View Full Version : Dismissal at work, advice please
milly jones
12-10-08, 19:00
hi guys
well the letter came from the local education authority for a case review regarding my absence from work. its a formal hearing with the lea, head and myself with my union rep.
im so scared. my rep says it looks like that they will push for dismissal through neglect of my contract. they will offer me to go back to work straight away, may offer redeployment, or dismissal.
as occupational health have deemed me infit for work it looks like dismissal is the only option and my pension will be frozen until i can draw on it.
i guess im unlikely to get incapacity benefit so it looks like a bleak future.
i just need some help. support, hugs anything.
im dreading the meeting. im feeling a faliure and the thoughts of hurting are looming and i cant tell anyone. im sitting here in tears wondering what my future will be and if i will be of any use to anyone in the future.
teaching is all ive ever known and its the job thats taken my life away.
right at this moment i want to run away from all the meetings with people asking questions and probing into my life.
please help give me the strength to carry on without hurting.
pooh, pops if anyone can give me some advice id really appreciate it now on work legal stuff
sorry for being such a weak mess
milly
Mill, i cant give you any legal advice but i can send all my love and wish you luck with the meeting :hugs:
Will be thinking about you xxxxxxx
milly jones
12-10-08, 19:05
thanks cath, just feel so bloody useless
i once was a capable woman who ran a unit with 12 staff, now i cant manage when my nose runs
just wish this s**tty illness had never come to me
i hate it and what its done to me and what ive lost from it
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
Hi Milly,
I can't give you any advice, but I'm wishing you lots of luck for the meeting and I hope it goes a lot better than you expect.
I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time. Sending you lots of hugs and I hope you feel better soon.
Take care of yourself Anna xx :hugs: :hugs:
bottleblond
12-10-08, 19:13
Milly
How long have you been off work huni?
Love Lisa
xxxx
milly jones
12-10-08, 19:16
been off work 6 months this time, was off for year two years ago, back for 18 months in between lisa
so a bad work record you see theyve had enough of me now
milly jones
12-10-08, 19:18
sorry anna i missed ur wishes, thank you
meeting isnt till week after next, just got to survive till then
thanks xx
ladybird64
12-10-08, 19:33
Hi Millie
No expertise from me either I'm afraid, I wish I was able to give you some advice but I hope that your rep can come up with something.
I will be keeping my fingers crossed that the meeting goes better than you think it will at the moment.
I know it seems a stupid question but why would you not be entitled to Incapacity benefit? I know what awkward bug*ers they can be but have you checked to see if you have any entitlement?
I know that's probably the last thing you want to think about at the moment but could someone check it out on your behalf?
This is going to be a difficult time for you but you have got lots of support here.
Thinking of you :hugs:
milly jones
12-10-08, 19:39
i got incapacity benefit last time i was off but i know the rules have changed and are much tougher now. i undertsand i cant claim it until ive been absent for 12 months and ive only been off work 6 months.
i just feel so useless
ive always been the main provider for the family and its just so final.
been throwing up my meds now too so thats going to mess my system up too
that awful feeeling of impending doom and uncertain future, you know the one when u feel like uve got ur driving test all the time, and the tears just wont stop, and u feel sick
bottleblond
12-10-08, 19:44
Milly darlin
Contact your local CAB office and find out where you stand!
I hope it works out for you sweety!
sending you loads of love and huggies
Lisa
xxxxx :bighug1::bighug1:
milly jones
12-10-08, 19:45
ty lisa
im so stupid
thoughts and actions
12-10-08, 19:46
hi Milly
not sure if this will be any use to you
www.cipd.co.uk (http://www.cipd.co.uk)
its the uk's national HR site- if you do a search for dismissal then it will give you all the fact sheets and the rights you have an also your employer
Might be worth while familiriasing yourself with it - also a point to note- i dont know what your history or background is but may be advisable to check if reason for absence is covered by an acts i.e. DDA
Hope everything goes okay with the meeting- remember you can ask for an adjourment at any time.
xx :bighug1:
Assuming you've been off work because of 'illness / incapacity' and forwarded doctor's certificates to your employer, I'm not sure they can sack you for being ill. Do you belong to a union that can advise you? If so, please talk to your union rep. If you belong to a company pension scheme, you may be eligible to retire early on medical grounds, and get your pension paid to you.
Hiya Hun ..
How long have you worked there ? Do you have good relationship with head ?
What is your job ?
Is it works occ health that has said you are not fit for work ?
sorry for all the questions hun gna do some digging with my old m8s from my education days xxxxxxx
Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Milly.
Not an expert, but all I would say is just give them the full story on how you feel and be honest and open with them about your situation.
Can you discuss possible compromises with them? If you weren't able to do the same job as you did before then is there anything you can do in connection with that job? Or even any positions which you may not have considered before but are still at the premises?
Can you suggest a back to work program me is developed for you? (Such as returning for 1 day a week for 2 weeks, then 3 days for the next 3 or 4 weeks etc). If you are keen to return to work and you think you are able to (sorry I do not know your personal circumstances so this ramble may sound like hot air!) then my understanding is that they should try and find you a suitable alternative position or help you with your return.
Not sure if this site could help you:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/RedundancyAndLeavingYourJob/DG_10026692
Stay positive.
Andy
milly jones
12-10-08, 20:48
thanks guys
ive been back on a phased return when i originally had my breakdown. im in charge of a unit for children with severe learning difficulties with a staff to deploy and reports for the lea to write regarding childrens needs, so its a bit more than a teaching post.
i know that atym i just cant consider being strong enough to face work
i struggle with my avoidant personality disorder, depressive illness and anxiety, and although i thought the paranoid delusions were under control wioth the meds, thoughts that my union rep wants me to be dismissed cos hes talked to my head teacher keep creeping into my head so i know that the bad thoughts are there
theres also the wanting to punish myself thoughts too
all this was fairly under control before the phone call from the union rep and his warnings of the case review was likely to be for dismissal
thank you for ur wishes and pms, especially the links
andy i just cant face the people at work
titch, ive worked there for 6 years, but ive been teaching for 22 and never had illness before my breakdown. titch ive got a pretty good relationship with the head, but hes not anx aware, lol. the occ health was thru the lea
kendo, my condition is thought to be able to improve with time so not applicable for early pension rights
thoughts, ty for reminding me about dda, i qualified after my breakdown 3 years ago
lifes crap
Hi Milly my love
I just want to send you a big hug - have you tried speaking to ACAS or is there something similar for teachers? It is a sh..tty illness and I wonder if it would be the same treatment if someone was off with cancer etc?
lots and lots of love
Just sending you lots of hugs, i know how you feel , keep posting, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
milly jones
12-10-08, 23:12
ty bab and alexis
just cant get to sleep tonight
not sure if its additional anx or cos ive been sick so much that meds have gone
just going to spemd night here till i must fall asleep
Hi Milly
just wanted to send u :bighug1:
hope it goes ok for u
love mandie x
milly jones
12-10-08, 23:32
thanks mandie x
hi Milly are you on msn, if your here have you anyone you can talk to, or do u use chat?
