Shall I Stay Or Shall I Go??(dont Read If Sensitve To Death)

[kazzie]

Evening Peeps:)

Been in my job nearly 3 months now:D

I work in an undertakers:ohmy:

I used to sit around at home(well for 2 yrs) being depressed

Thing is Im about to sign a perm contract so do I stay or go????

Used to have wicked HA and Agora but ok now

Thing is just had to do the funeral of a guy who murdered his kids, a lady who died of cancer and a guy who drowned in his garden pond:weep:

Everyone tells me Im brill at the job including my boss but my HA seems to be coming back

Someone help please:scared15:

Dont want to be unemployed again but am I doing the right thing staying???

Sorry for the ramblings

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Cathy V]

Kaz, dont mean this to sound negative, but if you have to ask then maybe its not the job for deep down in your heart. That you do it well is great, but youve also got to be happy doing it and to think about any negativity with your health. You made a big leap when you started work again, so that big step that you took is past and any future job will never hold the same fear.

Id say look around and really see what you might want to do. You never know. at the end of this thread, after everyone has answered you might decide its your ideal job after all. But never compromise your health..its so precious.

Not an easy one and you are in my thoughts kaz...good luck with your decision xxxx :hugs:

[Hope 2]

Hey Kaz

I know what you mean with this, I went back to work after 7 yrs in June and I am starting to feel the 'heat' with me mentalness now. Anyway this is about you lol.

My advice is a bit weak but I would say, go with your heart mate. Listen to it, not the sensible/practical side, but the emotional side.

Sorry if this is pants help bit I have had a little tipple lol.

Luv Jue xx

[eeyorelover]

If your HA is coming back there has to be a reason why.

I'd say give it some thought and if you can't figure out any other reason for it then it has to be job related.

In that case you have to decide whether or not you are willing to have to go back and fight the HA and conquer it again or leave the job.
Altho most of the time I don't advocate avoidance behavior I would have to say that the job you have is a high stress one and that even if you get control over your HA the stress can't be good for anyone who has ever dealt with any anxiety related problem.
xxx
Sandy

[EebyJeeby]

Two things spring to mind:

Firstly, being surrounded by death can have one of three effects; either you'll get depressed/anxious by it, you'll be indifferent to it or you'll live life to the full because of it. I understand your feelings - I was doing a forensic medicine course and trying to work out cause of death made me increasingly anxious.

Secondly, I'd consider the confidentiality situation. You're on thin ice talking on a public forum about identifiable clients. In your business, client confidentiality is paramount. Probably rule number one in their code of conduct. I appreciate why you feel the need to share, but it's something to throw into the mix.

Maybe you could ask for an extension to your probation period to give you a bit more time to monitor how you're feeling? If you find you don't want to continue, use it as a springboard to a less stressful job. I doubt any future employer would question why you wanted to leave!

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

Well i geuss there is only you that can decide that but i feel if the job is getting you down maybe you need to make the decision if its right for you.

Has you know i suffered with agorophobia for many years and when i started to recover i went to college to do a social care course eventually getting a job with the local council working with the elderly in care homes. At first i loved the job i found it so rewarding but as the months went by my panic/agorophobia started to return. The problem i had was i just couldnt leave my job at work i used to come home and worry about the old people and feel sorry for them which used to get me really down. The staff at the care homes used to say to me i was born to do this kind of job as i was so caring, i think i was too caring!

Anyway, eventually (after 2 years)i ended up going down hill again and had to go on the sick. And after much thought i decided it wasnt the job for me.

I work in a office now and to be honest i find it boring but at least i can go to work do my job, come home and forget about it. i still often think about returning to working in a care home again i realy did like that line of work but i geuss we have to do whats best for our own welfare.

Andrea
xxxx

[pinkpiglet]

Hi Kazzie, Truthfully, only you knows the answer to your dilema!
It's a difficult one though. I think you need to sit down and weigh up the pro's and con's. Ask yourself: is it the job that is causing your anxiety to return or is it something else? Are you happy in your work? Is there anything else that you have a desire to do?
Should you put a line underneath this experience and mark it off as an achievment and move onto the next stage of your life?/or should you stick at it and work your way up?
Isn't it a pain when you need to make a decision & you have no idea what to do! We'v all been there at some point!!
Could you speak to the person closest to you, ask them what they think. Those who know us best usually seem to know us better than we know ourselves. At the end of the day though it will be your decision.
Sorry i can't give you the answer chuck but whatever you decide you should rest assured it will be the right one.

[Piglet]

I'm of the opinion as has previously been said that if you have to ask then maybe no this isn't the job for you.

I also agree with Eeyore about the whole avoidance thing - it's hard for us lot to know when we're avoiding due to our anxiety or when we're avoiding due to sheer commonsense. We all know how we'd feel if we watched a week of sad news and how we'd feel if we did the same but with comedy etc.

It doesn't mean you have to stop working it means find work that is more suitable or in a place more suitable should I say. I would imagine you would have to be a certain type of person to cope with death on a daily basis and I know damn well I couldn't!!!

Like Andy and her caring for the elderly - just because we are good at it doesn't neccessarily make it the right choice.

Love Piglet :flowers:

[kazzie]

Hi Everyone:hugs:

Thank you all so much for your replies:hugs:

I have done a lot of thinking this weekend:wacko:

My whole life has been tipped upside down lately, applied for the job in June and got knocked back

Phone call in August asking me to start on Monday:wacko:

Since then my youngest son came home to live and tonight Ive had my 25 yr old crying on the phone cos he is going thru a nasty divorce and isent allowed to see his kids.......he is dropping his daughters birthday pressie here for me to drop off cos Im allowed access and he isent:weep:

Think life is tipping me over the edge:whistles:

I CANT AND WONT GIVE INTO IT AGAIN:yesyes:

So for everyone on NMP I will go back to work:yesyes:

Onward and upward chaps lol:D

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[kendo59]

If you take the job, you can always leave it in the future if you feel it's too much.

If you don't take the job (especially in the current economic climate) you may be out of work for a while.

You could always toss a coin.

[yor5150]

Obviously it is your decision. I have a great concern about not working so I'd take the job and try to be extremely grateful that I had one.

Best of luck to you.

[bottleblond]

Kazz

I think with the line of work you are in, you're certainly going to come across some very nasty situations which would make you question your own mortality, i think anyone in this line of business must have at some stage. i would find it very odd if they didn't. I would say it's kinda natural when you work in an undertakers. It's effecting you more because you do have HA and it plays on your mind more.

Do the good points of the job not outweigh the bad? How many people have you helped? There must be a fair few by now honey! Try to think about that side of the business rather than the negative side.

If at some point down the line, you are still struggling then maybe it would be time to re-think.

I think your great Kazz

Loads of love
Lisa
xxxx :bighug1:

[hopeful]

Hi Kazz,
I think you have a lot to deal with at the moment,your one son moving back home and your other son going through a divorce and you're still working and running a home.Phew,no wonder you're you're questioning your job.You have to find some 'me' time to relax and recharge your batteries.I don't think its only the job thats making you feel as you do,I think its the constant stress of whats going on in your life,including your job.
Everything will straighten out in the end it always does,its just hard while these things are happening.Hope this makes sense:) .
Take care and be kind to yourself too.:flowers:
julie x:hugs:

[kazzie]

Thanks Everyone:hugs:

I have come to the conclusion that its best to stay at work:)

Thing is Ive been in the job for almost 3 months and had no problems, its only the last couple of weeks that have been dodgy:wacko: and its the last couple of weeks Ive had all the turmoil with the kids:wacko:

So if I think about it logically if I pack my job in I will be back to square 1, bored and skint but the root of the problem will still be there ie my sons divorce, etc etc.:weep:

I only work 2 1/2 days a week (20 hours) so I dont live and breathe the job, I also find it very rewarding as I love helping people:)

I think I will stay:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

:hugs: :hugs:

Glad to hear you have made a decision Kazz, like i said previously there was only you that could decide whats best.

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[hopeful]

Good for you Kazz:yesyes:
julie x:hugs: