My Panic And Anxiety

[billywhizz]

Firstly Thank you so much for all the help you guys have ever given me, and although i havent been on here for a while now, i never forget where the best advice and support have come from in my quest to beat this demon.

I wanted take this opportunity to tell you all that i've started to blog my anxiety on youtube in videos. If you goto

http://www.youtube.com/billywhizz79

you will see them, would be great to see some more comments on there, i will be updating it most days, and tryin to show exactly how my anxiety affects me.

Thanks again guys an gals.

Billy

[Shug]

Hi Billy,

Thanks a lot for posting these vids and keep them coming. Its good to actually see someone talking about it rather than reading posts.

I had my first panic attack when I was about 30. Had a couple of months when it was really bad, daily attacks and it eventually calmed down again. The last two years I've been mostly normal but I'm having a bit of a relapse now. My main fear is fear itself. I know I'm not having a heart attack or anything, but I'm worried I'll pass out in public. I get dizzy, heart starts pumping like mad and I really struggle to breathe. As you said I know all the theory behind these, but in the middle of an attack that goes all out the window!

I'm still at work and its becoming a real struggle. I worry I'll lose my job, flat etc...Maybe its been bought on again by the whole credit crunch. Generally I know it work that if I can make it to 2:30/3ish I'll be fine and the last couple of hours I'm a lot more relaxed. Luckily I've got this week off.

Anyway I'm ranting now. Keep up with the vid diary, a lot of what you say I can totally relate to and a lot of others willl as well so keep up the good work.

Cheers
Hugh

[billywhizz]

Thanks Hugh

for the positive feedback, glad the vids are of some use. its hard to actually think of everything while the cameras on so i tend to forget bits lol.

i'll be posting more vids every day if i can, and hopefully some of me attempting to beat this anxiety with different tasks.

Thanks again and keep watching :yesyes:

[Veronica H]

:yesyes: Well done Billy. I hope the videos help you and others to move forward with this illness.

Veronica

[Shug]

I think one of the key things you mentioned and also Claire Weekes in her books is the whole 'acceptance' thing. Not giving up and thinking, this is going to be it for the rest of my life, but accepting that everyday we can come across anxious moments, but these will pass. Unfortunately, our bodies seem to short circuit at some point and the anxious feelings remain. Or they can turn on for no apparent reason and eventually lead to a panic attack. We just need to go with the flow and not fight it. Without sounding like the wise old man in those old karates movies, think of nature like a tree swaying in the wind. It doesn't brace itself when the wind blows and try and fight the wind, otherwise it would snap, just like us! It just goes with the flow and sways back and forth. I think we need to train our minds to act the same when we get anxious. If we try and fight it, we will snap like a stiff tree..........hope that makes sense!

I'm really rambling on now! I've just started an exercise routine and have just come back from a 25 min jog so I'm currently on a high!

[Mistie_In_Oz]

Hi Billy,
I think it's great you have made the video and posted it on UTube. It really does help to see you talking about it, after watching I feel a little better the now, I had a bad morning.
Your posting has made a difference thank you.

[Anxious_gal]

aw your very brave to post a video! I love your voice!

[billywhizz]

Thanks for all these great messages, im really happy that some people are gettin somethin from my videos. (still laffin cuz you like my voice)

Was goin to post another today, not sure yet, see how i go today. ive managed to go out today so i've got a bit to blog.

I'll come on here an post a message when i upload a new video so those who are interested can view it. or you can subscribe to my videos on youtube and you will receive mail everytime i post on there.

Really appreciate the kind words on here, makes it all worth while.

Thanks again

[bluewoman]

hi i just started watching your videos but have not made it very far (new baby at home).. i was just wondering if you have tried medication at all??

[billywhizz]

just a quick post to say that i've just upped a new video about my first trip to the supermarket in around a year.

check out http://youtube.com/billywhizz79 to see it.

and yes im on meds, just a low dose of propranolol to ease the symptoms, been on them for what seems an eternity, i cudnt tell you if they really help.

Billy

[Mistie_In_Oz]

Hi Mistie
It must be difficult for you to make contact with other members considering the time difference, Most members are sleeping now,,, Well the lucky ones. You should watch out for others from OZ and let them know of your presence,

David
Hey David,
Yeah, it's a shame about the time difference. But, at least I can still come in and read everyone's posts. Yeap, I think i've seen one from Australia so far?
Hope your doing well, and thanks for the advice :)
*hugs*
Mistie

[LeeBee]

Hi there Mistie - I'm not an Aussie, but a Kiwi - almost in the same time zone! There are a few Aussies that I've seen in here, some of them are online now, and one or two Kiwis. We can all keep each other company while the Brits and Americans sleep :winks: .

[billywhizz]

today or tommorow im gonna try and film a trip out, or parts of a trip out. im hoping to catch myself on film panicking, so i can see exactly what i look like, shud be fun, lol.
my theory is tho that i most likely wont panic because i'll be concentrating on the camera, we'll see anyway.
i'll post here when the video is available. thanks

[fella]

hi i have been having panic attacks since i was 21 im now 39 i had a really bad one last nite its left me feeling quite bad i feel sick and have a duull pain in my chest it came from no ware last nite i was sick i had cold sweats couldnt breath it was horrible

[billywhizz]

Wow!! today has been a struggle.

i've just put a new video up on youtube showin me on the brink of a panic attack.

the problem today is that i've only 1 of my propranolol pills left to last me till tomorrow afternoon wen i can see my doctor. i didnt have one yesterday because i knew i only had one left an the earliest appointment with the doc was friday at 5.10pm.

the videos only short but its interestin viewin. So tomorrow is the day i'll be filmin my trip to the doctors, wish me luck...

Catch the latest vid at http://www.youtube.com/billywhizz79

Thanks for the comments

[itsme&HIM]

It really is great to see someone else talk about this. I am new here and am really looking forward to beating this with help.

Melinda

[Oceanblue]

Hi Billy,

I've only watched your first video. But I wanted to say that i'm so impressed that somebody with this disorder is able to talk freely on camera about themselves,... To help themselves and obviously in aid to help others.

Brave thing to do,..

I admire you for that.

:flowers:

[billywhizz]

Thank you katie, very kind words.

It makes it all worthwhile

Glad you decided to watch the videos, hopefully everyone can take something from them.

Billy

[billywhizz]

Hello again.

For those of you who are interested, i managed to get some outside footage today of myself visiting the doctors for my medication.

http://www.youtube.com/billywhizz79

I promised footage of me doin stuff that makes me anxious, so here it is, i got as much on video as i could. Even managed to get some of my actual appointment on film. Im uploading it as i type this message, so if its not there just yet, please be patient and it will appear within 10 mins of this post.

Fortunately i didnt have a panic attack, but i think you can see my anxiety levels are quite high before and during the appointment.

Enjoy!

[charlish74]

hi i have just started with panic attacks im on 5mg of diazapan 3 times a day low dose but takes the edge of for now i feel so much better seeing for my self how someone copes every day with this silly question but do you ever get the urgent need to go to the loo thought i would ask as thats what happens to me alot when it happens and worrying if i dont get to one in time.i think its great what you have dont for everyone to see i hope you get better soon take care all the best karen x

[billywhizz]

Hi karen,

i dont really get the urgent need for the loo, my usual urgent thought is how quick can i get out of wherever i am.

sorry the updates have stopped for the weekend on the youtbe blog, but my daughter has been really poorly. I think shes a little better this mornin so fingers crossed shes on the mend.

Take care all, an keep watchin.

[charlish74]

hi i was watching your videos i found they hepl me knowing someone else was going through this and seeing it really help me i was wondering did you ever get urges to rush to the loo like you had a stomach bug. thankx again for showing your videos x

[Veronica H]

Hi Billy
I have been following your posts on Youtube. You are very brave and I think you are helping alot of people. I hope you are being helped yourself by making the journey.

Best wishes
Veronica

[billywhizz]

Hello again,

Sorry i havent posted a video since last thursday, my little girl has been poorly for a week, so i been busy gettin her right.

Today i've posted a new video, i've set myself a personal challenge, you'll find all the details on the video.

Thanks again for the nice comments.

[Veronica H]

:yesyes: Hi Billy

I hope your little one is fully recovered. Small steps, with the challenges as we don't want you to burn yourself out. I know you will get there, and it gives the rest of us hope and inspiration.

Veronica

[billywhizz]

hello all. I know its been a while since the last video but i have put a new one on last night regarding a shoppin trip. Any one suffering with agoraphobia will be able to relate. Check out my youtube page and find the new video. Thanks

[Veronica H]

:yesyes: Well done Billy, just watched you on your shopping trip. What you described in the shop when you felt like heading for the door was 'the moment of recoil' which Dr Weekes advises us to move towards in order to recover. One comforting thing I noticed was that we could feel your struggle because we know the feelings of panic and you were describing them, but seeing you on the clip you did not look any different to any other shopper. I think we worry that we stand out and everyone is looking at us when we are anxious. Thanks again for making this journey on our behalf. Your daughter is so cute!

Veronica

[billywhizz]

Thanks for the lovely comments Veronica, my daughter is a cutie, the problem is, is that she knows it. lol (as if butter wouldnt melt)

Today i woke up an thought i'd go back to the same retail park, and visit a couple of other shops. This experience is turning out to be really good for me, im finding things out about this panic and anxiety that i've never noticed before.

Hope you guys are still watching, i'll post on here when i've uploaded todays video.

Thanks again.

[billywhizz]

After a Really Great Week, last week, it all came to a halt at a halloween party on friday night.

I am currently uploading the whole day onto youtube, please keep checking my page on youtube.

www.youtube.com/billywhizz79 (http://www.youtube.com/billywhizz79) for all the latest videos, there are 4 new ones going on today, and should be uploaded within the hour.

hope you guys are still watching and can i just add a HUGE thank you to the kind messages and support.

Thanks for readin an hopefully you'll watch them soon.

[DJ Trace]

Hi Billywhizz,

I just like to say a huge thank you for posting your videos.

I watched them all tonight and they are brill and helped me feel not so alone.

Your amazing keep up the great work.

Stay safe and well.
love trace Xx

[billywhizz]

New video on today, showing how this anxiety can have its ups and downs in a matter of days.

Hope you are all well, and i hope you are all enjoyin the videos.

thanks for watchin

[billywhizz]

If any of you have been watching my videos

www.youtube.com/billywhizz79 (http://www.youtube.com/billywhizz79)

you will have hopefully been able to relate to my episodes of panic.

Please check out my page for the latest video, it is by far my best video yet, i wont say any more but please try and watch it if you get the chance.
It titled, Intense Exposure Therapy Agoraphobia Anxiety Panic Attacks

Billy

[Veronica H]

:) Hi Billy

I went to the hairdressers this week for the first time since the summer , I had a really fearsome attack of panic as I waited in there and several flashes after that but I stayed. I started to think people would notice my discomfort then I thought of you on video and remembered that it is more of an internal struggle and not much to notice on the surface. Thanks Billy, I want you to know that you really are making a difference. You moving the bed gave me a few laughs. At least you will not have to wear your hat in bed now that you are away from the window.

Veronica

[billywhizz]

lol @ veronica

thanks for the kind words mate, the videos have been flyin in thick and fast the last few weeks.

got a busy few day ahead now tho, and ive had this sickness bug thats floatin around.

keep watchin mate.