View Full Version : Alcohol Problems - Post Here
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
09-10-08, 20:11
Hello,
I am an alcoholic, soon due for my second detox.
I am surprised there isn't an alcohol problems section here as, I have found that it quite often goes hand in hand with anxiety etc.
If you want to know more about my problems I started a thread here:
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=31373
It's a long thread but may be worth a read. (Not completely on topic)
I thought I would start a thread on this subject as I have been contacted by quite a few people suffering with the same illness.
Please feel free to contribute, whether you are suffering now, or a recovering alcoholic.
Please keep on topic on this thread.
Any questions I will be happy to answer or I am sure many others can answer.
No one will be judged, we all want to help on here, I have some good friends on here that have supported me 100% and not judged me one bit!
Also partners of alcoholics are free to post as you also suffer.
If I have missed anything on this post I will come back and edit.
Regards,
Wayne
you havent missed anything ,i for one will be talking on this post ,youve helped me no end past cpl of days ,and a big thank you to you , your a brave person wayne
amanda
Hiya ....I drink way 2 much and Im hoping 2 get it sorted out.....It does effect my anxiety greatly so really want 2 stop but I now i have 2 do it gradually x
will keep an eye on this post 4 any advice or tips xx
Thanx
Ive been drinking too much too, it has been the only way i could cope with the symptoms of anx...especially at night, but as we all know it just makes it much worse.
Ive been part of waynes origionl thread started in june, and since talking to him and seeing what he has to go through, ive cut down my drinking so much. I was becoming very dependent on vodka, but now thats slowly changing.
Its brilliant to see this thread on here at last, and as he' said he will be sharing his detox on here for anyone who wants to go through it with him.
Good luck wayne
cathy xxx :hugs:
Hi,
I totally understand where you are coming from here. I drink far too much in a week, it does vary but when I am in the house on my own it is def worse. Sometimes it does not bother me and sometimes I count the hours till it is a respectable time to have a glass of wine. I am not sure if that classes me as an alcoholic?????
I do not know if this affects my anxiety for the worse, it does however seem to take away the arm, leg and chest pain for a while, although I do know this is not the idea, and shoould not make me do it.
Trixi
xxxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
09-10-08, 23:09
Hi Guys,
Many thanks for getting this thread up and running.
Trixi,
I would say that if you count the Hours before you can have a drink you may have a problem.
Also I must stress that detox can be a scary thing, I was scared before my last one and when I was told I would be heavily sedated and may have to be escorted to the Toilet I was worried.
But I can tell you it was nothing like that at all, you do feel a little spaced out but are completely aware of whats what and I was fine going to the toilet on my own! LOL
Hospital detox was like prison and the only things you look forward to are the meds time, meal times and fag breaks (If you smoke!)
This time I was granted a Home detox due to my anxiety, I so need it soon!
I will be posting here during my detox and reporting on progress and how it is and how I feel.
Wayne
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 07:45
Morning,
Its 7.45am and I will have to have a drink to stop my shaking in a mo, first swig makes me reach but need to for the withdrawel symptoms.:weep:
Also while I think of it, just to let you all know if anyone pm's me, I will not mention anything about what has been said or your name in this open forum.
Wayne
Hi Wayne,
Just wanted to say hi really and ask how you are, I hope you're ok.
I know how difficult it can be having a drinking problem. I've also needed to detox whilst in hospital/rehab and it was one of the most difficult things I've had to do in my life.
My dad is an AA Counsellor, he has been into rehab 6 times, last time lucky and hasn't touched a drop since, I'm right behind him.
Hoping you're well.
Feel free to pm if you like.
:flowers:
Wayne,
Sorry, I've think you've just posted this morning, ignore me if i'm wrong. I'm quite confused lately and not feeling very well.
I'm sorry you're struggling, it's one of the hardest things in life to tackle.
Am right behind you mate, here if you need. Will try and help support you all the way.
Take good care.
:hugs:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 08:46
Hiya, Katie I assume?
Thanks for your post and thoughts.
Last detox wasn't as bad as I thought, The drugs they give do work and take away the withdrawel symptoms. The hardest part about doing it in Hospital was being away from my Wife.
Also was in a mental ward so alcohol detoxers were mixed with people with other mental problems, and believe me, there was a few that were quite ill. The noise they made drove me crazy!!
Glad you and your Dad are ok, and good for him helping out in AA!
Stay in touch,
Wayne
wayne
i just wanted to say good luck with the detox....i wish you well, you sound like a poitive determined man,....i can only imagine how hard it is for you and your family, so i think you are brave to be so open and honest......
my thoughts are with you
dawny xxxxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 09:32
Thanks Dawny for your kind words.
The guy from Alcohol unit that my GP refered me to earlier this Year, visited me last Wednesday and said Home detox will be about 7-10 Days away, its now 9 Days and not heard nothing yet.
My Wife wants me to phone and chase it, but due to the extent of my anxiety I don't like phoning anyone, I hate it.
But I am fading away now and need this detox Yesterday!! just feel so ill.
Wayne
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 11:22
Just a little tip for anyone that wants to quit without a detox programe.
I know some may not want to see a gp about this problem.
Depending on what dependancy stage you are at, try and reduce the amount you are drinking slowly.
Never stop dead, if you are at a serious stage as I am, you will get evil symptoms and risk causing yourself brain damage.
If you drink say 3 litres a Day, reduce by 100mls a Day, measure it out and that way your body will not go into shock.
I tried that and got down to 1 litre a Day from 3, but crept up again hence needing detox, can't do it without the medication now.
Not sure if that helps but any advice I can give I will.
Wayne
Hi wayne, thats great advice for anyone at that level of alcohol consumption. As ive said before, my intake would have gone on increasing if not for your story.
As you know from your other thread, ive cut right back and even abstained completely over the last few days. However, after 2 nights of sleeping (reasonably) well without a drink before bedtime, last night i did have a small vodka.
There was just about enough left in the bottle for a pub-sized double but because I cant drink it neat and not having anything to mix it with, i decided to mix it with a some white wine we had in the fridge and drank it that way :lac:
They say never mix the grape with the grain and it didnt exactly ticke my taste buds, but im happy to report that i didnt crave another...an empty vodka bottle would have made me very nervous at one time :scared15: and am not feeling particularly bothered about buying a new bottle now either.
So, ok i gave in and had a nightcap last night, but im fairly confident that with the recent turnaround in my attitude to it all, again thanks to your help, i think i can manage to stick to the occasional glass of wine with a meal without too much damage....watch this space :D xxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 12:18
Thats brill Cathy, sounds like you are in control, a double vodka at bedtime will not hurt you at all.
When I say I am on 3 litres a Day, it's Country Manor wine at 7.5%, I get a box a Day.
But if on spirits at 40% then reduction plan will need to be different.
I don't touch spirits anymore, just too strong for me, used to have a whiskey when out, alongside pints of lager as lager dont really touch me.
When I was in detox last time someone else there was on 3 litres of vokda a Day, that is hell of alot!
I don't know how anyone can drink that much in a Day! I think half a litre and I would pass out! lol
Wayne
Hiya I drink a bottle of red wine a night 13% and Im seeing a counsellor about it Wednesday ,....I have also been told not 2 stop straight away and to reduce my amount each night .
I hope you are feeling ok 2 day Wayne and I wish yu all the best x
Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 13:53
Hiya,
I don't know who told you to just stop, not sure if you mean reduce and stop or just stop dead?
It all depends on the withdrawel symptoms, there are about 4 types of dependancies and I am the worst stage of it.
If I stop dead, by Day 3 I would be shaking to almost point of fitting, hot and cold sweats, Seeing things, hearing things, bad nightmares, difficulty in sleeping. there were a few more but can't remember them now.
When I was referred to the Leicster alcohol unit, the guy I saw said what ever you do don't stop, took 10 Weeks from seeing GP to detox.
I would suggest like I said earlier by reducing the amount slowly, measure it out and reduce say 50mls a Day and by end of week you should be clear.
Thanks for your kind words, not too bad now, had about a litre and starting to feel a bit better.
Wayne
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 13:54
Hiya I drink a bottle of red wine a night 13% and Im seeing a counsellor about it Wednesday ,....I have also been told not 2 stop straight away and to reduce my amount each night .
I hope you are feeling ok 2 day Wayne and I wish yu all the best x
Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxx
ok, just noticed you changed what you said about reducing, so ignore what I said about that, it is right to reduce and not just stop.
or id that what you said and I read it wrong? thats what drink does to you, makes you feel like your going mad!
Wayne
Hiya, Katie I assume?
Thanks for your post and thoughts.
Last detox wasn't as bad as I thought, The drugs they give do work and take away the withdrawel symptoms. The hardest part about doing it in Hospital was being away from my Wife.
Also was in a mental ward so alcohol detoxers were mixed with people with other mental problems, and believe me, there was a few that were quite ill. The noise they made drove me crazy!!
Glad you and your Dad are ok, and good for him helping out in AA!
Stay in touch,
Wayne
Lol :lisa:- You made me laugh when you mentioned you needed to detox on a Mental Health Ward. I sure can believe you regarding the very ill and that the noise drove you crazy !!
Afew years back I had to stay on a Psychiatric Ward for 4mths, I think it did me more harm than good :unsure: . I'm sure i'm not quite the same person :doh: . I had to detox whilst I was also suffering from a break down after a trauma.
Wasn't pleasant, I still have nightmares about the place :ohmy: . They wouldn't bloody let me out !!! lol. I wasn't even allowed to pee by myself :blush: .
Happy to tell you that i'm over that illness and trauma now though,.. Never will I be going back to one of those again !! :huh:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 14:34
Oh Katie it was not right place for detoxees.
Quite sad, as there was one guy in there and apparently fell asleep and dropped a fag and the House was on fire, the rest of his family were killed, he got out somehow.
Really sad, he came to the door of his room, and shouted "Someone let me out of here" and "I feel like I'm falling" thats all you heard from morning till Night.
He will die in there, very ill.
Well I could pee on my own, but wasnt allowed out of Ward for first 3 Days, although visitors could come and see me, then after 3 Days could only go out for 45 mins at a time, then had to report to desk, then can go out for another 45 mins etc.
Wayne
afternoon wayne as you know im in middle of decideing if i want a dettox not yet decided supposed to be on a reduction but that aint worknig very well with me , think im waiting noiw for reassurance when you have yours hope your well today
amanda
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 14:56
afternoon wayne as you know im in middle of decideing if i want a dettox not yet decided supposed to be on a reduction but that aint worknig very well with me , think im waiting noiw for reassurance when you have yours hope your well today
amanda
Amanda,
I don't know when mine will start, but I will post everyday through it, it is not as bad as you think, you can't miss your chance to do it.
When taking librium you wont feel like a drink and will not have symptoms, first Night is a little restless but fine after that.
What are you scared of? is it the fact of being sedated? or chance of fitting?
As long as you are truthful with the quantity you drink, your detox plan will work fine, within 2 days you will start to feel much better and start eating well again.
Wayne
Oh Katie it was not right place for detoxees.
Quite sad, as there was one guy in there and apparently fell asleep and dropped a fag and the House was on fire, the rest of his family were killed, he got out somehow.
Really sad, he came to the door of his room, and shouted "Someone let me out of here" and "I feel like I'm falling" thats all you heard from morning till Night.
He will die in there, very ill.
Well I could pee on my own, but wasnt allowed out of Ward for first 3 Days, although visitors could come and see me, then after 3 Days could only go out for 45 mins at a time, then had to report to desk, then can go out for another 45 mins etc.
Wayne
Oh yep sure, I also saw some very sad cases too.
That poor man, that's terrible. Very sad. I used to be in tears because people used to take their own lives, some that I became good friends with, whilst in stay. I saw afew people go.
The main reason why I was there is because I no longer wanted to live and i'd lost in touch with reality after seeing my mum get knocked down and killed by a car, I didn't even know who I was for the first month.
I regulary think of some of those poor people and think at how lucky I am to now be at home and well with my two young children and partner.
It's made me appreciate how lucky and precious our lives really are.
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 15:02
So sorry to hear about your mum, must of been awful and I am sure still is for you.
I was in a room in that ward where men had to be checked every half hour as they were a suicidal risk, just awful, when I was given ok to leave, one guy in bed opposite me cried,as I talked to him and he was scared who will be in my bed after me next to him.
Larry his name is, hope your ok Larry, nice fella.
Wayne
So sorry to hear about your mum, must of been awful and I am sure still is for you.
I was in a room in that ward where men had to be checked every half hour as they were a suicidal risk, just awful, when I was given ok to leave, one guy in bed opposite me cried,as I talked to him and he was scared who will be in my bed after me next to him.
Larry his name is, hope your ok Larry, nice fella.
Wayne
Ahhh, dear Larry. I hope he's now well.
Yep, I was on constant watch for quite sometime, I needed a room to myself, I wasn't allowed to use the toilet for the first few days or more, I had a pan next to my bed, no furniture or even curtains, just a flat pillow and one sheet. A nurse had to sit outside my room with the door open, was horrible. This is when I had no idea who I was. Very strange and scary, I have to look back and try and laugh now though, I have to, else I don't think i'd be able to get through what actually happened if that makes sense. My only way.
Anyway,..Chin up Wayne,.. I honestly haven't meant to depress you.
