blackie
15-10-08, 10:39
Hi all
I have a hospital appointment today and i am really starting to worry about it. I have been getting alot of pain in the upper abdomen so am having an ultra sound. I havent been able to leave the house for about two years apart from occasinal good weeks when i think i am doing well but it never lasts. Anyway i am terrified of getting there and being on my own while i am having the scan. Also i am worried that they wont find out whats wrong and i will have to have futher tests and still feel uncomfortable. I am, worried about the actual scan as i know it wont hurt but i have put on alot of weight since being trapped in the house and i have horriable stretch marks. In the letter it says i have to take me cloths off and wear a hospital gown but i hope i can at least keep my trousers on:blush: . Then theres my scars. I have them everywhere from self-harm and i feel so ashamed of them. They are so large and purple and raised up. I dont do it anymore but the damage has been done and i hate people asking questions and judging me for it. And i cannot eat before the scan which makes the pain worse and makes me feel more panicky. I know, i am worring about everything but i am feeling sick with worry. Its been a stressful last month as i have had an important exam as well and meeting a new team (again) to see if they can help me. I have finally got a support worker who will help me go out and visit me once a week. He seems a nice guy so i am feeling more positive but i know its going to be so hard. Sorry i am really whining today its just i have had so much going on in my mind. I just want to get through today.
Take care all
Blackie
I have a hospital appointment today and i am really starting to worry about it. I have been getting alot of pain in the upper abdomen so am having an ultra sound. I havent been able to leave the house for about two years apart from occasinal good weeks when i think i am doing well but it never lasts. Anyway i am terrified of getting there and being on my own while i am having the scan. Also i am worried that they wont find out whats wrong and i will have to have futher tests and still feel uncomfortable. I am, worried about the actual scan as i know it wont hurt but i have put on alot of weight since being trapped in the house and i have horriable stretch marks. In the letter it says i have to take me cloths off and wear a hospital gown but i hope i can at least keep my trousers on:blush: . Then theres my scars. I have them everywhere from self-harm and i feel so ashamed of them. They are so large and purple and raised up. I dont do it anymore but the damage has been done and i hate people asking questions and judging me for it. And i cannot eat before the scan which makes the pain worse and makes me feel more panicky. I know, i am worring about everything but i am feeling sick with worry. Its been a stressful last month as i have had an important exam as well and meeting a new team (again) to see if they can help me. I have finally got a support worker who will help me go out and visit me once a week. He seems a nice guy so i am feeling more positive but i know its going to be so hard. Sorry i am really whining today its just i have had so much going on in my mind. I just want to get through today.
Take care all
Blackie