I feel old, full of horrible thoughts how can I be positive?

[phil06]

I turned 20 a few weeks back..seems more like months back but I just feel old and past it.

I feel a bit depressed on it when my ex g.f was going to turn 20 it was like a dark cloud and I would go off her as it was too old. For me 20 is just downhill you stop growing and you get grey hair, wrinkles, and u can't do as much as you use to, and it gets worse as the years pass by.

I feel I've lost spirit for everything these days something I might have done years ago seems less of a deal now. Plus I'm fed up my horrible anxious thoughts as it puts a downer on my moods and I can never have a clear mind.

I have a feeling some of the way I feel is due to anxiety but I don't see why it gets me this bad...I'm starting to blame work for the way I feel incase it's done me out and made me unfit. Like even playing the xbox I will feel..I'm too old I had a PS2 maybe at 16 so it's just depressing. I know it sounds daft but I just seem out of touch these days and I feel like I'm floating in life. Even going on a date I feel old like I need to settle down and get married now I am 20 I would like to but I can't I duno when.

I'm suffering bad with negative thoughts at the moment.

[pinkpiglet]

Please! My twenties were the best days of my life, i lived life to the full. Girlie holidays, weekends away, weekend benders. It was fantastic! I had several short relationships, a few brief flings and met my current partner at 27. I was in control of my own life, no one told me what to do. I worked hard and played hard and grabbed every opportunity. Me and my bloke moved in together at 30 and had our son a year later. We are now 33 and our son is two. I have no regrets! Why is turning twenty such a bad thing? now 30 is a bit daunting but i don't think i will worry until i hit 50 really (then i mite start to panic a bit). Fair enough, i have anxiety (along with many others) but my main focus is to enjoy life and not dwell on the bad things. I think you probably do have a bit of depression, i had it for a short period this year and i felt so glum. You should go and see your doctor, explain how you are feeling and take it from there.
Chin up, BIG HUGS :bighug1:

[phil06]

Please! My twenties were the best days of my life, i lived life to the full. Girlie holidays, weekends away, weekend benders. It was fantastic! I had several short relationships, a few brief flings and met my current partner at 27. I was in control of my own life, no one told me what to do. I worked hard and played hard and grabbed every opportunity. Me and my bloke moved in together at 30 and had our son a year later. We are now 33 and our son is two. I have no regrets! Why is turning twenty such a bad thing? now 30 is a bit daunting but i don't think i will worry until i hit 50 really (then i mite start to panic a bit). Fair enough, i have anxiety (along with many others) but my main focus is to enjoy life and not dwell on the bad things. I think you probably do have a bit of depression, i had it for a short period this year and i felt so glum. You should go and see your doctor, explain how you are feeling and take it from there.
Chin up, BIG HUGS :bighug1:

Thanks I think the number is just too big 19 to 20 :huh: ..

This anxiety is starting to drive me mad well the OCD side of it. I keep getting these awful horrible HOCD thoughts I try and take my mind off it and just can't. I am on the process of getting a new g.f so it's totally un needed these thoughts.

Why can't I take my mind off all this? it's like it's embedded in my head and anywhere that has same sex people buses, work I get creep ed out and started worrying about contamination or giving off signals.

Today has been really bad I am straight and happy but this keeps cropping up and I can't look any anybody in fear now. All this is horrible does anybody feel when they get worries they are more aware?

Before the anxiety got bad It would pass now these thoughts are at the back of my head all the time and I just feel freaked out I know they say don't right anxiety but I refuse to let these thoughts worry me when they mean nothing.

What can I do? I know it's no different to any other worry but to me it seems hard to cope with. Between this and feeling old I just feel I'm not the same person anymore and anxiety has destroyed me. Like for example when I get this uncomfortable worry I start worrying if people are looking at me thinking I'm no longer into woman..which is awful I am happy with woman.

Why can't I live my live with normal rather than have horrible intrusive OCD thoughts over power me? I have always had a fear or turning 20 for about a year or two now I know it's not a big deal but it seems massive to me.

[LeeBee]

Hi Phil - do you think you might be able to get some CBT or physcotherapy? If you look objectively at the things you are worried, about, they really are nothing to worry about.

1) you're worried about feeling old. You're 20. You might live for another 60 or 70 years! Everyone gets older - that's life. There are good things about it as well as bad. I'm glad I'm not 20 any more - I understand SO much more about myself and the world than I did back then. Perhaps you feel that you're leaving the last traces of your childhood behind, and that it's all downhill from here, and you're worried because you don't know what's going to happen in the future. That's life too. You can't worry about it. You've taken a small feeling that many people have (of leaving behind childhood, growing up) and blown it up to huge proportions.

2) you're worried that you might have homosexual feelings. You don't have homosexual feelings. But you're worried that you might. Being gay or having homosexual feelings is something that would go against your fundamental desires and against your idea of yourself. I think here, the problem might be that you fear loss of control, or that somehow there is something inside you that is not you, if you see what I mean? That it might make you feel or act in a way that is different to what you really want?

I'm no psychologist, just my thoughts. I do think talking things through with a phychotherapist or reading a book on dealing with OCD, or maybe asking your GP to be referred for CBT would be a good idea. It's all just your thoughts and feelings making you feel this way, and if you can understand them then you might be able to ignore or control them. :)

[tommycheadle]

I just turned 50 - and it is fine. I loved my twenties and had issues about becoming 30 - but I really think that it's all good. My mum died at 48 - and I know she would have been delighted to have had the chance to age further. Make the most of it all, and move on cheerfully where you can. There are wonderful times further on.

Love to all,

Chris xx

[Franz]

I'm 39 and not conscious of feeling much different from when I was 20 - still fit and energetic and miserable as sin.

[kendo59]

I turned 20 a few weeks back..seems more like months back but I just feel old and past it.

Blimey, what are you gonna be like when you get to 40 or 50?
I'm pushing 50, and my 20's were def the best/busiest of my life. Looking back now, I am amazed I survived them!!!!