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muy_linda
04-06-05, 15:10
Hi
I'm Female/34 years old. I have been going thru a messy divorce for that last year and a half. I have 3 small children. I have become a real Type A personality, now that I am on my own. I see thru to the end of everything I start. And nothing stands in my way. It's causing problems. I can't sleep if the garage needs cleaning, I can't walk away from anything broken.
In April, I decided to take a 6 hour trip, to see a new guy friend on mine. As soon as I hit the freeway, I found myself passing out. I pulled over in a very unsafe area, having cars honking horns at me and my car shaking as the cars wisked by me. I got back on the road, and took the first exit. But, instead of relief, the passing out started again, as I wasn't sure what exactly would be on that off ramp once I hit it.
I called my friend, he didn't understand. Told me to get a Coke and get some sugar into me. I made it to his house, in 8 hours. Two days later, he had to drive me back, and he flew back home. Last night, at 6pm, I decided to face my fears and go to his house again. I decided to leave at night, so the roads were not busy. I drove 1.5 hours, and as soon as I hit the skyway, and I realized there was nowhere to pull over, the feeling hit me so fast, I was already well on my way within seconds to passing out. I screamed for God's help and he helped me immediately. I got over that skyway! I decided to come home. The thought of coming home relieved me so much. I just couldn't wait to be in my room. I took a different route, so I could go thru a different city without having to take the skyway. I KNEW that skyway was going to be a problem for a long time.
I got home and I was 100% on the rural roads.
I called my guy friend and he was so NON understanding about it. He said he can't date me anymore because of my ongoing emotional problems. And that he has a child who needs stablility around her, and I'm turning into a mess.
My mom called me. I didn't tell her about what happened. She invited me out to her house, a 45 min drive, for supper tonight. I don't know if I can go. I think I can. But, I'm beginning to break down.
I have always been incredibly transportable and adaptable. I drove to Mexico twice, Florida twice. I was always the person people would call if they were too scared to drive in traffic. I was the rock for everyone up until now. I started to tell my mom a bit about the anxiety, and she was acting so shocked, I had to get off topic.
What is going to become of me? I have a family history of mental health problems. My aunt didn't leave her house for 25 years. Not for sickness, or funerals. My other aunt used to clean her house frantically, because she figured she was dying, and she wanted the house clean when people would come to the house after she was dead.
Yes, it's in my family. How do I get over this? Is it going to get worse? I feel so alone today.

Piglet
04-06-05, 15:41
Hi,

I can really identify with your circumstances - my anxiety started a few years after a very painful divorce and becoming a single mum of 3 at exactly the same age as you.

I look back now and realise that I was so determined to be supermum and everybody admired how well I was dealing with everything, I was intent on doing everything myself and not asking for help and still be around for anyone who needed me.

Well guess what - I burned myself out. I had crap relations with my ex and some of his family, at that time I also wasn't getting on well with my own family either, I really felt it was me and my kids against the world and little by little over the ensuing years it got harder and harder, there seemed to be so any practical, emotional and financial problems to deal with.

When I finally cracked, my Gp said if he had been living the same way as me he thinks he would have had exactly the same thing happen.

The lessons I learnt (the hard way obviously) is that no man/woman is an island. Ask for help whenever and wherever you can - there is no shame in this, don't feel you have to prove anything to anyone, life should not be a competition, as soon as some of this started sinking in I came a long way to feeling better.

Try and surround yourself with supportive people - coming on here is a great start.

If I knew then what I know now..................

Love Piglet

Meg
04-06-05, 16:17
Hi muy_linda,

You've been overdoing it ... and your body is burnt out and not happy.

All of what Piglet has said is relevant.

Start here : First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)

It is unlikely that you would pass out especially now you know its a symptom of hyperventilation

Spaciness (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2696)
Light Headed (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2951)
dizzyness (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3062)
Jules31 (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=310)
Light Headed (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2951)
Very dizzy (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3743)
help :( (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3742)

If you take this in hand this early on then it is much less likely that you will develop any of your family traits..

Be kind and gentle to yourself.

Do things in small increments and build your confidence back up.





Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

tracyp584
04-06-05, 16:23
Hey Muy_linda,

Welcome to the site. I can really relate to what you've said, and agree that you really sound burnt out.

I hope you will find this site really useful, and will find lots of advice and support.

Take care,

tracy x x

seh1980
04-06-05, 16:38
Welcome aboard Linda. Hope we can offer you some good support here. :D

"Life is too important to take seriously" Corky Siegal

muy_linda
04-06-05, 16:40
Thank you for reading my post. It is so long, I didn't think anyone would read it. Thank you.
I'm having such a bad day today. I can't stop crying. It's like, I am a person who isn't supposed to have limits. I've just bottomed out, I feel like I've had a fever that just spiked, and now I don't have control in situations anymore.
I realized last night in my car, the defog doesn't work. I called Honda, I'm booked in for Monday at 12:30. I have to go into the city for this. I'm toast. Not only can I NOT rest until my car is taken care of, now I'm dealing with having to go into the city without causing a 10 car pileup.
I feel like I am going thru something big right now with this. This is a life changer. I agree I'm burnt out. I'm going to call my doctor Monday morning. Thanks to everyone who replied. Thank you.

Meg
04-06-05, 17:40
To get over this you need to lose all 'shoulds' and 'supposed' and put them away for when you're much better.

Beating yourself up over being non perfect will do more harm than good. Think what you would say to your very best friend if she were in your shoes and apply it to yourself please.

You have a good howling day - good to release months of pent up emotions.

If your Mum will help and support you, then a trip out there may be good.
If she's going to preach and lecture you - you'd be better without it tonight . Its ok for her to be shocked providing she's open to learning and helping you

Keep in touch here , its amazing how many people you'll relate to..



Meg
www.anxietymanagementltd.com

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

stimpy
05-06-05, 00:23
Hi Muy_linda and welcome.

A messy divorce for that lasted a year and a half...
3 small children ...
Can't rest if something needs doing ...

All these things are telling me that you are suffering from stress overload. In order to get you to slow down and relax your body is throwing panic attacks.

The panic attacks will get worse ONLY if you let them.
Because you had a panic attack on the motorway, your brain now associates motorways with panic.

The main thing is to keep going. The worst thing you can do is to stop driving completely.
Even if you just drive around the block while the traffic is less busy, just to keep your confidence going.

People who have never suffered with panic attacks find the whole concept of them hard to deal with. - Which is understandable as we don't know what is happening to us either.
But not being supported, just makes you feel worse.

My best friend called me an "Attention seeking agrophobic".
I was told that "whatever stunt I was pulling to get attention wasn't going to work on him! [:O] "

I think the time has come for everyone to be a rock to you, to help you deal with these thoughts and feelings, until you are back on your feet.

Don't be tough on yourself. Punch some pillows, and release that pent up emotion. But most of all try to relax and remain calm.


Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'

florence
05-06-05, 02:51
Hello and welcome :)


Florence.

**Don't believe everything you think .**

lainey
05-06-05, 09:48
Hi there

Abig , warm welcome to the site, you'll get loads of help and support here
We are all here to listen and help each other

Take care

Elaine x

alexis
05-06-05, 11:12
Hi and welcome to the site, you have had some wonderful replies, hope you are feeling a bit better today and allgoes OK on monday, take care love Alexisxx

zena
05-06-05, 13:52
Hi honey,

Wow what a load you have had....something had to give.
You have had alot of wonderful replies that I hope you can find some help.

The beating of the pillows is a great one. Wished I had thought of that a week or so ago!!

Take one day at a time...slow yourself right down and take stock of yourself.

You are not alone on this...you hit on a good site where there is loads of love and support.
Hope all goes well with your doctor.

with good wishes

Zena

sal
07-06-05, 00:02
Hi and welcome to the site

Off course we will read you post and we are all here to help you.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.