Mudskipper
09-10-08, 13:00
Over the past year or so I've had a number of attacks, resulting in some rather irrational behaviour and impulses:
1. Smashed up a £500 laptop because I was convinced someone had infiltrated it and installed stuff which shouldn't be there.
2. Became convinced someone was watching me with an intent to do me harm. This culminated in many afternoons spent walking on the hills alone so that "they" would have the opportunity to get it over with.
3. Sabotaged a piece of equipment at work which I was convinced was making me ill.
4.Contemplated buying a massive 4x4 to protect my family in the event of a serious accident, as seen on some television programme. No way I could afford to run it, let alone buy it, but that didn't stop me visiting dealerships, car lots etc and getting involved.
5. Contemplating uprooting my wife and kids and moving house and job, just because the area where I live has quite a few military installations and I'm worried about terrorist activity.
Got to thinking about them earlier and wondered whether this is an extreme reaction to anxiety or maybe a precursor to some more worrying mental condition, psychosis perhaps? On the bright side, I've come through them all, except the last one which is still bothering me, and I'm still here but it gets exhausting after a while, just wondering what's going to hit next. I've got as far as being assessed at the local psychiatric unit but they felt I was too well-grounded in reality to be a danger to myself or anyone else, so refused to take me on as a client. Maybe they were just over-stretched...:unsure:
1. Smashed up a £500 laptop because I was convinced someone had infiltrated it and installed stuff which shouldn't be there.
2. Became convinced someone was watching me with an intent to do me harm. This culminated in many afternoons spent walking on the hills alone so that "they" would have the opportunity to get it over with.
3. Sabotaged a piece of equipment at work which I was convinced was making me ill.
4.Contemplated buying a massive 4x4 to protect my family in the event of a serious accident, as seen on some television programme. No way I could afford to run it, let alone buy it, but that didn't stop me visiting dealerships, car lots etc and getting involved.
5. Contemplating uprooting my wife and kids and moving house and job, just because the area where I live has quite a few military installations and I'm worried about terrorist activity.
Got to thinking about them earlier and wondered whether this is an extreme reaction to anxiety or maybe a precursor to some more worrying mental condition, psychosis perhaps? On the bright side, I've come through them all, except the last one which is still bothering me, and I'm still here but it gets exhausting after a while, just wondering what's going to hit next. I've got as far as being assessed at the local psychiatric unit but they felt I was too well-grounded in reality to be a danger to myself or anyone else, so refused to take me on as a client. Maybe they were just over-stretched...:unsure: