This condition can be overcome!

[Scaredtoolong]

Hi all,

I hope that this post will give everyone some encouragement. I will try to keep it as brief as possible but I want to include some details that I feel everyone can benefit from.

I am a 42 year old female. Married - mother of 6. My mom, 3 sisters and 2 daughters all have had their share of panic. My mom, after about 6 months of dealing with this condition just decided one day that she wasn't "going to live like this anymore" and talked herself out of having panic disorder. And, that was that. No meds, no CBT. That was 26 years ago. My oldest sister was on Paxil and xanax for about a year and decided one day that she was tired of the weight gain the Paxil caused, threw her pills away and has never had panic again. That was 7 years ago. Again, no more panic episodes for her. My younger sister Dar, suffered for about two years, had to quit her job and barely functioned on a daily basis. One day she just decided that she too wasn't going to live like this and "talked herself out of panic". No meds. She has had 3 minor episodes since then. She says it isn't anything she can't deal with. My baby sister has been on Paxil and Klonapin for 12 years. She doesn't have panic, but she hates the side effects of the Paxil. But, when she tries to go off it, she has panic worse than before she went on it. And, withdrawal that is horrible. My two daughters both say the same thing...oh mom I have those symptoms too, but I am not afraid of them, everyone gets these some times.

After much thought and many many many panic years, I started looking for ways to overcome this condition. I was always too afraid to take meds for fear of the side effects and reading the statistics that meds don't work for most people. And, considering my sisters reactions I decided that wasn't the way to fix my problem. So I began the journey of trying to find a way to "cure" myself.

I have read nearly everything there is to read about panic. Dr. Claire Weekes "Peace From Nervous Suffering" was very helpful. I ordered the Attacking Anxiety and Depression Program which was helpful. I read several other books, too. I found this and 3 other panic forums on the internet. Then I found 3 websites that were personal sites of panic sufferers just like us. The thing that these three all had in common was that after years of suffering, different meds and therapies...that all came to the conclusion that in order to cure panic you have to cross over to the other side of panic. In other words you have to ACCEPT and FACE panic...and cross to the other side of panic which is peace. I also had the benefit of "Radar" on this site, who essentially said the same thing in a different way.

Now I will be the first to admit that this idea seemed out of reach and beyond my ability and comprehension. But, I kept going back to these sites and reading and re-reading what these people were saying until I finally understood what they meant. This is the conclusion that I finally came to....Once you CHALLENGE panic and see it for what it really is...normal physical symptoms that are exaggerated...ususally followed by a thought..."What if"...."Oh my goodness" ...."Here it comes again".... etc....once you challenge the symptoms then those very symptoms start to settle down.

The proverbial light bulb came on after I had had a particulary bad panic day. I woke up shaking, hyperventilating, chest pains, bowels in an uproar the whole bowl of cherris and just plain FEAR! I kept thinking how long can I take this? How long will I be like this? Why can't I be normal?

I was afraid I was going to die. Yet, at that very point when I had reached the end of my rope...I called my hubby at work and told him that if I had to continue to live like this...that dying would be better. I felt like there was no hope.

I got back on my computer which always helped to distract me and usually made me feel a little bit better. I returned to the sites I mentioned above and it was at that very moment that I realized that while I was reading these sites that I d

[Meg]

Dear Susan,

Wow, many congratulations to you !!! That's totally brilliant. It's really great when you get that lightbulb moment isn't it ?

I've learn that it is possible to get through to most everyone but sometimes you have to use different words and scenarios . Not everyone 'clicks' from the same framework. I've had to learn be able to tell the same story in a variety of ways to different people. An academic is probably not going to respond to the same methods as a designer. We are built differently with varying natural limits for pain and fear.

We will all have a few setbacks wher fear tests us but the secret with those is to not allow yourself to believe it's all going back to the beginning and keep focused on the job in hand - not the fear. Humour is so important for those times.

You might want to change that username to something more realistic !


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Laurie28]

Susan,

That was a great post. kit is only lately I have come to accept my anxiety/panic through this great site and CBT and it is only lately have been able to 'face' my fears. It is very difficult to battle with 'ones' own head but it is the only way to get better. I think once you have accepted it and start facing it you are on the road to recovery

Again I loved the post and will probably read it 100 times!!

Love
lucky

[twister]

Well done Susan that's a brilliant inspiration!!:D

Emily

[nomorepanic]

Nice going Susan - I like the thought of you shouting at the panic - it is supposed to work well.

Keep up the great recovery

Nicola

[Scaredtoolong]

Hi ALL,

Just a quick note to let everyone know that I am still 99% panic free.

