Worrying that this Christmas will be my last

[fairyloveheart]

Why is it that I can't enjoy anything anymore as I keep worrying that whatever it is I am doing/enjoying - it will be the last time I get to enjoy it. I love Christmas, but this year, I keep thinking it will be my last one as I feel like I won't be here for the next.

I am struggling every day and some days I just want to scream. Family and friends seem oblivious to my problems or not interested.....I guess they are fed up of me. It's so hard trying to carry on, being in pain, not knowing what it is. I am so unhappy :emot-crying:

[kazzie]

Hey Fairy:hugs:

Dont I know that feeling:doh:

I would not live to see 20, 30, 40 etc

Guess what??????


Im still kicking around and Im 46:scared15:

Its all a pile of poop sweetie:whistles:

Just get on and live, what will be will be:hugs:

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Oceanblue]

Awww, you do sound very unhappy, i'm sorry you're feeling so sad.

I don't know much about Health Anxiety myself, but others here with this type of anxiety are sure to help.
Just wanted to send (((hugs))) to you. Wishing you well.:flowers:

[fairyloveheart]

Thank you. I agree it's all poop!

[LeeBee]

Fairy, Kazzie is absolutely right. We can't spend our lives worrying about what might or might not happen that we have no control over. How will you feel if you look back 10 years from now and see all of the time you spent worrying about something that never happened? As Kazzie says, what will be will be.

I do understand worrying and HAing, I do it too. But let's give ourselves a break and just live our lives for a while :) ? I know you have a lot of facial pain at the moment, and I do think you should insist that your doctor help you with this - it just isn't good enough that they leave you to feel so much pain without any treatment.

[Andyroo]

i know what its like to worry everyday! this is just one christmas of many to come :hugs: chin up.

[fairyloveheart]

Thanks guys - your comments are always appreciated
FLH
xxx

[smiler22]

fairy i very often get this feeling. particularly because i have lost quite a few friends at young ages.however one of their mum told me. life has to carry on for all of us. we never know what is going to happen tomorrw or the next day or the next. her daughter has not got the choice as she was killed in a car accident. we have a choice to continue living. fate is our destiny and only that knows what lie in store for us. my motto is live each day to the full. dont spend time trying to think what if. i hope this helpss. i also live each day in pain, but i try to cram in as much fun etc as i can. because my friends who have died dont get the chance anymore and i know they dwant me to live their lives for them. xx

[Trixie]

Why is it that I can't enjoy anything anymore as I keep worrying that whatever it is I am doing/enjoying - it will be the last time I get to enjoy it. I love Christmas, but this year, I keep thinking it will be my last one as I feel like I won't be here for the next.

I am struggling every day and some days I just want to scream. Family and friends seem oblivious to my problems or not interested.....I guess they are fed up of me. It's so hard trying to carry on, being in pain, not knowing what it is. I am so unhappy :emot-crying:

None of us know whether this Christmas will be our last, I might have a heart attack tonight and die but there is no point dwelling on it.

Don't let your face get you down at least you know it is not life threatening.:flowers:

[fairyloveheart]

Starting to get ready for Christmas but am getting more depressed. Waiting for some CT Scan results... keep thinking I will get the sorry it's cancer diagnosis.... can't enjoy christmas - everything is rubbish - results looming over me like a dark cloud. I know this is my last Christmas, so part of me wants to make it good, but I can't

[Cathy V]

Fairy, can I ask if you felt like this last christmas or the christmas before, or is it just this year that youve felt so bad about things? I remember very well a time when my kids were very small, and for a few years I felt that each christmas was my last one. This was when i was in my 20s and my anxiety had only just begun. I'm 55 now and have had soooooo many christmases since that time, but when i think back on it, i can remember those anxious feelings like they were yesterday. Im a gran now and enjoy every christmas with my grandchildren. This is not your last honey, believe it. This is only the anxiety/depression talking to you. You'll be around for many more to come...you'll see.

Best wishes
Cathy xxx

[never2late]

Interesting thread. I felt this way two years ago. I even made sure to re-pack the Christmas tree very carefully so that my family would see how neat I was after I was gone. I guess that was the very beginning of my recent bout with things.

This year (after a rather tough first half). . . baby, bring it on. I honestly have never felt better (both mentally and physically). So turn-arounds do happen -- even if you think at present that things will never be good again, or that you won't be around next year.

It's always possible that you wont' (and possible that I won't either) -- but the mental state associated with that happening is much different.

Whatever will be will be.

[i hate panicking]

Hi Fairy,:)

I too know how you feel it's a very worrying christmas for me also,i have lots of appointments with the hospital just before christmas for various things.
Tests etc....

So i can't really enjoy christmas this year but i have two small children so in a way i can't be down about it as i have to be strong for them.
Keep your chin up:)

:bighug1:

[fairyloveheart]

:weep: [quote=Cathy V;430926]Fairy, can I ask if you felt like this last christmas or the christmas before, or is it just this year that youve felt so bad about things?

Hi Cathy, thanks for your reply, it is just this Christmas. I LOVE CHRISTMAS! I started feeling ill last December, but didn't worry it was anything serious until it continued.....and went on and on.

Waiting for the CT scan results is praying on my mind, I just keep thinking, this is it, for sure. I am so frightened they will come back with something life threatening and because I love christmas it will be a cruel twist of fate that the diagnosis will come just beforehand so I can't even enjoy this last one.

Never2late, Thanks for your thoughts - I am pleased that you are feeling good, and hope I can too....

Hi I hate panicking - sorry you have lots of tests coming up. I hope they are all ok... xxx

NOW my throat has gone bright red too. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW