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Alcoholism
History and science have shown us that the existence of the disease of
alcoholism is pure speculation. Just saying it’s so, doesn’t make it true.
Nevertheless, medical professionals and American culture lovingly embraced the disease concept and quickly applied it to every possible deviant behavior from alcohol abuse to compulsive lecturing.
The disease concept was a panacea for many failing medical institutions adding billions to the industry and leading to a prompt evolution of pop-psychology.
Research has shown that alcoholism is a choice, not a disease, and stripping alcohol abusers of their choice, by applying the disease concept, is a threat to the health of the individual.
http://www.addictioninfo.org/content_images/physician.jpg
In a recent Gallup poll, 90% of people surveyed believe that alcoholism is a disease. Most argue that because the American Medical Association (AMA) has proclaimed alcoholism a disease, the idea is without reproach.
Cancer
What Is Cancer?
Cancer is actually a group of many related diseases that all have to do with cells. Cells are the very small units that make up all living things, including the human body. There are billions of cells in each person's body.
Cancer happens when cells that are not normal grow and spread very fast. Normal body cells grow and divide and know to stop growing. Over time, they also die. Unlike these normal cells, cancer cells just continue to grow and divide out of control and don't die.
Cancer cells usually group or clump together to form tumors (say: too-mers). A growing tumor becomes a lump of cancer cells that can destroy the normal cells around the tumor and damage the body's healthy tissues. This can make someone very sick.
Sometimes cancer cells break away from the original tumor and travel to other areas of the body, where they keep growing and can go on to form mors. This is how cancer spreads. The spread of a tumor to a new place in the body is called metastasis (say: meh-tas-tuh-sis).
(if only you could just Quit cancer!)
Realising this has helped me and shown me that i have the power to quit! i hope it will help someone out Alcoholics you do have the power!
there are places out there to help Alcoholics you do not have to go threw this alone. what
helped me was realising i dont have to live like this! i am not Sick!!!! cancer paitents would love the chance Alcoholics have.
Alcoholics Anonymous is just another suggestion
please share if you have any helpful links on alcoholism :hugs: lets all be open to advice and hear what eachother has to say:winks:
eeyorelover
13-10-08, 14:23
Substance abuse is a problem that is prevalent with people who suffer from anxiety related issues. That is unfortunate but true.
In my opinion it is a topic that warrants discussion on the forum.
Thanks for the information.
xxx
Sandy
i am not in any kind of way trying to get anyone to leave the site nmp.. it has helped me so much! i am thankful. how ever i have read threads where people have serious illnesses and questions that nmp has no answer to. i have seen people recomend links. thats all im trying to do :) im just seeking advice and opinions from others.. nothing more Cathy :) i hope you understand. :)
eeyorelover
13-10-08, 14:42
Can I just add this thought ...
If a person has anxiety and they start self medicating, whatever the substance....
would the resulting alcohol problem be a result of the anxiety?
What I mean is wouldn't the fact that the person was self medicating be a direct result of the anxiety itself?
That is the way I look at it anyway.
Because I truly believe this to be so I personally think it's a great idea to discuss the issue on the forum.
I do agree that being part of a substance abuse forum would be of great support to someone who is suffering with such a problem but that person would also be warranted to post about said issues on this forum as the two problems are so intertwined.
So glad we can have a open intelligent conversation about things like this.
xxx
Sandy
Theories of Alocohol Addiction
Thanks for that. Yes disease model is very prevalent in the USA and is the model that Alcoholics Anonymous uses.
I have a few more theories:
SOCIOLOGICAL MODELS
It has been suggested that societies that produce higher levels of inner tension such as guilt, stress, suppressed aggression, conflict and sexual tensions have higher rates of drinking and drug use. This idea suggests that the primary role of alcohol use is to reduce anxiety
PSYCHOLOGICAL MODELS
Pesychological models view heavy alcohol use as problem behaviours. An induvidual drinks to enjoy the effects of alcohol. Under these models a drinker is not bad or deficient in any way. Anyone can become addicted to alcohol because of the way our bodies and minds work, and because of alcohol affects our bodies and minds.
SOCIAL LEARNING THEORY
This is a psychological model of understanding problematic alcohol use. It is based on results of scientific experimentation and study. It proposes that alcohol use is learned and continues because the user gets some desired outcome from it. We also learn to drink in reponse to certain stimuli - people, places, things, events, thoughts and feelings. Under this model, users are not bad or defective people with some abnormality. Anyone can become addicted to alcohol because of the way that alcohol affect our minds and bodies.
MORAL THEORY
Moral theories and models are based on beliefs or judgments of what is right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable. These judgements imply that people who use alcohol are bad or sinful people. There is something morally with people who use alcohol heavily. This model contributes little or no understanding of why people use alcohol heavily and offers no real help to those who have problems in their lives because of alcohol.
BIOLOGICAL MODEL
Biological models of addiction assume that people addicted to alcohol have a biological abnormality that cause them to become addicted. Like the moral model there is something wrong with these people. However, what is wrong is assumed to be something physical that is beyond the control of the individual. These people are not sinful or bad, but they are sick.
Source:
Ranin, J.G., Etiologh, Vol. 8 or Core Knowledge in the Alcohol Field. Ottawa: Non-medical use of Drugs Directorate, National Health and Welfare, 1998.
Sheena
Plenty more where that came from Cathy. My uni dissertation was on Woman who have probems with drink and what help is available.
I also did a assignment on the effect alcohol has on the children of the family
and also the affect of alcohol on the Carribean and Asian communities.
Please feel free to ask me any questions and I will do my best to give you answers.
Wish you well
Sheena
Hi eeyhore
Alcohol is a drug and is a depressants one. It is well argued that did the anxiety cause the drinking or was the anxiety the result of drinking. Bit of a catch 22 case.
Sheena
Hi
I have to say that when my anxiety was really bad I turned to drinking a bottle of wine each evening just to try and blot everything out, I never really drank much before that so I suppose you could say that alcohol was a way of escaping anxiety for me. I don't drink at all now but I do understand why people turn to alcohol when they are suffering with anxiety and panic symptoms.
Carol
I drunk to aleviate a social pho. bia to start off with. I found that once I had a couple of drinks inside me it helped to relax me in company. I also liked the affect it gave me.
I soon found that I was using the alcohol to change the way I felt. If I felt anxious, depressed or I had a problem in my life that I did not know how to approach or deal with.
I was in the RAF and we used to drink before we went out socially and of course to get drunker quicker and cheaply. However my anxiety got so bad that someone only had to look at me and I would blush teriribly. So now I had to have a drink to get me out to stop me blushing. The blushing was just on going. Eventually I started to go AWol for days at a time and drinking on the job so they decided that my services were no longer required- temporaily unsuited. So they chucked me out.
Then tmy life really started to spiral out of control.....
Sheena
confusedmrangry
13-10-08, 17:10
Sheena, I presume you were pregnant with your children in the RAF then?
Or did you fall pregnant after that, when your drinking took hold out of the services? From what I read about your life so far, was the pregnancy under the influence of alcohol and did you actually mean to get married, or was it all under a cloud of your addiction? Did you make mistakes? Do you regret them, marriage, pregnancy etc. (asked as I feel im in a similar situation myself)
Discuss
Children whose parents drink too much are children at risk. They are at risk of physical and emotional neglect or abuse, of unhappy, stressful childhoods and of serious problems in adult life.
Living with a problem drinking parent is very difficullt for children. It can take away a young persons's childhood forcing them to shoulder responsibilities far beyond what could be expected, The ordinary routines of family life are fraught with difficulties because driunkers tend to behave in unpredictable ways, often swinging wildly between being aggressive and violent, silently withdrawn, or talkative and emotional.
Often children feel guilty and to blame, believing that if they were better behaved or more successful their parent would have no need to drink. Some children become difficult and unruly, some withdraw into themselves. Virtually all children who has a parent with an alcohol problem fees lonely and 'switched off', both from relationships with their famiy and with other people, in particular because families often work very hard to keep problem drinking a secret from the rest of the world.