There are a few occasions that I get a little anxious or a symptom crops up, ie heart twinge etc, but all in all things are great!

I've been X-Mas shopping, out visiting and having a genuine good time.

For those of you who are still in different phases of recovery, hang in there. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it shines oh so bright!!!!!

I never thought I'd see the day when I would be free of PANIC!

NEVER GIVE UP HOPE!!!!!!

Hugs, Susan

[sadie]

WOW Susan,

I have just read your message out loud and its made me feel so good. I understood everything you said..and have at times too done just what you say, but somehow I do eventually let the fear take over again.

I have read Dr Claire Weeks books too and what you and other family members have done so successfully is the treatment that she explains is the only way to beat anxiety.

The symptoms which have scared me the most throughout my anxiety is the chest pains and hyperventalating just like you. I am also a chronic upper chest breather and I try my best to breath normally but it is difficult to recognise this sometimes.

Anyway, your message has gave me hope again...and I am going to print it out and keep with me until I overcome this.

Thankyou so much for your inspirational words and keep us posted on your great recovery. Well Done!!!:)

sadie

[Hears The Water]

Susan, I cannot tell you how much your post has helped me this morning. I was just sitting here wondering if there is any hope for a future. I get like that sometimes. I just wanted to know if I am doomed to panic attacks and phobias and anxiety for the rest of my life or not. Even if I had to deal with the feelings and thoughts every so often I would be ok with that too. But to feel like there is no hope realy stinks.
When I do have the scary thoughts there is this inner voice that makes me feel so very ashamed for even being scared. I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way, if I where "normal" (I know, it is a realative term) I would not feel these feelings or have these thoughts. Then I feel so stupid and alone. I also get angry when the thoughts come, or when I react to a physical feeling. Angry at myself for being this way, angry that I reacted the way I did. Then I get sad and usually cry. I know I should look back and see where I came from, how bad it usted to be and how much more peace I have in my life now. But I usually don't. Right now I feel like I am in a rut and cannot get out. I see where I want to go, I don't like where I am now, who I am now. But I also feel so powerless to do anything to change. Seeing your post and coming to this site has given me hope. Like there is a chance that I can do this. Thank you seems to be to small of a phrase to let you know how grateful I am for the insperation y'all have incouraged in me. But it is all I have. So, thank you all.
God Bless you and yours
Debbie, aka Hears The water

[Scaredtoolong]

Hi All!

Happy New Year!

Just wanted to post an update on my recovery. I literally breezed through the holidays without any problems. I had a couple of "episodes" of hyperventilation (mainly in the stores), BUT...now I catch myself breathing faster and/or shallower and STOP it right away. So, even when I get the usual symptoms caused by h-v they immediately go away when I breath more naturally. Most importantly though, is that I didn't become anxious or fearful so my "episodes" never developed into a typical panic. When you stop being afraid of the symptoms, they go away!!!

I hope everyone is doing well or progressing. I assure you once again that if I can do it, ANYONE can. I still maintain that I was the worst case on the face of the planet (don't we all?). As I have mentioned in other posts, I couldn't even go to my own mail box at the end of my driveway. I was afraid of dying and hoping that I would at the same time. Once you are on the road to overcoming panic, so many doors are opened for you. You can do things you never even dared to imagine doing. AND, you start to notice other people and their behaviour. I was in the grocery store and there was a woman in the line next to me. I recognized that look of "panic" on her face. When I left the store I caught up to her and introduced myself and asked her if she was "anxious". She said "Yes, I have these panic attacks". I briefly told her my story, we exchanged phone numbers and we email each other regularly. The point is that you'd be surprised how common the condition really is. It is somewhat comforting to know this, as I always felt very isoloated from everyone even when surrounded by people. THEY didn'tunderstand what I was feeling, FEAR!

Uh, oh, I think I have begun to ramble on here. Sorry, I just hope that someone out there reads this post and is helped by it. This condition can be BEATEN!!!!!

Never give up hope!

Hugs to all Susan

To Debbie
I know exactly how you feel. If you would like to correspond, you can email me at AAMEDDirector@aol.com
Hugs, Susan

[Meg]

Dear Susan,

Well done for reaching out and helping someone else.

I'm sure you've directed them here too..

Also fantastic on your continued success. I'm so pleased for you. What a relief .


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[stimpy]

Well Done Susan ! :D

* Stimpy does another happy happy joy joy dance *

It's great to see that you are doing so well. Keep up the good work.

I've lost count the amount of times I've hit my punch bag, and told "Mr Panic" that I will fight him tooth and nail. That my back up team is going to help me beat him for good.

I loved your post, great words of inspiration.

Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx

[:p] Panic Monster & Scatty Excentric

[tygwyn]

I know this is an old post but the message is so positive! Love it!

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[rhowes2000]

Good find! Or well remembered? Anyway was very helpful, certainly encouraged me to stand up to it and I have started right now. Feeling terrible at work, but through distraction and just letting the symptoms happen i'm getting towards the end of a productive day!

[desperate]

Yep nice to read Rach!

First Anxiety...then panic attacks...now GAD and depression...now working on a better future!

[tygwyn]

Glad you like it guys!

I have to admit that I tend to spend a lot of time in the Success Stories pages when I'm feeling a bit low. It always works at lifting my spirits!

When I am feeling extremely positive I check out all the other posts too to see if I can help but on down days, its Success only stories for me!!

Take care

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[rhowes2000]

Good way of doing it Rach, we are easily led into negative thoughts and that is a large part of our problem. By keeping with the positive threads it will certainly help. I am determined to think a lot more positively from now on. It can only help in everything I do.

[tygwyn]

After reading this post I emailed Susan to thank her for taking the time to post it and to let her know that it helped me. She has just emailed me back with the following:- (she said I was more than welcome to post it here if I thought it might help others)


I am very glad to hear that my story has helped you. Everything I learned and then wrote in that post is still so true. Ironically, I had to challenge "panic" very recently. To explain even more, let me tell you about some very recent happenings...I live in Florida in the US. I live on the southwest coast. Our summer weather is hurricane weather. We have had a really tough hurricane season this year. The most recent one, Hurricane Wilma, although small, did quite a bit of damage in our area. The day after dealing with this, I was called to the hospital where my 5 year old granddaughter, Haley, was being tested to try to determine why her white blood count was 29,000 (3x the normal), she was running fever of 105 and was very ill. It turned out to be a kidney infection. The next day, another daughter had to go to have a tooth removed surgically, as it was growing into the bone near her ear. At any rate the point is I was under a tremendous amount of stress.

Well, I felt all the sensations of "panic" creeping in. BUT...it was all the stress! You see what panic really is...is the physical symptoms of stress, that we become afraid of. Yes, my tummy was churning, my heart racing, breathing shallowly from the chest...etc! I have experienced all that in the last week. I didn't have PANIC, because I didn't let myself become afraid. In the "bad old days" those symptoms would have been just enough to land me in the full panic-fear-panic cycle. Not anymore! I now go back to my learned responses like breathing from the tummy, accepting that I am feeling these physical symptoms and that they won't hurt me and it settles down.

I do believe that EVERY living human being experiences what we call panic. It's just that not everyone becomes afraid of those physical symptoms or they recognize that it's just stress. You see "we" are also very analytical and therefore we want to know why is this symptom happening, why that symptom etc. Also, we are very intelligent. We get on the computer and look up symptoms and what we actually end up doing is scaring ourselves even more!

The bottom line is that panic is just stress that we have become acutely aware of! That's it really. Once you accept that...the recovery is permanent. You can't avoid stress, so you can't avoid those symptoms. But, once you accept them, they don't scare you anymore. Then the panic is gone! Once you realize that you are doing this to yourself the hard part is tackled!

I hope this helps! Take care and hang in there.


Hope this helps someone - anything I read which has a positive message helps me!

Rach xxxx

"True acceptance means 'facing and relaxing' - it is submission" (Claire Weekes)

[munchkin555]

hi susan!
i loved your post.
i shout at my anxiety too!
i was in asda the other day when my anxiety kicked in. i called it a few choice words in my head and told it that i am not listening because everytime i listen i end up making a prat of my self and looking stupid and feeling like a plonker. so i basically put my foot down and decided to not take any more if its cr*p!
i felt so great and empowered!
i'm glad u r beating it well done hun!!!!
love
munch
xxxxx

[Cathy V]

So sorry but i get a little confused? i start out reading a really interesting thread, followed by interesting posts, only to realise that the thread actually is a couple of YEARS old, and that someone just happens to add on tp it with their post in the last day or two which brings the thread back to our attention! ive seen this alot, can threads really go on this long???? :huh:

[Cathy V]

Munchkin, i'm very confused...why did you answer a post that's dated october 2005?

Cathy v xx

[Panic1971]

This is a brilliant post. Although it is an old post - what is written is so inspirational.

Just wish I could do what it says and just accept these symptoms instead of fighting them. I do believe that that is the 'cure'. I tell myself when I am feeling okay that when the symptoms start that I will just accept them, but then when they come - I fight my hardest as they are so horrible. Just wish I could be a bit braver.:weep:

It is great to read others successes - no matter how old the post is. :yesyes: