CrossingTheWater
11-10-08, 03:31
I've posted a similar thing in a different forum, but I thought that maybe people who specifically have anxiety will understand what I'm talking about more than anyone else. So anyway, I'm 16 and had to stop going into school because of anxiety & depression. I now have to do a sort of evening class in English at the local 6th form college. I'm doing 4 other subjects at home, so that's a lot easier to manage, but going into a class is just unbearable! It is two hours long - from 6:30 'till 8:30 and it is always dark outside which, for some strange reason, always makes everything more frightening. The building itself is massive and the class has about 20 other students who are all quite a bit older than me. I have social anxiety as well, so the thought of having an attack and embarrassing myself in front of everyone is actually making it even more difficult. At my last school there were 4 in Spanish class and only 3 in Latin so it's a big adjustment.
I've had these symptoms both before and during the class:
Hot & cold temperature, sweating, shaking too much to hold the pen, dizziness, distorted vision, inability to breathe (that's the worst), feeling as if I was about to be sick, choking sensation, racing thoughts, feeling as if was going mad, the world was ending or I was going to die. I've also felt claustrophobic as though I just had to get out of the building. I can hardly describe some of the symptoms - honestly they're so terrifying.
I know it's just sitting in a room for a couple of hours, but I can't do it. I have no idea why it provokes such an extreme and irrational reaction but it does and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. I feel so pathetic because nobody thinks of things like this and no-one else in the class has to deal with this. People go abroad for months on their own and don't feel any of these things, yet I feel as though the world is ending because I have to sit in a room for a while. What is wrong with me? What on earth can I do about it?
My mum was reading history at university, but had to drop out because of panic attacks. I really don't want to be in the same situation.
Sorry for the length of this post!
I've had these symptoms both before and during the class:
Hot & cold temperature, sweating, shaking too much to hold the pen, dizziness, distorted vision, inability to breathe (that's the worst), feeling as if I was about to be sick, choking sensation, racing thoughts, feeling as if was going mad, the world was ending or I was going to die. I've also felt claustrophobic as though I just had to get out of the building. I can hardly describe some of the symptoms - honestly they're so terrifying.
I know it's just sitting in a room for a couple of hours, but I can't do it. I have no idea why it provokes such an extreme and irrational reaction but it does and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. I feel so pathetic because nobody thinks of things like this and no-one else in the class has to deal with this. People go abroad for months on their own and don't feel any of these things, yet I feel as though the world is ending because I have to sit in a room for a while. What is wrong with me? What on earth can I do about it?
My mum was reading history at university, but had to drop out because of panic attacks. I really don't want to be in the same situation.
Sorry for the length of this post!