swiffer61
14-10-08, 09:46
Hi everyone!
I'm new to this place and I just thought I'd introduce myself.
My name is Kristi and I am in my 20s. I've had panic and anxiety off and on since I was around 17.
It all started with being terrified of lightning. I've always been a little afraid of such things (fireworks mostly) but there was this one time when I was alone at my mother's house in the middle of a valley in the countryside, and the lights (although turned off) sparked really bad during a very severe thunderstorm, and a huge tree uprooted nearby. I feel as if ever since then I've been prone to at least a little bit of anxiety, especially when I'm alone.
I'm mostly over the thunderstorm thing now (still makes me a tad uneasy sometimes), but there was a span of about 5 years where if there was a thunderstorm in the forecast I would calculate escape routes and safe havens or try my damndest to be around people. I'm hardly proud of that. It still makes me rather embarrassed in myself to even read it here.
Anyway,I've had my share of anxiety and panic since then, but it's most always situational. About 2 years ago my fiance and I were trying to get my residency here in the Netherlands (I am originally from America). That in itself was extremely stressful for us, because the first time we wanted to apply for residency, my fiance was sharing a flat with his brother who absolutlely refused to let us put my name on the list of people living there. I was then unable to stay, and I had to return to America for 3 months before I could even come back.
While I was in America I stayed with my mother who was going through a very nasty divorce from my stepfather. This was definitely a situation where I felt trapped, especially because I didn't want to be there at all. I think that's when my anxiety and panic reached its peak. My doctor put me on Lexapro as we had tried almost everything else. Three months later I was back in the Netherlands (hard to do so often when you're also anxious about FLYING...geesh!) and we applied for residency. I was approved to stay about 6 months later, I got a job 2 weeks later, and the anxiety and panic died down. Then I had my doctor here help wean me off of Lexapro. I'm not a fan of being dependent on a drug, but it did help me stay at least a little sane while I was back in America.
Things went smoothly with that, but after about another 6 months it all started to go downhill again. In late June of this year my fiance and I found out that I was about 2 months pregnant. Unfortunately in August I miscarried. Because of the emotional blow, I didn't renew the contract with my job, and I've been unemployed since. It's been quite an emotional roller coaster. My anxiety and panic have come back, and have been at their worst(and predominantly focusing on health issues). There has also been extra stress with our plans on buying a new house, my father-in-law has been having health troubles, and of course I am now in the process of looking for a job but with little luck.
These are all reasons why I've decided to join this place. From what I've seen thus far, it's been extremely helpful in keeping me less panicky. I just wish all my worrying about my health (the doc says there's nothing wrong with me save for a nasty sinus infection and my IBS) would just get better. I feel like such a prisoner in my own mind. And that's not so helpful when you're unemployed and alone for most of the day!
Wow, what a babble! Sorry for such a long story! Oddly enough, that's the first time I've written all of that out! Boy, does that feel good! :blush:
Anyway, Hello!!!!!
I'm new to this place and I just thought I'd introduce myself.
My name is Kristi and I am in my 20s. I've had panic and anxiety off and on since I was around 17.
It all started with being terrified of lightning. I've always been a little afraid of such things (fireworks mostly) but there was this one time when I was alone at my mother's house in the middle of a valley in the countryside, and the lights (although turned off) sparked really bad during a very severe thunderstorm, and a huge tree uprooted nearby. I feel as if ever since then I've been prone to at least a little bit of anxiety, especially when I'm alone.
I'm mostly over the thunderstorm thing now (still makes me a tad uneasy sometimes), but there was a span of about 5 years where if there was a thunderstorm in the forecast I would calculate escape routes and safe havens or try my damndest to be around people. I'm hardly proud of that. It still makes me rather embarrassed in myself to even read it here.
Anyway,I've had my share of anxiety and panic since then, but it's most always situational. About 2 years ago my fiance and I were trying to get my residency here in the Netherlands (I am originally from America). That in itself was extremely stressful for us, because the first time we wanted to apply for residency, my fiance was sharing a flat with his brother who absolutlely refused to let us put my name on the list of people living there. I was then unable to stay, and I had to return to America for 3 months before I could even come back.
While I was in America I stayed with my mother who was going through a very nasty divorce from my stepfather. This was definitely a situation where I felt trapped, especially because I didn't want to be there at all. I think that's when my anxiety and panic reached its peak. My doctor put me on Lexapro as we had tried almost everything else. Three months later I was back in the Netherlands (hard to do so often when you're also anxious about FLYING...geesh!) and we applied for residency. I was approved to stay about 6 months later, I got a job 2 weeks later, and the anxiety and panic died down. Then I had my doctor here help wean me off of Lexapro. I'm not a fan of being dependent on a drug, but it did help me stay at least a little sane while I was back in America.
Things went smoothly with that, but after about another 6 months it all started to go downhill again. In late June of this year my fiance and I found out that I was about 2 months pregnant. Unfortunately in August I miscarried. Because of the emotional blow, I didn't renew the contract with my job, and I've been unemployed since. It's been quite an emotional roller coaster. My anxiety and panic have come back, and have been at their worst(and predominantly focusing on health issues). There has also been extra stress with our plans on buying a new house, my father-in-law has been having health troubles, and of course I am now in the process of looking for a job but with little luck.
These are all reasons why I've decided to join this place. From what I've seen thus far, it's been extremely helpful in keeping me less panicky. I just wish all my worrying about my health (the doc says there's nothing wrong with me save for a nasty sinus infection and my IBS) would just get better. I feel like such a prisoner in my own mind. And that's not so helpful when you're unemployed and alone for most of the day!
Wow, what a babble! Sorry for such a long story! Oddly enough, that's the first time I've written all of that out! Boy, does that feel good! :blush:
Anyway, Hello!!!!!