Hope you're ok. x
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 15:19
No you ain't depressed me any more than I already am! lol
we are all here to help each other.
That Larry said to me a couple of times, Wayne I am going to hang myself from the curtain pole!
I said, dont be daft it will fall down before that works! LOL was always talking to him, he just sat in chair next to his bed and stared at nothing, couldnt eat hardly anything as had probs with teeth.
When we all went out on fag trips (there was certain times staff take out the smokers about 6 times a day) Larry would just start crying, he thought poeple in there wanted to kill him, really sad.
Wayne
No you ain't depressed me any more than I already am! lol
we are all here to help each other.
That Larry said to me a couple of times, Wayne I am going to hang myself from the curtain pole!
I said, dont be daft it will fall down before that works! LOL was always talking to him, he just sat in chair next to his bed and stared at nothing, couldnt eat hardly anything as had probs with teeth.
When we all went out on fag trips (there was certain times staff take out the smokers about 6 times a day) Larry would just start crying, he thought poeple in there wanted to kill him, really sad.
Wayne
Dear Larry. I too became very paranoid and thought people there wanted to kill me, after I was allowed out of my room. Which was after about a month or so. I remember, that I kept on saying to them, "If i'm going to die, I'll need to end things myself, you have no right to kill me" :unsure: and used to cry.
After afew months, I became much better and was allowed out onto the grounds, I met a guy there who was going through similar emotions. We still talk now. I wanted to keep in touch with many others, but I was told to let them go,.. unfortunately those people I don't think will ever recover.
Love to them all.
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
10-10-08, 15:40
I know, in detox, you were not allowed to go back after and visit anyone.
I got friendly with a few in detox who was going through the same thing, and one guy I kept in touch with didnt live far, after a few Days after coming out I invited him over for dinner with us and to crash for the Night, when I went to pick him up he was p****d.
Still came back but was clearly on drugs too, dropped him back next Day and had to cut the friendship as I couldnt be friendly with someone p****d when I was trying to stay sober!
Shame as he was a pleasant guy, also sung and played the giutar! LOL
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
I know, in detox, you were not allowed to go back after and visit anyone.
I got friendly with a few in detox who was going through the same thing, and one guy I kept in touch with didnt live far, after a few Days after coming out I invited him over for dinner with us and to crash for the Night, when I went to pick him up he was p****d.
Still came back but was clearly on drugs too, dropped him back next Day and had to cut the friendship as I couldnt be friendly with someone p****d when I was trying to stay sober!
Shame as he was a pleasant guy, also sung and played the giutar! LOL
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
Yep, it is ashame but I feel you did the very best thing.
I gave a couple of girls my phone number who were detoxing from both drugs and alcohol. After sometime, they called me but were back to square one. They wanted to meet up for a night out in town. I had to cut the friendship too, they also had children and although they loved them, they couldn't fight the illness for them, which I found very upsetting.
Maybe it just wasn't their time. Hoping they are well now though, but still wouldn't want to risk going out with them if I was to see them around. It just wouldn't feel quite right. I feel I now have to surround myself with positive people as much as I can, though due to my nature, this can sometimes be pretty difficult.
You know how it is :) .
Stay strong Wayne :flowers:
Hi Wayne
I have replied on your other thread.
I can remember starting to drink again, after abstaining and saying I will just have a couple tonight. As I am sure you know that within a short space of time I was back where I started - needing that drink in the morning and then drinking until I passed out.
Whilst if you are at the stage where you will get dts it is not good idea to suddenly stop, cutting down is no good either. I drunk for many years and have spent time in the mental hospitals. I have not drunk for 23 years now.
Please stop telling people to cut down. It might be okay for somone who has not passed the line into alcoholic drinking but is no good for those who are drinking alcoholically. You are given bad advice and you are not a good example as you cannot stop your own drinking.
I stopped drinking a few times at home with valium to stop my dts but I had to stop drinking completly. You can get a home detox if you wanted.
As you know if it not just about stopping drinking it is help needed with the alcoholic mindset that you are left with. AA members who had been where I was helped me and now I council people voluntarily who have stopped drinking to stay stopped.
As you know alcoholism is a family illness and does not just affect you.
Feel free to pm me.
Sheena
hi sheena , can i just say i drink like a mad woman ,and ive been told to cut down in small doses,
in does no harm a little each night wont hurt you it will do you good as for bad advice being given id give the same as im in the same boat as wayne maybe 23 years ago was different
take care amanda
sorry spelling mishap it does no harm to stop a little, i meant to say and as for him not stopping drinking ,he is giving it a damn good try ,and i for one will be right behind him not putting him down ,as a drinker yourself in the past i feel youve been a little unfair here
I don't think I am being harsh at all. Alcohol lost me my marriage, my family, my friends and nearly my children. I led me to living in a caravan with my son for 3 years. Many hospital admissions and self detoxes. I too had the bottle on my bedside cabinet for when I awoke at 3 in the morning and also the reatching until I could get enough down too stop the shakes.
I also wallowed in self pity. If only my husband had not left me, if only my family would get in touch with me, no-body loves me. Maybe Wayne has that to come if he does not stop drinking.
My son had eight years of seeing me drinking and then being sober for a while. It reaaly messed his life. up.Wayne has shown that he has one detox and how hard it was not to pic up a drink again for us all to see in his other postings. Will another detox help him to stop? I doubt it unless he has some form of following up to help him change his alcoholic mindset.
We have an organisation here that will advise and help people who are having problems with their alcohol intake to cut down. But, others who have crossed the line into alcoholism they suggest completely stoppin drinking. I actually work with them so I well aware of the people who can cut down to a sensible amount and the ones like Wayne and myself who cannot an need the help of experts.
So Wayne what are you going to different after your next detox. I would be interested to know.
I am sorry if you think I am being tough but alcoholics are the same now as they were 20 years ago and long before that.
Sheena
I am Katie,
Wayne's wife. Firstly, I want to say on here, that I am so very proud of my husband, not only is he trying to stop drinking, having failed time and time again, but he is trying his best to help other people who may not have realized that they actually had a problem, to recognise that they do. I am also very proud that he had the guts to start this thread in the hope that he could help other people.
I have been at the angry stages with Wayne, mainly because I have already been through life with an alcoholic father (before he died at the age of 48 from his alcoholism) who was a violent alcoholic and I don't want my husband to die the same way.
I went along to the Alcohol Unit with Wayne and listening to what his keyworker had to say I realized that Wayne wasn't actually in control of himself and could not stop on his own. That moment changed my whole attitude.
He had his 1st detox and was off of the drink for a month, he was told by his keyworker that he would be able to have controlled drinks at weekends after thedetox, that at his stage in life, it was silly to expect him to never have a drink again.