Milly sweetie,
I can't always get on here to help, but i'm always on the other end of the phone, i didn't realise when you text me today why you were so low, you will be entitled to benefits hun.
Don't beat yourself up about not being able to do the job you have always done............... you will get there again, but in your own pace.
Sometimes hun the pressures from those higher up just fuel our anxiety.
You're not giving in milly, its just time out.
And at the mo, thats all you need..............time out!
di xx
Hello Milly:hugs:
I've been looking things up on the Net and I've found the following that might hep to reassure you.
Firstly, they cannot dismiss you until they've explored every possibility that they can use to help you get back to work such as changing your hours etc. If they don't give you every opportunity, they will leave themselves open to legal action on the grounds of unfair dismissal.
If both sides reach a point where there really isn't anything more that can be done to help you get back into work, then yes, they can dismiss you But from what I've read they "may" have to determine a "final payment".
See www.businesslink.gov.uk (http://www.businesslink.gov.uk)
Regarding incapacity benefit....
have been too ill to work because of sickness or disability for at least 28 weeks so if you do receive a final payment, it should see you over the extra month.
See www.direct.gov.uk (http://www.direct.gov.uk)
From 27 October the new allowance will be coming in but it won't affect "existing" claimants who already receive incapacity benefit.
Employment and Support Allowance is a new way of helping people with an illness or disability to move into work, if they are able.
It replaces Incapacity Benefit and Income Support, paid because of an illness or disability, for new claims from 27 October 2008. If you are currently receiving these benefits you will continue to receive them, so long as you continue to satisfy the entitlement conditions.
If you have to claim the new allowance....
In most cases, if you qualify for Employment and Support Allowance you will not get any money for the first 3 days of your claim. These are called 'waiting days'. Then you will get the assessment phase rate while we assess your ability to work.
The assessment phase rate is paid for the first 13 weeks of your claim while a decision is made on your capability for work through the Work Capability Assessment.
The main phase rate starts from week 14 of your claim.
See www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk (http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk)
So in other words, either way you'll still receive finances.
Hope that helps. I'm Sure things will settle Milly. I went through this some years ago so I know how worrying it must be for you. Things Will sort themselves.:bighug1:
ask them is this kind of thing to show kids to kick some one where thay are down , if so its no wonder kids are killing each other
tell the lea you are going to the papers about this and show what people run our schools
milly jones
13-10-08, 14:22
alexis, i do use msn, not chat so much now as it made me feel ill. thank god for orion who listens for hours through msn, especially last night when i was very low
di, hi hun, its ok, just thank you for being there xx
bill, aww bill, u did so much for me ty. im not so much worried about the money, its the shame of it all
Col, u made me laugh, but i undertsand what ur saying
ive just got to wait till the hearing and see what happens i guess, and try to stay safe in the meantime
ty everyone so much for ur love and concern xxxxx
monday hugs for u milly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
milly jones
13-10-08, 14:36
ty donna xxxx back to u too xxxxxxxx
Hiya sweetie .....
You ave nothing 2 feel ashamed of hun .
Have you rang ACAS 2 get any info ..if not I will ring for u hun if you want me 2 just say xxxxx
big warm hugs
Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs:
pinkpiglet
13-10-08, 14:50
Hi Milly, sorry i can't offer you any legal advice but i just wanted to send you.................................
BIG HUGS :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:
You'r so nice I really wish I could advise you but apart from saying 'get in touch with a sollicitor who deals in employment law. You are allowed a free 1 hour consultation (this can be done over the telephone if you don't feel like a 1-1 face to face). Thats all i know xxx
Milly
just don't know what to say to you hun, hope things turn around for you soon, I understand exactly where you are coming from I work for the NHS and their policies are the same I cannot believe that people can be treated like this, don't be feeling ashamed or anything like that hun, I will send you pm later on tonight if I get time (hope that is Ok)
Listen to Bill and the others it is just time out you need and believe me you will bounce back.
Lots of Love
Heather
Hereford Al
13-10-08, 15:15
Good luck Milly.
I've been off work for 3 months so far with my illness, and because I keep pushing myself to get back to work ASAP (I'd give anything to actually be able to cope with a day there at the moment!), I keep beating myself up that I have not yet managed it. I always prided myself on my lack of sickness absence before this (think I had 4 days off in 2 years, and that was only because of the worst case of flu I ever had that gave me nosebleeds lasting for 2 hours) and that people will see me as weak and stuff now when I always used to be "Reliable young Al" to most.
In a way, I kind of wish this was a broken leg or arm or something, because then you can atleast see yourself getting better. With this b****cks though, it can play really evil games with you - You think you are getting better, then *bam* it knocks you back again.
Good luck with everything. I'm sure we are all pulling for you on here.
Al
milly jones
13-10-08, 18:01
titch, thanks matey, for anything that u can do xx
pinky, i think ill ring union to see if they have a sol i can talk to, but talking will be the problem
heather, i feel the same, if i had cancer god forbid ppl would react differently
al, ive been thru the return to work stuff once and only lasted 18 months and then i was back off ill again, so i dont know what else i can do
im not prepared to be ill for the rest of my career, it ruins my life too much, but guess thats the point, i wont have a career
hugs to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
hi milly
i'm going throough something simular at the moment. there are stages they need to go through such as looking at making reasonable adjustments. even if you do get dissmissal notice you can appeal so i would think you are along way from loosing your job. if you would like to chat please feel free to pm me
Julie
milly jones
14-10-08, 12:38
ty julie
i just cant bear going back into the work environment where everyone will know ive failed at my present job, its a small lea and i was well known. whatever adjustments they offer i cant see how it would work. my social phobia and shame is just too strong.
i just feel so strong that work has made me lose myself so much and they cant wait until i feel stronger
mill xx
freakedout
14-10-08, 14:42
Hi Milly
I have some experience which may be helpful for you to know. I recently retired on ill health grounds. Please PM me if you like, I would rather not post it on the forum.
Best wishes,
Freaky
milly jones
14-10-08, 16:23
thanks freaky
have pmed u hunny
mill xx
http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1342
Hiya hun ..this is the link 2 ACAS they can give you lots of advice on your situation ...have alook through the site and call them if needed ...like I say if you dont want 2 ring yourself PM me and I wil ring on your behalf xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Veronica H
14-10-08, 16:42
:bighug1: thinking of you Milly. Contacting your Citzens Advice is a good idea.
Veronica
Stressed92
14-10-08, 17:12
Awwh Milly
Hugs for you :bighug1: :bighug1:
Take Care
Amy
x
milly jones
14-10-08, 17:39
thanks so much for the link titch
orion suggested that my hb ring the union too to see if i need to get legal advice/representation
thanks to veronica and amy also for ur support xx
hi milly
can i ask are you a member a union?
milly jones
14-10-08, 19:17
yes hun and the union rep are involved in the case
thats good. they can do all the leg work if needed. i had a real good chat with my rep last week.whatever you do don't give in and don't feel intimidated.
keep strong
julie :)
milly jones
14-10-08, 20:19
im still at the ashamed stage atm
i totally understand where you are coming from
when i was at work i was shocked by a conversation we had in my office. i work with informal carers and we got onto the subject of anxiety. it turned out that 4 of the staff out of 9 suffered with anxiety disorder. i was nolonger ashamed and accept it's part of me. i also acepted its all around me and if we were more open we would all be surprised. very difficult to do though!
not sure if this is relevant. just thought i would add about the shame and i do understand. and also piece of mind can be found
Julie :)
"Dear" Milly:hugs: ,
When my anxiety became too much to cope with in my last job before I was forced to resign, it was only then that I found out that ALOT of the people I knew were also taking meds because the company was putting them under too much pressure. No one said anything though because they were too afraid of it affecting their careers and because of the stigma attached so everyone suffered in silence, too afraid to speak out.
One day I was in a meeting but my mind couldn't stay focussed as I was in panic and just wanted to escape, or worse! After the meeting my boss said to me "Where were you?" because when she was looking for my input, I stayed silent. It made me feel bad and ashamed that I was letting her down so I asked to talk to her in a private meeting room.
When I told her all the things I was going through both at home and at work that I had kept to myself, she actually cried in front of me because she had no idea how much I was suffering in silence. She'd always thought like others that I was so laid back when my mind was tearing me apart.
She didn't judge me and nor did others because they understood that Anyone can have mental health problems when put under too much pressure. It is only us who beat up ourselves when others often don't even think in the same way about us.
I was signed off work which became a long spell of nearly a year off work before I was virtually told to resign on ill health grounds. Of course just like yourself, I felt ashamed, embarrassed and a failure, and it took me a long time to recover but looking back, resigning from that job was the best thing I ever did because the job was destroying my mental health and in my opinion our own well being and contentment in life is far more important than a career that makes us miserable by stressing us too much.
If you resign from a job that is making you feel ill and unhappy, it Won't be a bad step to make. It'll be an "opportunity" to relieve your pressures so you can focus on getting better and when you are, which one day you Will be, you will find another opening which you'll Enjoy and you'll be happy.
I always believe things happen for a reason and that when a door closes, another one always opens because life is a path determined by events.
If I'd stayed in my job, I doubt very much I'd still be around and I would never have learnt the things I have. You Already contribute ALOT to others and when you are well, you'll have even more to offer to others. Don't be ashamed dear Milly because there is no one finer in this world than an angel with a caring heart who only ever thinks of others.:bighug1:
freakedout
15-10-08, 11:05
Excellent reply Bill,
I found I could relate to lots of what you said.
It is a double edge sword really. I can honestly say I feel loads better for not being at work as I just could not cope with it at the time I went off sick. The downside though is trying to adjust to having no job, no money, no sense of purpose, pride and achievement. It is tough but at least I no longer have panic attacks every day and feel like I am choking to death all the time.
In many ways I feel as though I have failed, but at the end of the day my health HAD to come first and would rather be without panic attacks if can have the choice. Milly I can understand you feeling ashamed, but you really have nothing to be ashamed of, please be kind to yourself you have enough to deal with without you beating yourself up. Oh, and yes you are welcome to PM me any time you want.
Take care,
Freaky
milly jones
15-10-08, 12:04
thanks bill for ur advice, and thanks for caring so much hunny
freaky, im so grateful that u are willing to share the burden with me and are able to relate so closely to my experiences
my hb spoke to the union and they said that they only introduce legal services once the dismissal process is started
ive just got to wait, and worry, until the meeting and see the outcome
thanks everyone
milly xxxxx
wednesday hugs to u milly, thinking of u matey xxxxxxxxxxx
milly jones
15-10-08, 12:59
ty donna, by this time next week it will be nearly over xxx
milly jones
15-10-08, 13:33
bunnie, dont let them push u out unless u want to leave
id love to be the person i was 4 years ago again, that confident and capable person running the unit
but im not, because i was too efficient and was too much of a perfectionist the job made me ill
do what ur heart tells u hunny
milly xx
Hi Milly
Oh! hun. I cant believe I have missed this post for soooo long. Clearly you are not doing so well at the moment and no wonder. Your union rep should and probably will be totally clued up on all the legal stuff. They will know the processes and all the right moves to make.
I know that teaching has been your life and has defined a large part of who you are and I can understand why you feel ashamed about everything but please, try to adjust your thinking on this one ITS NOT YOUR FAULT that this illness presented itself in your life.
Whatever happens at this meeting next week Milly there are ways forward hun. I know you may not see them right now as you try to deal with the practical and emotional nightmare of going through this process. One way or another you are gonna make it through. It might be to a place really different and unexpected but we will be right here with you throwing out ideas, encouragment, listening and hugs whenever you need them.
In the meantime when it comes to dealing with benefits or government beauracracy use the advisors. There are people there to do everything for you and support you.
Thinking of you Milly
love Pooh xxxx
milly jones
15-10-08, 13:42
aww ty pooh, u were there for me at the last meeting and i was so grateful that u encouraged me to have tht union with me
just so much more formal this time
thanks again
mill xxxxxxxxxx
Milly hun are you able to talk about what you think is likely to happen next week?
Pooh x
milly jones
15-10-08, 14:16
my union rep has said that they are likely to start the dismissal process
ive scripted what id like to say with orions help so if i cant talk someone can read it
in an ideal and just world they would offer me early retirement due to ill health but i dont think im going to get that without a fight
theres no way im fit to do any job that involves talking and dealing with ppl atm
i dont think ill ever feel confident enough to teach again let alone manage staff
mill xx
fairyloveheart
15-10-08, 14:23
Hi Milly
I haven't replied to your posts before but just read this one and wanted to send my best wishes. My heart goes out to you. I am really sorry that this is happening to you. I work for a local authority and often wonder when this will happen to me, as I have had a lot of time off sick. Thankfully at the moment, I am managing to go in and struggle on.
Are the grounds for ill health retirement quite strict then?
Best wishes
FLH
milly jones
15-10-08, 15:21
i dont really know fairy, but i guess the lea are as cash strapped as anywhere else atm
i would imagine its difficult with anx/dep cos its not an irrecoverable illness, thus i should technically be able to work again, its just that the lea cant wait for ever and this is my second episode
ill pass on any info as my review progresses as there seems to be alot of us in this position
mill xxx
fairyloveheart
15-10-08, 15:25
Take care Milly
xxx
Hi Milly
That's a positive that you are prepared and seem to know that you would prefer to go in early retirement. I'd start looking at info to do with receiving dla once this is all over and done with. You are entitled to it Milly. One step at a time just now though. Right here with you hun
love Pooh x
milly jones
15-10-08, 16:34
i just thought id get pension and possibly incap benefit
but like u say, ill wait and see what happens first
ta pooh hun, hugs
xxxxxx
Hi Milly,
Sorry I don't have any advice I don't know the system over there. Just wanted to send well wishes and hugs to you.
Lila xx
milly jones
15-10-08, 18:46
thank you lila xx
Milly my heart goes out to you. How are you now?
I work for a council and am now on my second stage warning for my sickness record, I have not only had time off for depression / anxiety but also for illnesses brought on by being so low, i.e. tonsilitis, migraine.
Since Jan I have had off 30 days, and now I keep being warned 'I must not be sick anymore'. Like I have a control of it.
So many people here have given you such good advice, and God knows you are at your lowest ebb when you have to face these people, so it's all very well saying this and that.
But here is what I would say, and sorry if this has been said before (not necessarily in order of importance):
- Before you go to meeting / hearing, have written out all the points you want to make;
- Unfortunately a company can get rid of you even if you do have a doctor's note for your sickness, they can claim you are unable to do your work;
- Try to argue your anxiety is a disability, and look into whether anxiety is a disability. If it is they have to try and accomodate you as much as possible;
- Is there definately no other job you can do in the school? Like admin or be a teacher's help? Or work part time job share with someone?
- You might need more than a union rep, you may need a proper solicitor, if you are the member of a union they should be able to set you up with a solicitor;
- Don't resign. Let them sack you. If you resign you will be seen as making yourself jobless and will be entitled to no or less benefits or help;
- Don't let them threaten you. If they say something you do not believe tell them you will be checking this out with your solicitor first;
When is your hearing? Please keep us posted. Many of us have been in this situation. I will be praying for you and wishing good things for you.
Sue xxx:bighug:
milly jones
17-10-08, 15:20
thanks sue
just recieved paperwork for consultant to complete if they try and dismiss, so i can try and go on ill health rather than be dismissed, and thus be able to access my pension.
i cannot see me being able to work anywhere in the authority as i would have to face people. atm tlking to others at work is a big part of the avpd, and the endless worrying at night over what i have said.
also the meds keep me sedated, i rise at lunchtime and only really feel more 'normal' at around 2pm. then its almost time to take the next dose.
really sad this weekend cos my beloved car is leaving cos i can no longer afford it. sad cos when i did feel well it gave me my independance.
such is life
thank you for caring
mill xxxxxx
milly jones
21-10-08, 20:41
well guys its the night before my meeting and my tummy is telling me thats its near
ive tried to have a stress free day today with a mate, who's helped keep my mind off stuff
ive got the morning at the hospital with my psychaitrist to review my meds
then in the afternoon the case review over my future
the union seem to think ill have little chance of obtaining sufficient support for retirement due to ill health as anx is not a condition which can last for years without recovery
so i guess ill just be dismissed like a naughty girl for poor attendance
wish me luck my friends
milly xxxx
ladybird64
21-10-08, 20:49
Wishing you all the good luck in the world :hugs:
HIya hun .....big big hugs:hugs: for 2moz m8y ......hope it goes well .....let me know how it goes please xxxx:hugs:
Is rep going with u 2moz ?
loads of love and best wishes
Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs:
best of luck for tomorrow hun, stay strong and i thinking of u. hugs xxxx
I do hope meeting goes OK for you. x
milly jones
21-10-08, 21:41
ty hamster xxx
Dear Milly,
I hope all goes well for you tomorrow.
Best wishes xx :bighug1:
Wishing You all the luck in the world Mills:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:
Kaz x x x:flowers:
Hi Milly
I don't post much but have been following your posts. I would just like to add to what everyone else is saying and wish you all the luck in the world for tomorrow chuck.
Lots of love
Lainey xxx:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
I'll be thinking of you.:bighug1:
freakedout
22-10-08, 14:40
Hi Milly,
Just wanted to wish you well with your meeting, although I expect it will be over now. I hope things go ok and that you cope with it alright. You know we are all here to support you.
Take care,
Freaky
milly jones
22-10-08, 16:33
hi guys thank you for ur kind words, but im no longer a teacher anymore
they gave me a dismissal notice due to my absence and my contract will be terminated at the end of the year.
i intend to try and apply for early retirement on the grounds of ill health but my union have told me it is very difficult to achieve thru and/dep illness as the illness is likely to improve before i am 60.
so what do i do next, i presume im entitled to some sort of benefits, tho i think id be lucky to get incapacity benefit too knowing how everything is being clamped down on
in some ways my head is relieved as i dont ever have to face my staff again and the possible ridicule of the stigma of being mentally ill, and a failure in my career
thanks anyway guys, just hope i go up and not down over the next few weeks
take care
thank you for all the words of support
milly xxx
hiya milly i am so sorry and i really wish i could say something helpful to u at the moment, im sure people on here will b able to advise u but im sending hugs to u and i been thinking of u today xx
Hiya hun sorry 2 hear whats happened was so shocked when u text me xxxx
You will def get benefits if you are out of work they cant expect you 2 live on fresh air xxx
It will be a huge relief off your mind and you will have your ups and downs m8 ....but you WILL get through this and you have our support 2 help you through it .
and finally you will ALWAYS be a teacher hun ...once a teacher always a teacher ..and maybe in time you could do home tutoring something 2 think about xxxxxxxxx
big big hugs m8 xxxxxxxxxx
Titch xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs:
milly jones
22-10-08, 16:42
ty donna xx
milly jones
22-10-08, 16:42
ty titch xx
fairyloveheart
22-10-08, 16:46
Sorry to hear this Milly, huge hugs. Not sure what else to say, except thinking of you xxx
Hello Dear Milly:hugs:
I'm Very Sorry to hear what's happened today.:hugs:
Please remind yourself of what I've said in my previous posts on this thread, in particular regarding benefits.
The new benefit takes effect from the 27th of THIS month so although I'm sure you'll be ok, I would urge you to put in a claim for incapacity benefit immediately because you won't know if you qualify until you apply.
There used to be a "FREE" DSS helpline regarding benefits and I would have thought it still exists so please think about ringing them as they will help to ease your worries.
When I lost my job due to anxiety I was Very Worried about the future but looking back it was the best thing that happened to me and eventually everything worked out for the better.
Don't regard this as failing.....they didn't deserve you!!! Now you can take time out and work on getting better without the stress they've been causing you so you come back stronger to work with people who will appreciate you for being the caring woman that you Are.:bighug1:
I am not sure 100% but I have a friend who is on disability benefit for anxiety, also incapacity she has not worked for 8 10 years. Also not sure but I dont think they can dismiss you if your ill your ill. See a solicitor quick get some advise dont be bullied into anything. I am sure this is all making you feel a lot worse so sendimg love and hugs:bighug1: Good luck with everything it is a shi*ty illness but onne that can be overcome teaching is very stressful job prehaps something else would be better anyway.
Sorry to hear your news Milly.
Big hugs to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Carol
x
Hi Milly
I am so sorry to hear the news. My heart goes out to you hun. Take care just now while you process the news and then we can all chip in with benefit advice and ideas about employment when you feel able.
Hugs Milly
love Pooh xx
So sorry to hear what happened today.
Milly
Thinking of you hunney, go to the CAB for advice or do you have an agency in your area whom can offer you advice re benefits, I cannot believe that they have let you go, it was probably the job that added to your stresses in the first place.
Things usually happen for a reason sweetheart sometimes that reason is not clear at the time it may take months or even years to realise that this could be the best thing that has happended to you your life will take a different path and you may look back on this as a turning point which made things a hell of a lot better for you.
Sending you love and best wishes
Heather
milly jones
22-10-08, 19:59
aww ty everyone
my heads bursting with all this
ive had some bad news today as well so everything is upside down
but thank you for everything my friends
one good thing to come out of my anx is meeting and having friends on nmp, thank you so much
mill xxxxx
Hi Milly
Im so sorry to hear yr news
:bighug1: love mandie
Sorry to hear things didn't go as well as you'd hoped.
Still, you should be eligible for benefits if you put a claim in *quickly*
(Get an emergency appt to see your GP and get a sicknote, to claim Incapacity Benefit).
Presumably you are still *qualified* to teach, and can therefore do the odd bit of Supply-Teaching, or even Home Tutoring, if you feel up to it?
Best wishes.
milly jones
22-10-08, 20:55
daft question
where u get forms for to apply for incapacity benefit?
Aww milly,
so sorry to hear that, but i can understand how you would at the same time be relieved.
The local benefits office will be able to help you hun, i'll see if i can find the number near you.
di xx
milly jones
22-10-08, 21:19
thanks di im exhusted tonite
Hi Milly
this link should give you plenty info
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/FinancialSupport/DG_10016082
Pooh x
freakedout
22-10-08, 21:39
Milly,
Well done for getting through the meeting, which must have been an ordeal in itself. It is early days, I am sure you will feel a range of emotions as you adjust to the idea that you are no longer employed. If you feel you are entitled to apply for IHR then go for it, you have nothing to lose, you could at least get the application form from the pension agency and see what it entails.
The fact that you have been dismissed from work due to sickness absence should help with your claim for incapacity, make sure you put that on your claim form because it is good evidence that you are not well enough to do your job right now. You can get the forms from local DSS/jobcentre office, or even online I think on the DWP website.
Take Care Milly and if I can help with anything please just shout,
Freaky
thoughts and actions
22-10-08, 22:34
hi milly
i just wanted to say am sorry to hear about the decision made today, i think u r very brave and strong however for being able to go through with the meeting. Well done.
I agree that the support etc on here is fantastic- and we do make some fantastic friends-
you'll be emotionally and physically exhausted just now but there are options now avail to u -
1. You will have so many days to appeal your decision if you feel its warranted.
2. Your local CAB will be able to advise you where you can go from here with regards to benefits etc
xx
milly jones
23-10-08, 11:15
thanks freaky and thoughts
fell like ive been hit by a bus today
every part of my body aches
im so tired and my head is fuzzy
will leave ringing job centre etc for benefits til monday i think
just cant face it atm
ive never been without a job so although yesterday i felt relieved, today i feel low
thanks for ur contact xxxxxxx
Mill, just caught up with this thread, and i cant add anything to the pot of info youve already had mate, but just to say im sorry. You'll obviously have mixed feelings, as well as the sadness there must be some relief toonow that the decision has been made for you so to speak.
I know you have to sort out things financially, but when you start to recover you have the freedom to start again, to choose what to do with your future. You're not too old to go down another path, and it doesnt have to be a high-flying career mill, ive had serious thoughts about renting one of those little shops on llandudno prom and start selling seashells...not brain surgery but feeds the spirit. Ill be able to take bracing walks in my lunch breaks! you think i jest? i jest not. But then i mastered the art of living alone a long time ago, and it seems to work for me. Ive never managed to settle over here...too many germans. so with or without him im coming home when i can.
So mill, if you fancy a bit of hand painting of the seashells, you'll know where to find me.
Take care mate, and be careful with the new meds....ok? xxx :)
milly jones
23-10-08, 11:57
u take care too cath
and if u do come home, ill be waiting xxxx
reachersgal
23-10-08, 12:03
I just wanted to say that I am really sorry you have had to go through all this, and to send a big hug.
X
milly jones
23-10-08, 14:39
ty pet xx
Milly - we have all been following this - it has been one of the most informative threads - i can't fathom the outcome - i naively thought that employers understood this whole thing better than they clearly do. I hope you are able to relaunch yourself so to speak now that you have certainty.
If you don't mind me asking - how long had you been away - how quickly did they pull the trigger ?
Chris
milly jones
23-10-08, 17:38
chris, my original breakdown was autumn 05, i was off sick for 12 months
i had a phased return over 3 months back to my full position.
i lasted 18 months before the anx hit again
ive currently been off for 6 months, and am still unfit to work
they have given me notice of dismissal till the end of the year, when my contract will be terminated
Hello Milly,
Sorry to hear the news. Concentrate on getting better, and gathering your strength - there will be plenty more opportunities waiting for you in time to come. Rosie x x
milly jones
23-10-08, 18:15
ty rosie x
reachersgal
23-10-08, 20:33
I think Rosie has hit the nail on the head. It is so important for you to get well again and I'm sure things will get better than they are. But you are very important and perhaps this enforced time off (which I still think is very harsh and makes me cross that your employer has shown such little understanding) will enable you to take a further step along the journey and that when you are much better, (and I think for myself I have had a few yrs of being ok then a few yrs not ok and it seems to go in cycles.) The next door will open.
Take Care
milly jones
24-10-08, 13:26
thanks reachersgal
i guess ur right, a break will help
mills xx
Hiya Millie
I have been paying close attention to all your trials with work etc, probably for selfish reasons I am on a sickness monitoring thing in work after taking three months off in April with my breakdown? I managed to get to work in June July Aug no problem but went the drs on Tuesday and she has put me off for 2 weeks she has also prescribed Citalopram, I know work will hit me with all kinds of HR meetings referral to drs etc etc my anxiety is through the roof at the moment and the one of the few things keeping me going is the folk on here and knowing that I am not alone in this,
so sorry that work have treated you so badly, sometimes it makes me really mad that people like us have struggled to hold down jobs make a contribution to society and then get kicked in the teeth just when we need support, may be this will be your turning point love.
Heather
:bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1::bighug1:
milly jones
24-10-08, 13:50
hey hunny
dont let my situation worry u
ive been off work far longer than u pet and i guess as the occ health have said i will not return in the forseeable future they had no option but to give me marching orders
just glad that my ordeals may help other nmpers who may be going thru the same difficulties
ty for ur wishes heather xxxxx
milly jones
27-10-08, 18:17
well had my letter today confirming my dismissal due to ill health, so its all formally done now
just got to fight to see if i can access my pension and/or benefits to live
funny waking up thinking il never have to worry all night about what ive done in work that day
although i feel down, its a bit of a relief tbh
thanks to all my mates on nmp xxxxxxxxx :hugs:
Hi Milly
Im new to this site - but i work for jobcentreplus and dont see any reason why u wont get incapacity benefit? if you dont qualify for it for some reason you would get income support
Hope you ok
Burnsey x
milly jones
27-10-08, 18:24
ty burnsey
its getting up the courage to make the call or visit, im not a very sociable person
im paid till end of year, so i guess theres no hurry
ty mills xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Milly
Least you know you can get something when your pay stops - u dont have to call in just phone up when the time comes, they will send you a form out to sign then thats it
x
milly jones
27-10-08, 19:47
ok ty for ur help xxx
eternally optimistic
27-10-08, 21:25
Hi Milly
Just wanted to send your best wishes and hope that you are OK.
milly jones
06-11-08, 19:27
ty jackie
feeling v low and just cant be bothered with anything, including my beloved nmp, sorry guys
love to all my mates
milly hun, didnt realise u were back matey, i was hoping u would feel better after a little break sweety, im here if u need me matey xxxx
its nice to see your name on here again i missed seeing it xxxx
Hi Milly huge hugs ..be in touch soon m8 xxxxxxxxxx:hugs:
milly jones
07-11-08, 15:35
im ok, just cant see any light at the end of the tunnel, just everlasting darkness until i die
at least whilst i had a job i had a purpose
everyday is the same now
milly jones
10-11-08, 17:25
had letter regarding incapacity benefit and the finish of the council paying my ssp
was dreading call cos i hate the phone, but i coped with a lovely lady who was very patient and understanding
the call took 40 mins and i have to claim the new benefit, not ib
some questions were difficult as i dont really know whats going to be happening over the next 2 months as i 'finish' my employment
another rung of the ladder climbed tho
mill xx
:D I can really relate to this. I taught for 13 years in a private school and had several hearings and warnings before I was sacked. The final hearing was when the head had a solicitor with him. I do get incapacity now though. I thought I was at rock bottom but 4 years on I have a very different life although I do miss teaching. I still have the panic and anxiety but at the time my gp told me to think of myself as 'retiring' from teaching and beginning a new chapter and this attitude has really helped. I know exactly how you feel and believe me there is life on the other side.
milly jones
10-11-08, 18:08
thanks alison
its hard to give it up as its who i am
Milly I am so sorry to hear about this. I have been thinking about you. Keep us posted how you get on if you find new work and with your benefits OK?
Remember we are all here for you.
Sue x
milly jones
11-11-08, 15:35
thanks sue
im pretty sure that there are loads of us out there in the same boat
just waiting for the paper statement from the dep works and pensions to come for the benefit
and for the psychiatrists report to see if i can qualify to early entitlement to my pension thru ill health
thanks to all nmpers xx
freakedout
11-11-08, 16:04
Hi Milly,
its hard to give it up as its who i amOh I know that so well. It is surprising really just how important work is and the role we have at work does indeed make up a part of who we are.
I am still stuck in that rut really, it is hard to let go despite retirement, and if I could choose any job today I would still do the job I retired from. For me everything felt very flat after my contract of employment was terminated, although it was a relief there was an overwhelming sense of failure and loss. I am still not over it now, I dont suppose I ever will be, and I know it is difficult to look forward when there seems nothing to look forward to.
I can't really say much to reassure you because unfortunately it is a big deal for us both, and something which in time we have to try to come to terms with. What I can say is that I know, I really know how you feel and yes it is depressing. However, it is such early days for you Milly, try to focus on your health right now and hopefully your sense of purpose will return when you start to recover.
Hang on in there, you are in my thoughts.
