee]

It sounds like you are having a very natural and understandable response to a very traumatic event. As Joyce says, you really should ask for help to get through this, have you spoken to your GP in the first instance? Perhaps they can refer you. Very best wishes.

[amandaj]

hi sorry for your loss i know exactly how you feel it happened to me last august , i didnt opt for the surgery but i wish i had done now ,its a very difficult emotional time if you want to talk about it you can always pm me

[KAREN L]

This happened to me about 7 years ago. I felt the same - what happened if they made a mistake i should of insisted on a second scan!
I guess it's just natures way and maybe things were not right with my baby.
I now have two beautiful children and feel very blessed.

You must try and get on with your life and not blame yourself - it wasn't your fault.

Take care

Karen
x

[Lissy43]

Misscarage is a very traumatic time, it took me a very very long time to get over it.

I suffered a mc at 6 weeks like yourself and luckily I passed the baby in one night and didn't require any further treatment which I guessed made it easier but I soon felt very depressed and anxious. I was also blaming myself and others around me, its natural to feel angry and upset, its a loss no matter what anyone else says to you.

Do not blame yourself, these things happen for a reason not because of anything you have done.