Children of problem drinking parent(s) are very clearly a group at risk of physical or emotional neglect or abuse. Studies have shown. throughout the world in these situations have difficut, stressful childhoods which in some cases lead on to serious problems in adult life.
Sheena
Hi
No I was 22 years old when I left the RAF. I had my first child, my son, when I was 26 years old. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I stopped drinking.
He was premature and was initially put in an incubator. I left the baby unit he had to stay in for another 2 weeks. My husband was not supportive and I did the only thing I knew to kill the pain and bewilderment was to start drinking again. I used to have bouts where I would drink for a couple of weeks and then stop for a few months. At that stage I was able to 'control' the amount I took. Just topping up during the day to keep away the shakes.
I also did not drink when I was pregnant with my daughter.
The first really big bad mistake I made was to marry my son's father. Looking back I think he has apspergers syndrome - cannot show emotion and does not know how to react to other people's emotion in an appropriate manner.
I divorced him after 4 years having lef him once.
There were a lot more bad decisions I took along my road into the mires of alcoholism.
I eventually after stopping and starting stopped drinking when my daughter was born. I had tried many ways to stop. I've dragged my son off to all different religous denominations but that didn't work. I tried group therpy and saw psychiatirists and psycholgists and had my fair share of inpatient times.
I eventually joined AA and it worked for me. There were people who had been where I was and done much worse things than me.
I found people that just wanted to see me get better. I had a lot of people's telephone numbers that I could ring night or day. I got myself a sponsor and gradually I learnt that it is okay to be Sheena. I was never a bad person. I was always a quite unassuming person and thought that I was boring. I now like the way I am warts and all.
I have not been to AA for over 3 years now due to my agoraphobia. My social phobia is still bad (lucky I like my own company) and members who became friends in AA still phone and come around for a cup of coffee.
Sheena
I h
i drink and my kids never have felt lonely and switched off ,there now 16 18 20 very well balanced adults , and my kids were def not neglected abused or anything else, i think thats unfair to say that in fact im fuming at those comments ive looked after my kids very well despite being a alcoholic ,
Also, yes I was drinking when I became pregnant with my children.
I love my children to bits but I must admit I never saw my life as getting married and having children.
I married Claire's dad because I thought I could not cope on my own and we separated 5 months after she was born. So I brought my children up on my own since my daughter was 5 months and my son was 8. They are now 23 and 31 and lead good happy productive lives.
My son was affected by my drinking (I was never violent) . We went to councelling together and gradually he started to trust me that I would not drink again. We had our ups and downs but I said to him once that as a single parent I did not get it right all the time. He said, 'you must have done because I have turned out good'. Just saying that meant all the hard times I had as a single parent all come together and it felt sooo good.
You can PM if you want.
Sheena
I am not pointing the finger at anyone so whoa, what I have written comes from research and mainly from the book 'Under the Influence - coping with parents who drink too much. It is published by Alcohol Concern. There also information from many other research.
Why did you think I was pointing the finger at you. It says discuss at the top. I do not know anything about your life so why would I be saying you are a bad mother,
Sheena
I must agree with you amandaj........I know there are people who neglect children etc due 2 drinking but thats the individual and not all drinkers have problem children etc......my daughter is very well balanced and has so much love she couldnt want more ...I am a single mom who does very well at bringing up my child even with a drink problem.....
Its a very broad statement 2 make and 1 i know why u have made it because there are people who dont look after there children and the children suffer due 2 parents drinking but it doesnt apply 2 everyone .
xxx
i didnt say pointing the finger at me its at alcoholics in general i feel, titch im not sure what to say except well done for doing it its tough but we get there dont we as parents we have to
take care amanda xx
confusedmrangry
13-10-08, 18:02
TBH
Were overdrawn every month, our children, boy and girl, awake us at 0530 every day and I do shift work sometimes finishing late.
My job is high pressured, the children are at a stage where they dont listen. The wife is short fused with them and I work so far from home so I cant be there for her often.
We have one set of grandparents who live closeby, but never help, another lives about 8 miles away in Watford, and does not visit often.
We never get out as a couple any more, there is no childcare. All I do is come home, and then the wife goes to work. We are living an existence, surviving and not a life. I am turning to drink more these evenings, however I know this is not the answer when the money is so short, but it numbs the pain.
The bit about families is not statment but research from USA, Canda and GB.
They are not my opinions but research that has been thoughly collated and brought together under one book.
It does say DISCUSS so maybe you could find some research that disputes the research I have used.
Hope that helps.
Sheena
lol sheene you're like the sort of person I would like to take to a posh dinner party, so when I am bored I can get entertained by you arguing with the other guests ;)
My mother was a chronic alcoholic for years and that made me the sceptical, unfeeling, chip on the shoulder, Victor Meldrew I am today ;), or maybe I would have been like this anyway, who knows.
I think there is degree's of alcohol reliance. I have never felt the need for a drink through the day. Infact, I never drink before the early evening if I have a drink.
But, could I stop drinking? no, maybe, not sure. I must drink what, 3 bottles of wine, and 12 cans of beer in a weekend, the odd drinks through the week,
but ask me to quit for a week? no your ok.
So am I an alcoholic? or do I have a drink problem? or do I just like a drink but drink too much (100 units a week) ?
I think there is such a thing as functional alcoholics, it's all in the definition, but to end up neglecting your kids through drink I would say is the extreme end of the problem.
Jaco
lol sheene you're like the sort of person I would like to take to a posh dinner party, so when I am bored I can get entertained by you arguing with the other guests ;)
My mother was a chronic alcoholic for years and that made me the sceptical, unfeeling, chip on the shoulder, Victor Meldrew I am today ;), or maybe I would have been like this anyway, who knows.
I think there is degree's of alcohol reliance. I have never felt the need for a drink through the day. Infact, I never drink before the early evening if I have a drink.
But, could I stop drinking? no, maybe, not sure. I must drink what, 3 bottles of wine, and 12 cans of beer in a weekend, the odd drinks through the week,
but ask me to quit for a week? no your ok.
So am I an alcoholic? or do I have a drink problem? or do I just like a drink but drink too much (100 units a week) ?
I think there is such a thing as functional alcoholics, it's all in the definition, but to end up neglecting your kids through drink I would say is the extreme end of the problem.
Jaco
Pmsl - Sheena's the type of person you'd take to a posh dinner party:D . Pretty good post's though eh ?
I see your point Jaco, and will agree with the research that was posted was to the 'extreme end of the problem'.
But that's also my own opinion too, I haven't found evidence as such to dispute against this yet lol.
I'm gonna go googling now :roflmao: .
Thanks Sheena, good posts and interesting read. TC.
Off to guitar lessons so will be back on the forum after 9.00 to talk to you all.
Sheena
Off to guitar lessons so will be back on the forum after 9.00 to talk to you all.
Sheena
Oh cool - have a good one :flowers:
TBH
Were overdrawn every month, our children, boy and girl, awake us at 0530 every day and I do shift work sometimes finishing late.
My job is high pressured, the children are at a stage where they dont listen. The wife is short fused with them and I work so far from home so I cant be there for her often.
We have one set of grandparents who live closeby, but never help, another lives about 8 miles away in Watford, and does not visit often.
We never get out as a couple any more, there is no childcare. All I do is come home, and then the wife goes to work. We are living an existence, surviving and not a life. I am turning to drink more these evenings, however I know this is not the answer when the money is so short, but it numbs the pain.
Hiya m8 ....sorry 2 hear u feeling so low ..I understand that feeling m8 and Its very depressing ......and so easy 2 reach 4 something that makes you feel just a little bit better ....a drink now and agin is ok but dont make it habitual hun as you will become more dependent on it and because its a depressant will make you feel worse the next day .....x
I wish you well m8 xxx
eeyorelover
13-10-08, 20:45
Let's try and keep this thread informative and friendly!
Please :)
"Nevertheless, medical professionals and American culture lovingly embraced the disease concept and quickly applied it to every possible deviant behavior from alcohol abuse to compulsive lecturing.
The disease concept was a panacea for many failing medical institutions adding billions to the industry and leading to a prompt evolution of pop-psychology.
Research has shown that alcoholism is a choice, not a disease, and stripping alcohol abusers of their choice, by applying the disease concept, is a threat to the health of the individual."
An interesting and intriguing view. Presumably one could arguably substitute any number of ailments/addictions/phobias in place of 'alcoholism' in this post... drug addiction? depression? anxiety?
Looks friendly enough to me
Let's try and keep this thread informative and friendly!
Please :)
Hope It wasnt me ???????
Let's try and keep this thread informative and friendly!
Please :)
OMG, please don't confuse me any more so Lol.... I thought it was friendly. :shrug:
eeyorelover
13-10-08, 20:52
No everyone is fine I just wanted to post a little reminder just as an FYI :)
No everyone is fine I just wanted to post a little reminder just as an FYI :)
What does FYI mean ?:blush:
eeyorelover
13-10-08, 20:58
for your information :)
Oh ok, but for whose information ???:wacko: Ahhh s**t i'm lost, sorry.
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
eeyorelover
13-10-08, 21:16
Hi Katie -
I was just posting it for everyone's information.
Oh ok, but for whose information ???:wacko: Ahhh s**t i'm lost, sorry.
This post has been automatically edited by the NMP post filter
Thanx eeyorlover ..I understand you have 2 keep an eye on posts and hopefully they will stay friendly hun xxxxxx
Titchjd xxxxxxxxx
Hi Katie -
I was just posting it for everyone's information.
Ohh ok, no worries.
Sorry,.. I swear i'm going insane.
:flowers: x
eeyorelover
13-10-08, 21:52
Ohh ok, no worries.
Sorry,.. I swear i'm going insane.
:flowers: x
Hey believe me, today I'm right there with ya!!!!
LOL
xxx
Sandy
Hi Confusedmangry.
Sorry I have taken so long to get back to you.
May I suggest that the first thing you do is to try and make some time to sit down with your wife. I know it might be difficult with your work schedules but try and sort some time out to talk to each other so that you can gain some semblance of control back in your life. Like you say the alcohol numbs the pain but your problems are still there the next day and nothing gets resolves. A bit like being on a roundabout that you can never get off. You and your wife need to talk about your problems that you perceive are affecting your lives. Change comes about gradually.
When I was working and the children were old enough to understand I had a rule that neither of them came downstairs in the morning until I had had my breakfast. It gave me that time to get my act together and have a bit of peace before my hetic schedule took off. 5.30 am is early. I don't know but can you maybe ask them to quitely go downstairs and play with their toys or watch the TV. I don't know how you and your wife would feel about this.
You don't say how old your children are - are they, or at least one of them, able to get a place at nursery which would give your wife some time to spend with herself. My son works shifts, and I know his wife gets really uptight sometimes with the children.
Maybe you can both free some time up and go out as a family.
Or take an interest up. I am going to evening classes to learn to play the guitar. I want to sing the blues lol.
I'm sure if you get back some control in your life that you will find that the drinking will not be come such a problem.
I hope I have been some help to you. All I can do is speak from experience.
Sheena:bighug1:
Hii Cathy
Nice of you to pop in. Take your time reading the posts. Like all new threads it can get a bit hectic at times.
Sheena
Hi I Jaco45er.
I'm sorry about your growing up with an alcoholic mum. Have you ever had any counselling for how it has made you feel? I know it helped my son when he was young.
No-one can say if you have a problem with alcohol - it would have to come from you.
It does seem rather a lot. Does the amount you drink affect your health?
The rule of the thumb is when your alcohol consumption is costing you more than money. For example: your health, your relationships with your family, feeling ill at ease, grumpy lol, anxious, depressed, the what did I do last night feeling, your work and any more you can think of.
I hope this is some help to you.