Freaky
Hi there, I'm new on here, but I really empathise with you on this. I know how you feel. I worked in Admin at a primary school for 16 years and following a terrible time with the then headteacher (my line manager), following a verbal attack including blocking me in the office while she went off on one, I went home and have been unable to return to work. The authority denied any wrong doing, the headteacher was given early retirement! I am on incapacity benefit:weep: It's been a hard slog for the last 2 years and I'm still not able to work. It makes me so :mad: that this can happen. I'm sure if they dismiss you and you are not able to work, you should be entitled to some benefit (I know it's not called incapacity now). Also has your union offered some advice about adaptions at work under the DDA? Maybe this could help to take some pressure off you if you go back? Occupational health should have considered the DDA when they saw you the first time you were off. If they didn't they are at fault especially if they are saying you are unfit at present. If they didn't offer any adaptions to help you, maybe that's why you in the situation you are now? Take care and try and get as much information as possible. Check the links for disability from the jobcentreplus website. :bighug1:
milly jones
11-11-08, 18:13
they did want to offer adaptations eg part time but the hospital said i am unfit for work, and i would have had to return to work straight away
they just couldnt wait any longer i guess
when i went back first time i was determined to get back to work, despite the advise of the doctors
this time i have listened to them. they say that if i rturn to work it will happen over and over again
its better to take the break and try to heal as much as possible until i feel strong enough to face people again
i just hope that the state can help me out financially until that time comes
i do feel p***ed off that ive worked for 22 years and paid my taxes and now i have to beg for money now im ill
but such is life i guess
the union have been with me and ensured that the law has been followed. the only possible concern twas that i could have fought for a bit longer as i was on 1/2 pay, but the meetings took so much strength, and i lost so much dignity, it was better to go gracefully, or as gracefully as i could muster that day.
i cant go back pet, they have dismissed me and given me notice.
the battle will be to try and access my pension early as the hospital have to state that i would be unfit to work as a teacher until im 60, which is hard for them to fortell. if i had cancer it would be an automatic step, but anxiety can go away.
my view is that now they have diagnosed a personality disorder, that will not go away. i will have to learn to deal with it.
we will just have to wait and see
love to u all
mill xx
milly jones
11-11-08, 18:30
freaky wrote -
'I am still stuck in that rut really, it is hard to let go despite retirement, and if I could choose any job today I would still do the job I retired from. For me everything felt very flat after my contract of employment was terminated, although it was a relief there was an overwhelming sense of failure and loss. I am still not over it now, I dont suppose I ever will be, and I know it is difficult to look forward when there seems nothing to look forward to.'
thats just how im feeling: theres no tomorrow, just endless hours to wait for nothing, no purpose
hope that this passes soon as i dont want to go down the black hole again
hi milly, sending u tuesday hugs matey xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
how did your trip go? staying with your friend, did u manage to have a break?
milly jones
12-11-08, 20:51
hugs back to u matey
it was ok. weather was snowy so son couldnt kayak. he did go indoor climbing tho.
hes been off all week with tummy bug so will be glad to get back into my own peace and quiet now hes going back to school. love him to bits but hes sooo noisy, never stops chattering.
cheers for caring xxxx
awww thats kids for u isnt it hehe, mine never stop talking, dunno where they get it from haha.
sounds like he had fun, i hope u enjoyed it too.
r u feeling any better at all milly? is it since the meds that u have felt really bad? i know recently with your job etc has been very tough on u but just wondered how the meds r affecting you?
wish i could b more help mils, but sending u hugs xxxxx
milly jones
14-11-08, 18:49
ty donna
the meds make me miss all morning, but i have been sleeping/ and able to relax more at night
i dont think the depressive component in the cocktail is right yet, they did say they would change my ad again
i think the antipsychotic really helps my thoughts, but ive put on 21/2 stone with it, so im unhappy that im fat again, thus my self esteem is low
im v worried about money and how we will cope as i was the primary earner, and until all the benefits etc are sorted we dont know where we stand, and its just before xmas too.
i think im more shut inside that i was when i was still 'employed'. the future still seems bleak. i cant make any plans cos of not knowing whats going to happen with money.
im feeling less sociable too, havent got patience/concentration for nmp.
guess it will pass as things sort
ty so much for caring donna xxxxx
Hiya Milly ......
Just wanted 2 give you huge hugs :hugs:
You have been through a big thing hun part of who u are has been taken away and u are in a place where you cant see it getting better but all I can say is it can and will it just takes time and adapting 2 a new way of life .....each thing is a new and diferent step in your life and this step doesnt have 2 be the end hun it can be the beginning hun ..jst give yourself time xxxxx
Hugs m8y xxxxx
Titchxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I retired due to stress/depression, and wouldn't look for a job now
milly jones
14-11-08, 19:29
thanks titch
clive ive always worked and never been unemployed
its a strange feeling
my head still worries about school even tho im not going back. woke up last night sorting childrens work out in my dreams.
its going to be a while until school is out my system. i spose its then i will be able to move on
funny tho ive been sleeping really well until these last few nights when ive been sorting work stuff again. got to go and empty my classroom of all my belongings.
its in my subconcious mind all the time
take care all xxxxxxxxxxxx
aww mils, it must b really hard trying to come to terms with that, but its a new chapter matey and once these meds get sorted then mayb u will start to feel alive again and b able to focus on something new.
hugs and thinking of u matey xxxxxx
milly jones
15-11-08, 18:15
cheers donna
just had to do something im feeling really s**tty about. hate feeling so embarrassed, but we are broke
a year or so ago i paid some bills for a friend until he received some money he was owed, ive just had to contact him and ask for it back
another mate who was having problems i lent some money, ive just contacted her to ask for it back
feel so ashamed but we need the pennies now
just cant get rid of this guilty feeling, need some reasuring words from my mates please
mill
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
hi mils, u r a good person matey and its lovely u lend money to friends but at end of day u need it back, none of us r made of money and times r hard, im sure if they mates they would understand that anyway hun.
lets hope those friends support and help u too matey cos u sound a wonderful friend.
you have to concentrate on yourself matey now and get yourself feeling better and we are all her for you. hugs xxxxxxxxx
milly jones
15-11-08, 18:34
thanks donna for ur support hunny xxx
just feel so fragile atm
milly jones
16-11-08, 20:37
ty hunny xxx
freakedout
16-11-08, 21:56
Hey Milly,
I know how tough it can be worrying about where your next penny will come from, as for asking your friends for some money back I am sure they will not bat an eyelid at that. It is swings and roundabouts and true friends will bend over backwards for you, just like you did to help them out.