Wayne started having the odd drink on a Friday and Saturday night and with a serious of stressful events soon ended up reliant on it again. He tried to get back off of it himself and got down to 1 litre a day, but once again a few events happened that soon had him reaching for more, so he contacted his keyworker and pleaded with him for a home detox, which he is desperately waiting for now. My husband is actually not the kind of drinker who drinks until he passes out. He takes a drink to stop him from having the DT's and to stop his anxious feelings from the many phobias he is currently living/coping/suffering with whilst waiting on an 18 month waiting list for CBT.
It is easy to judge a man, but until you walk in his shoes you cannot judge him.
My husband does his utmost to hide his problem from my children. He is a loving caring man and not a monster.
I believe Sheena that you did not read the thread properly if you did you would have seen that Wayne said that you could only reduce if you weren't at the later stages that he is at and by reducing he mean't reducing your way off of it. There are many people in this country that are drinking too much and do not see it as a problem until they have crossed the line into alcoholism by which time it is too late to do anything about it without medical help.
Unfortunately, this is still such a taboo subject that many people are too embarrassed to ask for help and even when they do, as Wayne finally did, they are spoken down to and treated like a piece of crap. When Wayne first asked our Dr in his 50's for help (and I went with him so I know this is factual) the Dr crossed his arms and said, well Wayne, only you can put the bottle down you and stop drinking, you pour it down your neck and the NHS to be quite honest are not interested in helping people like you - alcoholics.
The same Dr also, on a later appoinment for myself, told me not to marry Wayne because I was creating a rod for my own back. I was disgusted.
Wayne tried and tried again to stop on his own. We went 12 months going around in circles ending up in the same hell hole and did not know what to do. Then we read something on the internet telling us that he could get brain damage from trying to stop without treatment.
We then went to see a different Dr, Female, in her late 20's whose attitude was completely different. She immediately referred Wayne to the alcohol team and we waited 10 weeks for Wayne's 1st detox.
The way that you have spoken to Wayne on here Sheena, I am so glad that he is not going to AA meetings with someone like you. My husband needs help and counselling and medication for his phobias, not 'Tough Love' as you put it. The kind of 'Tough Love' we both grew up with being beaten by our parents. Unfortunately, you have a very old fashioned attitude and you are the one who will not be helping people with your advice.
I also took Wayne into CAN, as I had researched them, but we walked in the door I saw the man walk in to call someone through and he screamed his surname in a regimental way I soon walked straight back out of that door, I am not having anyone treating my husband like a piece of s h i t again.
Wayne is trying his very best to get through this and just wants to help anyone else going through anything similar, please do not stamp him down. You cannot imagine how reading that message from you just made him feel.
If there are any partners of alcoholics on here who need someone to talk to I am free to communicate
Katie
Hi I just want 2 say Wayne you carry on with your threads m8y ,I for 1 and I assume many many others want your advice and insight in drink problems .
I have just got counselling for mine and have been told not just 2 stop,and have found yr thread very very helpful .
Please PLease Please dont take Sheenas post as a knock back m8y that is just 1 persons opinion and many many others want you 2carry on ...
so chin up give yr wife abig hug and carry on posting x
Love and hugs Titch xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I understand where you are coming from. It is good that you are still at the stage where you can be compassionate with Wayne. May I say that I hid my drink from my son but it became a bit difficult when I did not have ahusband to make excuses for me like mummy is having a rest ect.
My way is not hard. I have had years of being an alcoholic and trying to stop. I could manage the stopping but like you said Wayne experienced a few set backs and started to drink again. What I am trying to get over to Wayne is that you can stop drinking but then you need help to alter your mindset to help you deal with life's downs so you do not pick up a drink.
I have spent years also, up to today workingwith alcholics so I do not think I am old fashioned. I have had training and on going training/:yahoo:
You say that your dad was an alcoholic so you know where the illness can take you. As long as Wayne continues to drink and does not address the mindset that causes him to pick a drink up again how far do you think his aloholism will take him and you and your family with you.
Be realistic, you have seen the damage alcohol can do to a person and the family, first hand.
I have just had my son and his grandchilden around. My son trusts me to look after his children when his wife goes to work. It took years for my son to believe that I would not drink again and not to look at me sideways to see what sort of mood I was in. I was never violent towards him but like your childrenthey are aware to a certain extent as to what is going on around inem.
Wake up and smell the daises before you know you could be buryin your husband or he might damage his brain to such an extent that you might find yourself visiting him in a care home.
That is all I wish to say on the matter and will not correspond anymore. I am not being horrible I am just saying as it is where I have been and the constant reminded of the people I work with.
Sheena
This thread has been a long time coming, and its a necessary link for people who have alcohol problems to share their experience. Sorry if anyone has been affected by living with an alcoholic, but if you dont like the subject, or cant give support then please dont post and make the people who do have a problem feel like crap about it.
They already know how much damage theyve done to their families and friends as well as themselves, and people like wayne are helping alot of people to stop and think, and if his story can help just one member stop drinking then i thinks thats brilliant. Nobody is forced to be part of this thread.
Cathy xxx
Just food for thought. Like I said I will not correspond again so carry on with your thread.It is very good for me to see where I could end up again and I would not wish that on my worst enemy.
Bye bye
Sheena
I am fuming ..sorry ...but reading sheenas last post I am surprised and angry so have 2 post ..
"wake up and smell the daises before you are burying your husband ".....how can you put that in a post Sheena that is so cold and hurtfull ...dont you think they know the difficulties and hurt drinking causes ....thats why we are all here 2 SUPPORT wayne and his family through this and why Wayne is offering 2 post on his thread and help others at the same time .
There are many levels of alcoholism /alcohol probs as you must know as a therapist ..we all arent drinking from morning till nyt but we have a drink problem wether its dependencey or heavy drinking or binge drinking they are all alcohol problems and Wayne has helped so much .
I just hope Wayne carries on with this thread as I so want him 2 x
Sheena what an uncaring person you are. If you cant say anything positive to support him then leave him alone. Stop answering the posts now because nobody is interested in your negativity ok? Id hate to think you were my AA 'buddy' youd frighten me to half to death! :scared15:
Anxious_gal
11-10-08, 20:46
I don't drink really, I like to be in control because of my anxiety. drinking gives me heart palpitations and makes me dizzy.
my mum uses drink, she is depressed and has anxiety. she drinks more and more every day.
she is turning into a spiteful, nasty, sad, hopeless, bitter, cruel person.
i have agoraphobia so i live with my mum. when she drinks she's very verbally abusive towards me.
it's very hard to watch her go down hill.
question, does everyone with a drinking problem turn into this mean person? is their such thing as a happy alcoholic?
milly jones
11-10-08, 21:08
well doc w, what a mixed bag of replies to ur post
i for one think its great that ur trying to help others who are suffering thru alcohol
if some ppl dont like ur help then just let their comments wash over u hunny, ur experience is far too valuable to waste, and ur compassion is too precious
im not a drinker, when things get bad i hurt myself. wish someone would help and start a post for sh.
ur doing great mate, and katie ur a star xxx
mill xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
11-10-08, 21:35
I don't drink really, I like to be in control because of my anxiety. drinking gives me heart palpitations and makes me dizzy.
my mum uses drink, she is depressed and has anxiety. she drinks more and more every day.
she is turning into a spiteful, nasty, sad, hopeless, bitter, cruel person.
i have agoraphobia so i live with my mum. when she drinks she's very verbally abusive towards me.
it's very hard to watch her go down hill.
question, does everyone with a drinking problem turn into this mean person? is their such thing as a happy alcoholic?