When are we going to that posh do:roflmao:
Sheena
Alcoholism has clearly become a sensitive subject on the NMP boards. To avoid further upset, all alcoholism threads will be closed while the admin review the situation. Please respect this decision and refrain from creating new threads about alcoholism.
A statement will be released by the admin on the announcements forum in due course.
NMP Admin Team
Thread reopened. Please read the guidelines for alcoholism threads here (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?p=402628#post402628) before posting on the subject.
Hi
The thread is now open.
Sheena
confusedmrangry
15-10-08, 21:05
wheres cathy v gone? why is she banned? ooooooh!
I have not got a clue
Sheena
DO YOU AGREE or DISAGREE :shrug:
The stigma attached to alcohol problems is probably the major reason that people worried about their drinking find it difficult to seek advice and help - most do not do so until a crisis point is reached. Parents are especially reluctant to ask for help with their drinking because of the stigma attached to 'not coping' as a parent and because of serious concerns about social services' involvement.
Sheena
great posts guys
ive managed to get through tonight without a drop of alcohol
i feel great
Emma xxx
That's really good. At least you won't wake up with the dreaded hangover tomorrow. Way to go.
Sheena
great posts guys
ive managed to get through tonight without a drop of alcohol
i feel great
Emma xxx
thats so awesome memyself good job! im glad this thread is helping you! thats what its all about!:hugs:
DO YOU AGREE or DISAGREE :shrug:
The stigma attached to alcohol problems is probably the major reason that people worried about their drinking find it difficult to seek advice and help - most do not do so until a crisis point is reached. Parents are especially reluctant to ask for help with their drinking because of the stigma attached to 'not coping' as a parent and because of serious concerns about social services' involvement.
Sheena
curious what are your feelings on that sheena?
keepemlaughing
16-10-08, 01:22
I was born an alcoholic with a addictive personality. I had alcoholic parents which didn't help my situation much. I tend to do things compulsively and do every thing to extreme, including drugs and alcohol. I am in recovery, but the desire never really goes away. I am always one day away from a relapse. I thought I was drinking to get rid of anxiety, but in effect I was probably causing more of it.
hello all ( warning bad spelling ahead )
i have been reading your threat for awhile and i agree with what your saying about alcoholism being an addiction and not a deasese
for it is like any addiction a good example is my addiction to world of warcraft, i spend more time on it each day then i have spent sleeping
anyhow im glad to see this threat is helping those who need it :) i hope to see this threat going on for awhile
Hugs for all :hugs: :hugs:
Hi I Jaco45er.
I'm sorry about your growing up with an alcoholic mum. Have you ever had any counselling for how it has made you feel? I know it helped my son when he was young.
No-one can say if you have a problem with alcohol - it would have to come from you.
It does seem rather a lot. Does the amount you drink affect your health?
The rule of the thumb is when your alcohol consumption is costing you more than money. For example: your health, your relationships with your family, feeling ill at ease, grumpy lol, anxious, depressed, the what did I do last night feeling, your work and any more you can think of.
I hope this is some help to you.
Sheena Sheena Sheena :)
I didn't post it for help or sympathy, just have experience with it that's all.
I don't need counselling, it's never held me back.
It has to come from me? I say no then.
My health? I am not an old hunched up wee man lol
Although I get what you are saying, if it ever affected any part of my personal or business life I would sort it out.
I used to get really angry about my mum drinking herself into a near coma, so much so that in my teens I was in trouble with the law, and I used to resent happy families, and always seen anyone who needed their family as weak.
Years on I realised that this was just me being envious, and lets face it, there isn't that many perfect families about lol.
My mother now is a tee-total sweet wee lady (she always was apart from drinking) and to her credit, she finally took help and recovered fully.
do I regret being brought up with it? did it cause my anxiety? who knows. I think on my mothers side there is anxiety (several drink related deaths too) and on my Dads side they are the complete opposite (they are the type that leave a scrap yard a lot heavier than when they went in, rogues I tell ya).
No I don't regret it. I think it gave me some good skills and even though I left school with nothing at 15, I am a director of 2 companies, and those early years gave me a "you're no better than me pal" attitude, which helps in business I think.
Do I worry I will drink to that extend? well I am 41, and although hands up I drink too much, if I was going to be like that it would have happened already.
Interesting stuff though.
Jaco
jaco
you put all that so well it was like i was thinking it myself
i grew up with my dad drinking far far to much and seeing him get more and more ill to a point were it was me having to sit in icu while he it was looking like he was not going to make it .he is not a drinker now and unfortunately for him he is still ill coz of it and wont get better .
but as for it affecting me ,no not at all in a way it did as i kid coz like you i got into bother did all the wrong things and went a bit wild ,but that's about it ,i know i am stronger for it i independent and get on with things on my own i don't need help in my life i never have and i don't think it has done me any harm in the end i just deal with it what else can you do but get up and get on with things no point in over thinking or feeling sorry for myself .
jodie xxx
wheres cathy v gone? why is she banned? ooooooh!
Cathy who?:roflmao:
Ok Malv, you have bounced the ball back in my court. So here goes:
Despite the difficulties and unhappiness of living in a family where a parent is drinking, children and young people often work very hard to keep it from the outside world. The children understand that on the whole drinkers do not get a sympathetic response and are more likely to be criticised and stigmatised when helped. Very often they are afraid that the official response will be to split up the family.
Sheena
/
My fathers drinking has affected but not in a bad way. my father was never there for me, he was always distant and when he did spend time with me and my siblings he was drunk. Anyways because of those experience i dont drink and im always making sure i have time for my son.. infact i am very strict about that.. i moved from America all the way to Australia just so i didnt have to be a distant dad (long story) .. all tho it was my fathers alcoholism is what i blame for making him distant twards me and my siblings. i dont want to be distant to my son is in Any kind of way, and i :roflmao: dont drink because i dont his memories of me to be like the memories i have of my dad.. always drunk and yelling at my mother(a good women) ... and thats not even the half of it. i already lived that life.. i promised my son a better life.
Hi Jacoer5
Sorry picked you up wrong. Like you say you are fine with the amount you drink and that it is not affecting your life, so that is good.:yesyes:
You have done very well - director of two companies - and that is with leaving school at 15 years of age. You must be a very driven man.
That is good that your mum sought help and does not drink anymore.
Have a good day and don't work to hard - delegate - :D
Hi Malv
I think that is really fantastic that you do not want to repeat how your father was to you, by making sure you are there for you son and interested in his life.
My mum was not a drinker. I have an older and a younger brother and it was obvious that she did not like girls. This lead to a lot of physical and emotional abuse to me from her. She's dead now.
Like you, in bringing up my children I have brought them up letting them know that I am always there for them, whatever. I think parents should always remember that that child is going to grow up.
Hows the weather in Australia?
Best wishes
Sheena
HOT :noangel: .
yeah im so proud of my son he's such a beautiful boy he is 2 years old now.. i have no idea how my father could drink like that missing me grow up it was horrible.. teaching myself to shave.. teaching myself to be a man
.. i could never imagin doing that to my son.. even if i were to have a drink i would never ever let it take over my life to where i cant be a father to my son i just dont know how people can allow them selves to get that taken over by alcohol.. i come from a long line of alcoholics and i am in total control of how i drink ''if i do drink wich is rare for me to do''
Re: Earlier post of how children are affected by a parent's drinking. I have found some more research, whilst not disputing the original post, does give a different side:
Not all children of problem drinking partents, or even a majority of them, experience problems that require treatment in adulthood. Many of them have a difficult childhood, but there seems to be factors which help them to weather this. Some of the research suggests that the negative effects of parental drinking problems are seen only indirectly by way of the effect on family disharmony. Once this effect is reduced or elminated there is apparently little measurable long term effect.
Ref: Velleman, R. (1983). 'The importance of family discord in explaining childhood problems in the children of problem drinkers', Addiction Research, Vol 1, pp39-57.
Sheena
Oh Malv - 2 is such a lovely age. Walking, talking and knowing what no means. And he has you to walk every step with him. Never lonely, never alone.
Sheena
.
Hi Sheryl
That good that you are in recovery. I am of an addictive nature as well.
I stopped smoking using the nicotine chewing gum. It then took me two years to come off the gum lol.
I would love to smoke again but I had to give up because of emphysenia.
Smoking cost me money and my health but drinking wrecked my mental health and the people close to me. Along with the low self-esteem no confidence and guilt and, 'oh what did I do last night problem'.
It's still a day at a time though.
Do you feel better in yourself?
Sheena
d
Hi
Do you find with your addictive nature to alcohol that you have to watch you don't get addicted to other stuff.
I became addicted to co co-codyamol. 500ml paracetamol/300mg codiene. They were orginally prescibed for bad pain but I just kept putting the script at the docs for them. After about 4 years the doctor just stopped prescribing them. I tried to get them, leaving notes, on the repeat script but did not get them. I did have a few left (like any addiction) I had a bit of a stash so I just cut down slowly and eventually came off them. Now if I get a pain I take a paracemol and am glad that I know longer have to take to co- codyamol.
Sheena
keepemlaughing
17-10-08, 19:42
Yes, my addictive personality was to more than just alcohol. Its like what ever I do, I do it to extreme. Cocaine, meth, weed, they all were part of my addicition. I have been clean from drugs almost three years. I still crave alcohol and occassionally succumb to the desire and have a beer or two. I wish I didn't, but I still haven't licked it yet. You might say that I am now addicted to my meds, but not really, its probably all in my head.
Today I have to deliver t-shirts to elementary school kids and their teachers. I was only supposed to deliver them. Now a teacher just emailed me and wants me to speak as well. I am freaking out. I am sweating and my heart is racing. Here it goes again.
I was addicted to speed when I was younger. Gave it up only to find that alcohol did the trick and calmed me down in company. (soical phobic). Little did I know that the alcohol was going to nearly put me in an early grave.
With the cigarettes, I gave them up 3 years ago, I would love to smoke again. I do get cravings now and then but thankfully they do not last long. I should have gave them up earlier than I did as they were seriously affecting my health so know the cigs are a no no.
Nice to hear from you and good that you gave up those serious drugs.:yesyes:
Sheena
Hi Sheena,
You have put some very interesting posts on this thread and I am presuming that you are quoting from informed sources and researching alternative studies.
However it might be helpful if you quoted the sources of these as you did in post 6 on this thread; it would save any one taking comments personally and allow them to read the rest of the information related to research if they so wish.
It is appreciated the efforts that you are going to on everyone's behalf and this is meant purely as a constructive comment.
Kind Regards
Lynnann
I am a recovering alcoholic, I havent had a drink for 21 months. I go to AA and one day at a time I live a sober life. I started drinking as a form of self medicating. I,ve been on and off prescription drugs for years and years. They werent working, weren,t getting rid of my anxiety symptoms, stopping the panic attacks, OCD etc. I,ve also used drugs and they did become a problem but alcohol was what brought me to my knees.
It is an illness, as is anxiety.
I live one day at a time not picking up a drink but now that I am sober I have realized all the symptoms I drank to hide are still there. That is why I am here. I have done stress and relaxation courses, I know what I,m supposed to do to make life easier and know I have to learn to cope in this world without my head driving me insane.
It would be so easy to pick up a drink but I lost everything through it and have no intention of going down that road again. I,ve a strength I never had before but that by no means this life is easy. My problems are caused by me, through the way I think and feel. I can worry myself ill over the most trivial of things, and do.
Finding this site has been a welcome relief for me. I,m talking to quite a few people who have found themselves on the same path of destruction in an attempt to find some serenity and have realized its not the answer.
Before the drink my life was a struggle. On it totally unmanageable. At the minute I freely admit I,m scared. I,m finding things hard but with the friends I have in AA and on here I know I am not alone and that in itself is a great help to me. When I feel I cant cope all I need to do is talk....hey! I,m not mad, I just think abit differently to "normal" people.
Phew!
Debs
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