Be strong Milly, I know it is difficult but it will not always be like this, you have big adjustments to make and feel insecure because of the benefits/last wages etc.. once you know where you stand with your finances and feel a bit more secure you will be able to heave a big sigh of relief again. Fight for that pension, you deserve it. Don't hesitate to pm me if you need to.
Take care,
Freaky
milly jones
17-11-08, 15:40
got my form today for esa, no wonder people give up their claims
they filled it in for me over the phone but theres so much info to find out and i hate using the phone
will wait til hb comes home for him to check it
its so much easier to procrastinate and leave it
we still cant sell the car so this month weve more going out than coming in
hate all this
mill xxxx
milly jones
18-11-08, 18:22
had replies from my two friends
one says he hasnt got the money
the other says shell pay when she can
it took so much embarrassment and shame and worry to ask i do hope that they can sort something out. we could really do with the money as i just cant make ends meet this month.
would it just have been easier to try going back to work?
milly jones
19-11-08, 16:30
had bit good news today
hospital are prepared to back my claim for my application for a ill health pension which makes me a little less anxious, although i know its going to be a fight to get it.
but round one to me thank goodness
mill xx
oh good news milly atleast about your pension, i hope your friends pay up soon because u were kind enough to lend them the money, being the good friend you are and now they should realise how desperate you are and pay u back hun.
i dont lend people money anymore cos most of time its blimin hard trying to get it back, you always think of other people matey thats why you r so blimin lovely but now u must look after you and your family and sod the rest, im sure they will manage. hugs and hope u doing ok xxxxxxxxxxx
milly jones
19-11-08, 16:55
ty donna, still long way to go with the pension yet, but at least they didnt refuse flatly
Diane O'Brien
19-11-08, 16:59
Dear Milly
I have just read your thread. I feel I hardly know anybody yet but I just wanted to say its a awful feeling walking away from the job you love and worked hard for. I had to leave a course in which I worked damn hard for, it was midwifery. Anxiety and depression was the root of the cause and I fought so damn hard at the end. I have come to the conclusion that I will never go back to it. I am 37 so its not as if I can go back in 5 years time. I felt totally lost, a failure,:bighug1: wat the hell do I do now.
I am thinkin of you, sorry I don't know the full story I hope you find peace LOL you've got quite a few lovely replies so I'll leave it for now.
Diane xxx
yeah u were given hope matey thats good news, hugs and always think of u mateypies xxxxxxxx keep fighting hun
Hiya Milly .....
Hope you are ok hun .......
I am in same situ with money I have non hun ..I have had 2 lend off friends but I have given it back 2 them straight as my benefits /wages etc go in I hate owing any1 money .
I hope your friends give it 2 u soon as you were kind enough 2 lend it in the 1st place hunx
Do you know all the benefits you can get ?
There is a website that will tell you exactly what you are entitled 2 as some benefits your not told about ...Iwill try find it m8 and send u link xxxxx
Hugs m8 xxxxxx:hugs:
milly jones
19-11-08, 19:03
ty titch
i only applied for incapacity benefit as my hb working
would be grateful for the link pet
mill xxxx
milly jones
19-11-08, 19:09
diane it doesnt matter how well known u are in nmp we are all in the same boat and support one another
ive got no words of wisdom other than to say i wish i was 37 and there is time to start another career, even for me
i just enrolled in a silver clay jewellery course after xmas, more for enjoyment rather than to make pennies, just for the hell of it
if i was at work i wouldnt be able to do it and the class is only 6 plus the tutor and i can always chicken out closer to the time, but it will get me out learning a new skill
ty titch
i only applied for incapacity benefit as my hb working
would be grateful for the link pet
mill xxxx
Ok hun i will have a look 2morra and find it 4 u x
Hugs m8x
Titch xxxxxxxxxx:bighug1:
Diane O'Brien
19-11-08, 21:26
Yeah your so rite. I must think about the future more positively. Enjoy your silver jewellery making and well done you.
Hi Milly
I haven't been around on here for ages and I've only read some of this thread so apologies if I'm repeating stuff.
Firstly I am sure like me you will get your pension. I was a teacher and retired on medical grounds a few years ago. Once I had the backing of the psychiatrist things went through reasonably easily. So I hope that you have some joy there soon. I had been teaching for just over 12 years and my pension was made up to 20 years. I am shocked at how little support your union and occupational help have offered you in this very worrying time. A good work related solicitor would tear strips off them. Unfortunately when you are suffering the last thing you can contemplate is starting off another line of attack. but remember this for the future (within the next 6 years you can still follow this up) and you will hopefully be feeling better by then.
One more thing to help you with financial problems at the moment have you tried contacting the teacher support charity. I had information from them the other day they are there to offer financial support for all teachers working or not. If you contact the teachers pension unit they will be able to give you details. I didn't keep the info but I will try a google search to see if I can find out anything more for you.
Believe me when I say I know how upsetting this situation is for you. I felt so awful when I was dismissed. I felt that I had failed that I was useless I felt that I had been abused by the people who I had given my all to. I was angry and very upset and of course worried about the future. Now I look back and if I'm honest although I miss the kids I think I was mad pushing myself to the lengths I went to. I've learnt to be a little more selfish I can honestly say that my life is so much better now. I have learnt to take the time for myself. I have learnt relaxation techniques and I really enjoy life. I still suffer from anxiety and have had lots of problems coping with panic attacks and agorophobia. I am at last improving and hope to soon post on my recovery. I really hope that you are soon enjoying things again and that this worrying time is something you can look back on and be proud of how well you have managed to come through as I am sure you will. Stay strong and take heart from all the lovely people who are rooting for you.
Take care
love sheba2
milly jones
20-11-08, 14:55
ty titch and diane
sheba ur post really helped me see that there could be a future once this is all sorted out, ty
it is a horrible feeling being dismissed, i feel like ive been naughty and sent away.
and to top everything the dvla are considering withdrawing my license cos of my meds so id be even more isolated
just waiting for occ health to see me for the pension now
mill xx
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=139
Hi Milly you can get lots of advice here ...on the page look where it say start in red and just under there it says benefit check ..if u click on that then it will tel u what 2 do x
hope u r ok hun x
milly jones
20-11-08, 19:21
ty so much titch
ur a good mate xxxx
milly jones
20-11-08, 19:35
used it to check hunny ty xx
Hi Milly
Hope it gave u sum information hun ....its a gud site in general 4 any money probs hun x
Hope u r ok x
Titch xxxxxxxx
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