Hiya,
not everyone is a nasty drinker, I have been sipping drink today, just watched x-factor with my family cuddling up to my Wife, I am not p****d, I just drunk some to take away shakes.
I think there are different kinds of drinkers, and all have different cercumstances.
I am certainly not a nasty person at all.
Has your Mum been to see a GP or anything?
Happy alcoholic? NO, but doesnt have to be a bad or nasty person.
Keep posting
Wayne
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
Mishel, have you only ever known your mum with a drink problem? What i mean is, was there a time when she didnt have this problem that you can remember, and if so was she a cruel person then, or is it only the drink that makes her this way?
I dont know if you can have a happy alcoholic, i guess the nature of the addiction is that the physical symptoms...the craving and the shakes etc wouldnt really make you feel very happy at all. I think you can have a happy 'drunk' person, someone who's had a skinful at the weekend but who isnt an alcoholic. Has your mum ever tried to give up drinking?
....oops sorry, i posted at the same time as wayne, but i guess the message was more or less the same :)
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
11-10-08, 21:37
well doc w, what a mixed bag of replies to ur post
i for one think its great that ur trying to help others who are suffering thru alcohol
if some ppl dont like ur help then just let their comments wash over u hunny, ur experience is far too valuable to waste, and ur compassion is too precious
im not a drinker, when things get bad i hurt myself. wish someone would help and start a post for sh.
ur doing great mate, and katie ur a star xxx
mill xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
oh Milly,
When I was in detox last, a lovely girl was in there suffering from sh, I hope your getting on ok?
I met quite a mixture of different mental illness's in hospital, A real eye opener, I made loads of notes when I was in there. I read back on it every now and then.
Wayne
Hiya,
not everyone is a nasty drinker, I have been sipping drink today, just watched x-factor with my family cuddling up to my Wife, I am not p****d, I just drunk some to take away shakes.
I think there are different kinds of drinkers, and all have different cercumstances.
I am certainly not a nasty person at all.
Has your Mum been to see a GP or anything?
Happy alcoholic? NO, but doesnt have to be a bad or nasty person.
Keep posting
Wayne
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
I totally agree with the quote that there are different kinds of drinkers ,i think this is important as we all have different drinking habits but all can cause us problems.
i dont drink in the day and dont get any withdrwal symptoms but I cant remember the last time I didnt drink a bottle of wine at night ..and if I havent got a drink Id panic ....so Im seeing someone wednesday 2 help me out x
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
11-10-08, 22:00
Just to clarify a previous post, have bolded parts in case of misunderstandings:
Just a little tip for anyone that wants to quit without a detox programe.
I know some may not want to see a gp about this problem.
Depending on what dependancy stage you are at, try and reduce the amount you are drinking slowly.
Never stop dead, if you are at a serious stage as I am, you will get evil symptoms and risk causing yourself brain damage.
If you drink say 3 litres a Day, reduce by 100mls a Day, measure it out and that way your body will not go into shock.
I tried that and got down to 1 litre a Day from 3, but crept up again hence needing detox, can't do it without the medication now.
Not sure if that helps but any advice I can give I will.
Wayne
Hiya Wayne & Katie :),
How are you feeling tonight Wayne ?
I have read the past messages, I can't say that I could put forward any sort of constructive post, as I'm not feeling quite so well lately, anxiety wise and seem to be very confused about everything (no idea why :shrug: ). But from what I have read of Sheena's posts I will agree with something and that is the follow up after your detox, but I'm sure you're well aware of this. It is just as important as the detox itself.
I haven't asked you Wayne, do you attend AA at all ? If not, then I believe this could be brilliant for you in the way of support. I used to attend afew and then help out every now and then. And for my dad, it has been amazing, his positive outlook in life, he is now an AA Counsellor/Secretary around London. It doesn't just support you through your thoughts concerning drink, but really important positive ways of thinking throughout life. The meetings though I will say have to be consistant.
Your wife Katie seems so lovely and caring, you must feel very lucky to have such an understanding and supportive partner.
Take care and sending you positive vibes :flowers:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
11-10-08, 22:14
Hiya Wayne & Katie :),
How are you feeling tonight Wayne ?
I have read the past messages, I can't say that I could put forward any sort of constructive post, as I'm not feeling quite so well lately, anxiety wise and seem to be very confused about everything (no idea why :shrug: ). But from what I have read of Sheena's posts I will agree with something and that is the follow up after your detox, but I'm sure you're well aware of this. It is just as important as the detox itself.
I haven't asked you Wayne, do you attend AA at all ? If not, then I believe this could be brilliant for you in the way of support. I used to attend afew and then help out every now and then. And for my dad, it has been amazing, his positive outlook in life, he is now an AA Counsellor/Secretary around London. It doesn't just support you through your thoughts concerning drink, but really important positive ways of thinking. The meetings though I will say have to be consistant.
Your wife Katie seems so lovely and caring, you must feel very lucky to have such an understanding and supportive partner.
Take care and sending you positive vibes :flowers:
Hi Katie,
Yes I am aware that therapy after is very important, before I relasped I was getting a little CBT from my care worker, but obviosly things slipped again before any of it made any impact, he only visited me once every 2 or 3 weeks, and can't see AA meetings giving CBT! LOL
I will get therapy, I have been refered for CBT from GP but a Year waiting list.
One step at a time, I have all the medication I need for after detox, detox first then rest after, I aint got time to wait a Year for proper CBT.
Wayne
Hi Katie,
Yes I am aware that therapy after is very important, before I relasped I was getting a little CBT from my care worker, but obviosly things slipped again before any of it made any impact, he only visited me once every 2 or 3 weeks, and can't see AA meetings giving CBT! LOL
I will get therapy, I have been refered for CBT from GP but a Year waiting list.
One step at a time, I have all the medication I need for after detox, detox first then rest after, I aint got time to wait a Year for proper CBT.
Wayne
Ok, I understand what you're saying, though if i'm truly honest with you, I believe AA will be much better - Just my opinion. You will be surrounded by people who know, have been through it, think in similar ways,.. same boat.
But, yep sure give CBT a go, I'm not saying that it won't help you, far from it, only I do believe that you will find the strongest amount of support there, more so than anywhere else.
I agree, take a step at a time, that's all you can do. See how you go, how you feel and take it from there.
:flowers: x
Wayne what area are you from ?
I have just got in contact with an association called Lantern House ......not sure if there is 1 near you but they might be able 2 get you CBt or some after care .......They do home visits ,accupuncture and much much more for any kind of adiction inc alcoholism .
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
11-10-08, 22:29
Hiya,
I am in Northants.
I will considor AA meetings, but when you say surrounded by a group, not sure if thats the best place for someone who suffers from Agarophobia, mono phobia, social phobia to be honest. I would just have a panic attack just thinking about attending one, let alone going in.
Wayne
Hiya,
I am in Northants.
I will considor AA meetings, but when you say surrounded by a group, not sure if thats the best place for someone who suffers from Agarophobia, mono phobia, social phobia to be honest. I would just have a panic attack just thinking about attending one, let alone going in.
Wayne
Wayne,
Sure I understand. You will realise though, that many people who do attend suffer with just the same. It's all part of it.
Very scary at first without a doubt, I'm not going to deny that. But I truly think it could help you.
But as said, long way off yet,.. take baby steps and each day as it comes, that's all you can do for now.
:flowers:
Nice one Katie:hugs:
All my respect to you and love and best wishes to both of you:hugs:
Kaz x x x:hugs:
You say that your dad was an alcoholic so you know where the illness can take you. As long as Wayne continues to drink and does not address the mindset that causes him to pick a drink up again how far do you think his aloholism will take him and you and your family with you.
Be realistic, you have seen the damage alcohol can do to a person and the family, first hand.
Wake up and smell the daises before you know you could be buryin your husband or he might damage his brain to such an extent that you might find yourself visiting him in a care home.
Sheena
Yes I know the damage that this causes I have seen it first hand, which is why I helped Wayne to seek help and which is why I am compassionate with Wayne, as well as the fact that I love him. The most important thing is to support my husband through this period of his life. Do you suggest I walk out on him?!
We are not going to get the help that we need, aftercare, therapy support at the drop of a hat because we cannot afford to pay for private treatment and have to rely on NHS resources. Do you think that I sit back and enjoy watching my husband pouring that crap down his neck? I know that if he stops dead he will get brain damage and that is why I am supporting him while he waits for his detox and we will seek the care that Wayne needs when he comes off of the drink.
I will attend AA meetings with Wayne if he can bring himself to go to one. As someone yourself who I notice suffers from Agrophobia and couldn't leave your own house to even go to the Drs, Sheena as I read in an earlier post of yours, I do not know how you think that he can just walk into an AA meeting! Wayne cannot go outside of the house to put the rubbish in the bin.
Thank you everyone else on this thread for your support through this very difficult time that my husband and I are going through.:hugs:
I am hoping that 1 day we will be able to say that Wayne has abstained from alcohol for 23 years!!
Katie
xx
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/images/misc/progress.gif
Hi Katy
Yes I could not get out to AA meetings as you know I could not even open my front door. My friends, when I was able to have people in my house, came to see me. You see over the years I have built up a solid friendship base. I am still not able to attend meetings and do not whether I will be well enough to ever go back as I have a social phobia which I am hoping will get better again.
I have only recently started back, on a voluntary base to start off with, at the alcohol place I worked at. It is good to do it voluntarily as sometimes I am too anxious and panicky to get out side the door. I have my good and bad days.
I applaud you for supporting Wayne and hope that one day your lives will turn themselves around.
Best wishes
Sheena
watertheatre
12-10-08, 02:54
Hi,Wayne
Best ofluch with detox i have been off the alcoholfor 5 mnths now through willpower alone my anxiety was worse with the alcohol which i didn't realise till I stopped but now i have stopped am feeling out of my confort zone and even though on meds still am feeling very self-consious when I do go out.Hope all goes well.
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
12-10-08, 10:35
Hi,Wayne
Best ofluch with detox i have been off the alcoholfor 5 mnths now through willpower alone my anxiety was worse with the alcohol which i didn't realise till I stopped but now i have stopped am feeling out of my confort zone and even though on meds still am feeling very self-consious when I do go out.Hope all goes well.
Hiya, firstly well done for staying sober for 5 Months, thats great andI know how hard it is.
I was prescribed Trazodone Hydrochloride (anti depressants) just before I relasped and didn't get a chance to start taking them.
I should have had them ready for me when I finished my last detox and this time I am hoping they will have some effect.
At least I know I have them ready after detox.
Yes it is hard to go to certain places with the anxiety etc, when I wasnt drinking I used to take a propranolol before say going into supermarket, most of the time worked ok, other times I would have to wait in the car.
Extreme cases for instance going into a cinema I would also take diazapam, works a treat but need to be carful how often they are taken as addictive.
Anyway keep up the good work and best of luck,
Regards,
Wayne
hi wayne hope your ok today i take trazadone at night , 150mgs thats just been put up to 300 ,but i weary of taking that amount atm ,do you not have a alcohol councellor that you see? ive just been given another one just waiting for him to ring me now i saw him last year also and he was very good and understanding , katie sounds like a great person on these posts your very lucky to have her support wish it was same here for me anyway
take care
amanda
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
12-10-08, 13:23
hi wayne hope your ok today i take trazadone at night , 150mgs thats just been put up to 300 ,but i weary of taking that amount atm ,do you not have a alcohol councellor that you see? ive just been given another one just waiting for him to ring me now i saw him last year also and he was very good and understanding , katie sounds like a great person on these posts your very lucky to have her support wish it was same here for me anyway
take care
amanda
Hi Amanda,
Yes I have an alcohol counciler, he is the one that visits me from time to time, he is the one I am waiting for now to sort out the Home detox, he will visit me on Day 3 of detox as this is the crucial time when stopping for fear of fitting. He will also be advising Katie my medication dosage and what to do if something goes wrong I would imagine.
My alcohol counciler is great and very understanding, I can tell him anything and I just know he wont say something like "Pull yourself together Man!"
Have a good afternoon,
Wayne
Hi Wayne
As a lot of people on here suffer from anxiety they have felt unable to post on your thread, however, I have had a lot of pms from people who do not understand how you can help others when you are not able to help yourself ie still actively drinking alcohol.
Whilst I can understand why people think I might have been a bit harsh I do not think that I critised you.
I have goggled alcohol forums in
order that you might get some more help with your proplem and there are loads. On these you would be able to get some constructive help and also converse with people who are at the stage you are at now.
