Applebomb
13-10-08, 15:13
Hello, I've been a member on this site for a while but this is my first ever post. I really need help, I'm absolutely devastated by something I did recently.
I've suffered from anxiety, depression and low self esteem since I was 15, (i'm now 25) and have been on medication for 10 years but recently came off it as I felt I no longer needed it.
At the time I came of the medication I started going out with an amazing guy, the most supporting and caring person I've ever met.
Since coming off the medication there has been a marked difference in my mood, I have been very miserable despite being with an amazing person. My mood over the last few months has got continually lower and my boyfriend was worried it was something to do with him.
In a desperate atempt to gain some sort of happiness I started having very fond nostalgic memorys of my previous boyfriend from when I was a teenager, we were incredibly happy together. I went home back to my childhood home and met up with my ex. I ended up cheating on my current boyfriend in a drunken awful stupor. It was terribly upsetting and made me realise just how amazing my current boyfriend is, and how much I love him. Cheating on him was the biggest mistake of my life, if I told him he would be so unbelivably heartbroken and would leave me and never speak to me again. I've been throwing up for the last couple of days because of my conscience and the absloute fear of what I have done totally ruining something amazing. I'm paying for my actions and if I tell him he will be too, i'm so confused, what should I do? Please don't judge me too harshly, I know what I have done is appauling! :(
I've suffered from anxiety, depression and low self esteem since I was 15, (i'm now 25) and have been on medication for 10 years but recently came off it as I felt I no longer needed it.
At the time I came of the medication I started going out with an amazing guy, the most supporting and caring person I've ever met.
Since coming off the medication there has been a marked difference in my mood, I have been very miserable despite being with an amazing person. My mood over the last few months has got continually lower and my boyfriend was worried it was something to do with him.
In a desperate atempt to gain some sort of happiness I started having very fond nostalgic memorys of my previous boyfriend from when I was a teenager, we were incredibly happy together. I went home back to my childhood home and met up with my ex. I ended up cheating on my current boyfriend in a drunken awful stupor. It was terribly upsetting and made me realise just how amazing my current boyfriend is, and how much I love him. Cheating on him was the biggest mistake of my life, if I told him he would be so unbelivably heartbroken and would leave me and never speak to me again. I've been throwing up for the last couple of days because of my conscience and the absloute fear of what I have done totally ruining something amazing. I'm paying for my actions and if I tell him he will be too, i'm so confused, what should I do? Please don't judge me too harshly, I know what I have done is appauling! :(