Need a rant !!!!

[jacqui doll]

:mad: Hi. Felt i needed to write this to try and relieve myself.

Been a mess for past 2 weeks. Phy wanted to admitt me but i refused. Crisis tem out everyday and my Phys sees me twice a week. I have now accepted for the first time that i'm depressed and suffer greatly from aniexty. I am not afraid to tell people and i dont feel embarssed.

Hubby has taken time off to give me 24 hour care and look after kids and house as my depression is very bad and i have gone back to self harming and thinking bad thoughts. Hubby is struggling and i have told him to ask for help from his family but has refused. My mum and dad are helping and my brother travells 80 miles once a week to see me and give hubby time off.

Hubby will not speak to his family and tell them how bad it is and how much he is under pressure. This makes my blood boil. Is he embarrsed of me ???

Things are gettin bad and we argue when i'm not whozzy from med. Many a time i have asked him to speak to them. they live 5 mins away and could be of great help to my hubby. His mum told me the other day to get out and about more and pull myself togerther........ If only i could.......

the more this goes on the worst it makes me feel and leaves me feeling worthless, gulity and anger. Why does my husband want to protect his family form my 'illness'. Things are just about running on a dialy basis. He has told friends how ill i am yet he will not let them nnow.

I am probaly being selfish, i hace accepted my illness but we do need outside help from family and friends to avoid them takin me to hospital, My kids are my life and if i couldnt see them everyday it would break my heart and be the end of me.

Sorri for the essay, needed to relieve some tenison and aniexty.

Thanks:wacko:

[titch]

good on you hun for not being embarassed.. speak to your hubby and let him know that you definatly want him to tell his family tell him what you told us...things will get better hun... xx

[titchjd]

Hiya hun sorry you having a tough time x
Has your hubby said why he doesnt want his family 2 know ?
what has he told them so far ..lie why hes having time off work .

Its very hard for people who dont understand 2 accept that anxiety can be sooooooooo bad I have that many people say 2 me oh ul be fine get yourself out and enjoy yourself we all get stressed .....ermmmmm dont they think I would if I could .

Would it be a possibility 2 talk 2 his mom yourself and explain what you are going through and thatyou would really appreciate some help ...or would this cause tension between u and your hubby ?

If it starts 2 affect the children then I think you have aright 2 make the decision 2 tell them and get help hun .

Best wishes hun x
Titchjd xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[kendo59]

Phew, this post really stikes a chord with me, and I really commiserate with your (& your hubby's) predicament.
I, too, struggle to accept how 'ill' I am, and so I understand that my partner has difficulty understanding how deeply this depression & anxiety affects those of us who suffer with it.
Perhaps your hubby is not so much embarrassed by you, but simply thinks his family wouldn't understand, and thinks it is his place to look after you without calling in their help??
I understand and empathise with your situation, especially the guilt, arguments, frustrations, etc.
You're not alone, and there are people here who understand all too well.
Best wishes.

[jacqui doll]

Thanks for takin the time to response to my rant.

Titch I think hubby is embarssed and he is scared to say anything to his family as he probably thinks they will offer no help and that will hurt him. (we were in the same situation 4 yrs ago and no help was offered or provided). They think that i need to give myself a shake and get on with it.....

Hubby has been great but he is burning out and is scared of letting me down, i am then worry about him and the kidz....vicious circle........

The stress his family are putting us under is mad and they don't even releaize it............

Thanks:wacko:

[sheena]

I have no family near me and had to rely on my daugher and my ex husband.
When I was bad when my son was younger my husband could not cope with me and basically used to ignore me. I used to end up going into hospital and when I came home the house would be in a mess. he did not even open the post it was all piled up on the dining room table. I divorced him after 4 years of marriage. He is not the ex who supports me now he is my daughter's dad.

Try and get some help from the NHS. I needed to get help as my daughter ended up severely depressed trying to look after her independant mum who has become completely dependant on

her.

My psychiatrist sent a social worker around to see me. He had a support worker with him who was knowledgeable on mental health issues. He used to come around one day a week and I could always telephone him. This took the burden off my daughter and she gradually got better and is living her life to the full now.

Sheena