muy_linda
04-06-05, 15:10
Hi
I'm Female/34 years old. I have been going thru a messy divorce for that last year and a half. I have 3 small children. I have become a real Type A personality, now that I am on my own. I see thru to the end of everything I start. And nothing stands in my way. It's causing problems. I can't sleep if the garage needs cleaning, I can't walk away from anything broken.
In April, I decided to take a 6 hour trip, to see a new guy friend on mine. As soon as I hit the freeway, I found myself passing out. I pulled over in a very unsafe area, having cars honking horns at me and my car shaking as the cars wisked by me. I got back on the road, and took the first exit. But, instead of relief, the passing out started again, as I wasn't sure what exactly would be on that off ramp once I hit it.
I called my friend, he didn't understand. Told me to get a Coke and get some sugar into me. I made it to his house, in 8 hours. Two days later, he had to drive me back, and he flew back home. Last night, at 6pm, I decided to face my fears and go to his house again. I decided to leave at night, so the roads were not busy. I drove 1.5 hours, and as soon as I hit the skyway, and I realized there was nowhere to pull over, the feeling hit me so fast, I was already well on my way within seconds to passing out. I screamed for God's help and he helped me immediately. I got over that skyway! I decided to come home. The thought of coming home relieved me so much. I just couldn't wait to be in my room. I took a different route, so I could go thru a different city without having to take the skyway. I KNEW that skyway was going to be a problem for a long time.
I got home and I was 100% on the rural roads.
I called my guy friend and he was so NON understanding about it. He said he can't date me anymore because of my ongoing emotional problems. And that he has a child who needs stablility around her, and I'm turning into a mess.
My mom called me. I didn't tell her about what happened. She invited me out to her house, a 45 min drive, for supper tonight. I don't know if I can go. I think I can. But, I'm beginning to break down.
I have always been incredibly transportable and adaptable. I drove to Mexico twice, Florida twice. I was always the person people would call if they were too scared to drive in traffic. I was the rock for everyone up until now. I started to tell my mom a bit about the anxiety, and she was acting so shocked, I had to get off topic.
What is going to become of me? I have a family history of mental health problems. My aunt didn't leave her house for 25 years. Not for sickness, or funerals. My other aunt used to clean her house frantically, because she figured she was dying, and she wanted the house clean when people would come to the house after she was dead.
Yes, it's in my family. How do I get over this? Is it going to get worse? I feel so alone today.
I'm Female/34 years old. I have been going thru a messy divorce for that last year and a half. I have 3 small children. I have become a real Type A personality, now that I am on my own. I see thru to the end of everything I start. And nothing stands in my way. It's causing problems. I can't sleep if the garage needs cleaning, I can't walk away from anything broken.
In April, I decided to take a 6 hour trip, to see a new guy friend on mine. As soon as I hit the freeway, I found myself passing out. I pulled over in a very unsafe area, having cars honking horns at me and my car shaking as the cars wisked by me. I got back on the road, and took the first exit. But, instead of relief, the passing out started again, as I wasn't sure what exactly would be on that off ramp once I hit it.
I called my friend, he didn't understand. Told me to get a Coke and get some sugar into me. I made it to his house, in 8 hours. Two days later, he had to drive me back, and he flew back home. Last night, at 6pm, I decided to face my fears and go to his house again. I decided to leave at night, so the roads were not busy. I drove 1.5 hours, and as soon as I hit the skyway, and I realized there was nowhere to pull over, the feeling hit me so fast, I was already well on my way within seconds to passing out. I screamed for God's help and he helped me immediately. I got over that skyway! I decided to come home. The thought of coming home relieved me so much. I just couldn't wait to be in my room. I took a different route, so I could go thru a different city without having to take the skyway. I KNEW that skyway was going to be a problem for a long time.
I got home and I was 100% on the rural roads.
I called my guy friend and he was so NON understanding about it. He said he can't date me anymore because of my ongoing emotional problems. And that he has a child who needs stablility around her, and I'm turning into a mess.
My mom called me. I didn't tell her about what happened. She invited me out to her house, a 45 min drive, for supper tonight. I don't know if I can go. I think I can. But, I'm beginning to break down.
I have always been incredibly transportable and adaptable. I drove to Mexico twice, Florida twice. I was always the person people would call if they were too scared to drive in traffic. I was the rock for everyone up until now. I started to tell my mom a bit about the anxiety, and she was acting so shocked, I had to get off topic.
What is going to become of me? I have a family history of mental health problems. My aunt didn't leave her house for 25 years. Not for sickness, or funerals. My other aunt used to clean her house frantically, because she figured she was dying, and she wanted the house clean when people would come to the house after she was dead.
Yes, it's in my family. How do I get over this? Is it going to get worse? I feel so alone today.