May I remember members that this forum is exclusively to share and help people with anxiety, depressiion ect. I know you suffer from these Wayne but your threads mostly consist of your struggle with alcohol. There was a member on here who talked about her struggle with anorexia and it was suggested to her that she join some eating disorders forums.
Please do not shoot me down, remember that I am a member here who also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia. I am not being horrible to Wayne, my whole object is to help him in the best way that I can.
Best wishes
Sheena
Sheena
You are not helping Wayne in any way shape or form. All you are doing is slagging him off and being Negative. People are also PMing Wayne pleading with him to continue posting.
Drinking / Alcoholism is often used by people with anxiety problems to mask there illness, it is probably what made you drink. It has a lot to do with Anxiety /Depression etc..... My feeling is that it is a very sore subject for you because it ruined your life and you are very bitter and taking it out on Wayne in this thread.
Wayne was encouraged to create a thread about this subject for other people in a similar situation so that they can all support each other.
If you don't like this thread then stay away from it, you do not have to read it or take part in it, no-one is asking for your acceptance or input.
well said katie, i am one of the people who did pm wayne for advice on dettox ,i was ashamed i was a drinker before i spoke to him id of never have opened up on a forum about it, negative people dont help us drinkers whatsoever
i think karen who was asked to look into other anorexia forums at the time was very ill and kind of not trying to help herself, unfortuantely this has been part of her life for a long time and probably would find other sites useful but at the same time she also suffers depression, anxiety self harm etc and needs this site for support in that.
wayne on the other hand, yes struggles but also puts down that he is trying very hard with support to over come this and do wot ever he can to stop drinking, dont critisize him for trying to help others not to make the same mistakes as him, he has a good support network around him here and people that have followed his story and are behind him all the way.
its great you have done wot u have to stop drinking but dont put wayne down, he has good support and will get there in wot ever way is best for him
i am sure karen wont mind me saying wot i have because she knows her situation very well and she knows i am very supportive of her and want to one day recover, same as lots of others, i am sorry karen has been bought up on this thread and should not have done in the first place as this is for alchohol but i felt the need to reply to sheenas thread.
wayne has never said the drinking was a good thing, he is desperate to get off it and get better
...and the member that sheena talks about who suffers with anorexia, that particular thread was closed down because she was saying how much she admired people who had died from starving themselves, and that upset alot of members who had been trying to help her overcome her illness. It was not closed down because of the subject of anorexia...please lets be clear about that. That particular member is very dear to us all on nmp and still posts but its a personal choice for anyone to join her thread or not.
It might be better to stay away from waynes threads sheena, and if he does only post about his own illness...alcoholism, thats because he can only help with a subject hes familiar with, and even if he has failed to stay dry so far...all the more reason to share it and let others know how bad it get be. Whats the point in replying to someone with symptoms you havent any experience of?
He has helped quite a few people to examine their drinking habits, me included, and as we all keep telling you its not compulsory to join these threads of waynes. Thought you werent gonna post about this anymore anyway, so why dont you leave those of us who want his advice in peace.
oh and if u have read all his threads he also tells of his battles with dep, anxiety, agoraphobia etc its all part and parcel of drinking so this site is great for him
well said cathy and about the karen thread, very true.
Hi Wayne
As a lot of people on here suffer from anxiety they have felt unable to post on your thread, however, I have had a lot of pms from people who do not understand how you can help others when you are not able to help yourself ie still actively drinking alcohol.
Whilst I can understand why people think I might have been a bit harsh I do not think that I critised you.
I have goggled alcohol forums in
order that you might get some more help with your proplem and there are loads. On these you would be able to get some constructive help and also converse with people who are at the stage you are at now.
May I remember members that this forum is exclusively to share and help people with anxiety, depressiion ect. I know you suffer from these Wayne but your threads mostly consist of your struggle with alcohol. There was a member on here who talked about her struggle with anorexia and it was suggested to her that she join some eating disorders forums.
Please do not shoot me down, remember that I am a member here who also suffers from anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia. I am not being horrible to Wayne, my whole object is to help him in the best way that I can.
Best wishes
Sheena
Well again I disagree sorry but saying you have people saying Wayne cant help because he still drinks is like saying if u have anxiety you cant help any1 until its gone or if u are depressed you cant give support untill its gone ..Thats just crazy .....
Also thanx 4 the reminder of what this forum is about as Im so stupid Id forgot ......Do you realise that a main problem with anxiety sufferers are the addictions they have ....so waynes issue is just as valuable on here as anywhere else .......I dont mean 2 sound harsh but I know u have overcome it and that is fantastic and it must have been very hard but I think you should just leave Waynes thread alone 2 let him do it his way and for us 2 decide wether we ask him for help .
This is not helping Wayne at all and think we should all get back 2 concentrating on Waynes thread and not make It Sheenas Thread .
very well said titch hun, let wayne now concentrate on helping people his way. lets draw a line.
================================================== =
I was very discreet in not mentioning who I was talking about but however someone has mentioned her name.
So, Wayne what about have a look around the alcohol forums that you can goggle that I am sure will give you some help.
You might enjoy being concooned by all your females supporters who are not helping you in any what way. They just seem to enjoy slagging me off without mentioning the alcohol forums I suggested you frequent. Do you have a voice, Wayne, because I have not had a reply from you yet?
It's no use sitting there waiting for your detox without trying some other avenues like the alcohol forums. Also, there are meetings that are called open where your wife can stay with you. Also if you rung the AA Helpline they would be only to happy to arrange for someone to come to your house.
I really don't know why people are slagging me off when I seem to be the only person of this thread who is trying, contructively to help,
Wayne.
Sheena
right it was very obvious who u was talking about to anyone thats been on here for a while and no one is slagging u off, we just think u r being very critical and hard and pushy.
we all think u have done great getting through your problems but u cannot expect everyone to be like you.
NO ONE is slagging u off
Do have a voice, Wayne? It would be good to hear from you to see what you think of my suggestion on looking at the alcohol forums on the net.
Come on be a man and try to do something constructive about you alcohol problem before you go to detox.
Sheena
sheena u have said enough, u have said wot u needed to, you posts sound so very sarcastic and pushy. if waynes thread bothers u so much please do not read it.
it seems obviouly still a very sore subject for you so mayb u better off not reading it, u r a strong person overcoming drink like u did so mayb leave it there with waynes thread.
u sound like a bully and thats not nice
what a shame Sheena that you feel the need 2 push on with this even though you are very aware of how Wayne feels and also us so called female supporters ..come on how childish .......rather than wayne be a man u be the proffesional woman you say you are and leave this thread well alone .
Do you have a voice, Wayne?
Sheena
no im not helping wayne as i dont know how to help myself sheena really, but i tell you one thing he has helped me no end, and im sorry you feel so uptight about people who drink ,i guess its like being a smoker then giving up there the worse for telling people to quit and not helping either that was just an example of what your like atm sheena im not actually sure what your problem is maybe its cos you got help to late but then dont take it out on the other alcoholics in this world, and as for aa when i rang them they was not helpful one bit ,a alcohol councellor is much more nicer in my view ,and maybe wayne cant be bothered to answer you as your so negative sorry if you feel your being slagged off but then you are putting people who drink down time after time
amanda
I think it might be time to call in one of the admins. This woman is just ignoring everyones plea for her to stop bullying him. Maybe i can ask one of the admins to intervene....?
wayne dunno if i mentoned this but my brother is a very heavy drinker and also had a bad gambling addiction and tried to take his life 5 yrs ago by taking 60 co-proximal painkillers, luckily his weight and build saved his life.
if he had been a little man he would have died, he went hospital and got no counselling and once discharged got no help and my parents swept it under carpet and wouldnt mention it. he is still a very heavy drinker and unfortunately is violent when drunk, but when sober a lovely person.
i really dont know why he feels the needs to drink so much and where it even started really, he has never really had any problems that i would have said triggered the drinking, but i guess he is quite a loner really so who know wots going on with him.
he had always been a typical 20 pints a night guy right from quite young age and my mum always just says oh he just one of the boys they all do it
I have already alerted the admins.
Do you have a voice, Wayne?
Best Wishes
Sheena
In no way am I bullying wayne. If you look at my posts they are all about giving wayne advice on exploring the net for more forums applicable to his plight.
Please someone explain where I have bullied him? Where is he?
its the way you come across maybe your not meaning to do it, but in alot of posts you seem to be very against whats being said on this post
please stop bullying wayne into this, i imagine the last thing he wants to do is waste time answering your questions which i might add are very pushy.
it seems to me u just want to upset people on here if they dont agree with u and your ways.
if wayne wanted to go to other forums then im sure he would do, but he gets all he needs from this one im sure.
stop bullying him now and i suggest u leave the thread alone, it seems u are trying to ruin his thread which was and is helping people.
im sure u have better ways of spending your time then just focusing all your attention on this one?????
Last time. Do you have a voice Wayne
the way u write things and how u react if u dont agree with something is coming across very negative in your posts and u are continuously challenging him to confront you and mayb he dont want too, it dont mean he not a man.
he has prob got more imprortant things on his mind then getting into a debate with someone who is very negative if people dont agree with her
think wayne does have a voice doesnt he donna, but just not on things he thinks is negative sheena
exactly amanda yes. hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
anyway hopefully he be eating his roast now and chilling away from this thread last thing he needs is more stress atm
Weird that you think I am negative all I done is present suggestions for Wayne to allow him to be proactive about his alcohol problem. I am sure what is going on is not helping him at.
Best wishes
Sheena
wayne hun i think u should start this thread over again from fresh without all this other talk in it, we all thought it was a grest idea for u to start this so long may it continue hun xx
Wayne is more of a man than any man I have ever met! He is not a confrontational person like you Sheena. He is a good, kind, loving gentle man. He is a man who has stood up and admitted to his problem and has sort help and continues to seek help for his illnesses. He has not waited for everyone to leave him before doing so either. He knows that he will die if this does not stop and I will support and defend my husband from people like you who bully him. Why should he respond to someone nasty like you who is treating him with such disrespect? What has he ever done to you? You do not know him. You are assuming that he is like you were, but thankfully he is not. You are a nasty person sober. God only knows what sort of a person you were with a drink in you.
Wayne will post in response to you if and when he wants to, so stop making your demands. I really don't know how you can be of any help volunteering for the AA you have put Wayne completely off of that idea now for fear that he will be treated the way you are treating him.
I am sure that you have very probably given other drinkers viewing this thread the same doubts about AA meetings as well.
watertheatre
12-10-08, 16:44
Hi, Wayne
Thanx for your reply its good to know people feel the same way on this thread and you are not alone. Im taking citralopram 20mg at moment for my anixiety. I found one to one therapy helped when I stopped this time.I knew I had a drinking problem but was in deniel till it ruined my relationship we are still together but working through it. Does Katie still drink and hw does it make you feel as my partner tends to drink sociely 3 times a week and annoys me. However now stopped for this long startin to feel alot better and hope you will too.take care and best of luck ...
I am a kind nice person as well. No way have I been nasty or disrespectful to Wayne. Are you not reading my posts - all I have done is make suggestions on how he can f better himself before he goes on detox. I do not think that I am bullying him I only have his best intrests at heart. Do your have an examply of me bullying because I can't see any.
You sound quite a nasty woman to write what you did about me and have been very disrespectful to me.
I live a good life and have my grown up children who love to come around and see me bringing the grandchildren with them. I have interests and good friends. No way I am bitter besides my anxiety and panic attacks I am a very well likedand contented with my lot.
If I have carried on drinking I would not have the life I have now. Alcohol destroyed me but on going sobriety brought my life back together again.
I only wish that for yourself and Wayne.
Oh, and I hope he gets to see his children soon.
Sheena
I suggest we close this thread now and if waynes up for it, and the admins dont mind, maybe he can start it again. Surely this woman wouldnt take the chance of hijacking another?
Best way now is not to reply on this one and allow it to just disappear. Replying just seems to be a red light for her to continue.
What do y'all think? :shrug:
ill happily reply on another thread as it is very helpful just a shame its been ruined already
I am a kind nice person as well. No way have I been nasty or disrespectful to Wayne. Are you not reading my posts - all I have done is make suggestions on how he can f better himself before he goes on detox. I do not think that I am bullying him I only have his best intrests at heart. Do your have an examply of me bullying because I can't see any.
You sound quite a nasty woman to write what you did about me and have been very disrespectful to me.
I live a good life and have my grown up children who love to come around and see me bringing the grandchildren with them. I have interests and good friends. No way I am bitter besides my anxiety and panic attacks I am a very well likedand contented with my lot.
If I have carried on drinking I would not have the life I have now. Alcohol destroyed me but on going sobriety brought my life back together again.
I only wish that for yourself and Wayne.
Oh, and I hope he gets to see his children soon.
Sheena
You say u have not disrespected Wayne and u dont think u have been negative ..erm.
1.Come on be a man
2. you are giving bad advice Wayne
3.wake up and smell the daises before you bury your husband
4Its good 2 see where I might end up (meaning like Wayne ) wouldnt wish that on my worst enemy
5.wayne cant help any1 as hes still drinking
6.You might enjoy being coccooned around all your female supporters
7 Do u have a voice ...........................
Just a few of your quotes Sheena ......and u ask why ???????
Perhaps you should re read your own posts .
Hi
This thread is getting a little heated so I have decided to closed it for the time being and it will be discussed with other Admin members.
Carol
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