reyniebenie
19-10-08, 20:00
Hello Everyone.
May I start by saying that this website is fabulous and I'm sure it helps so many people in so many ways.
I have suffered from general anxiety for the last ten years. I had a stroke when I was 28. I made a quick recovery but launched straight into drinking and drug use to dampen the shock of it. I also wanted to prove that it wasnt going to slow me down. So I went on for the next 5 years pretending to be fine. Pretending that I was normal and coping. When infact I was physically exhausted. I used to work all week and spend the whole weekend in bed. Then I moved down to the coast and felt better for a while but I had to move back to london for work. Then about 3 years ago I became incredibly ill. I had shingles and it went on and on and on. I spent the whole of a summer in bed. I just couldnt get up. Everytime I tried my head hurt. The doctors told me that I was severely depressed. I was started on Citaloprim and I was tested for HIV. The Citaloprim caused me to feel edgy and irratable but I continued to take it. The hiv test came back positive and that was the worst year of my life.
But things got better. HIV is no problem - I can take tablets for that. Now the Anxiety and depression is another matter. I have continued to take Citaloprim for 3 years. The anxiety never went away, but it did get better and I was able to work and function. But everything I did in life became a chore. I felt constantly sedated. I never looked forward to anything or planned anything and gradually I accepted that as a part of me. Having now stopped Citaloprim after insisting with my Dr everything is coming back. I am doing things spontaneously and without dread or stress. I have stopped a week and so far have had no anxiety or depression - only withdrawal symptoms. My doctor wants to start me on a new drug either Venlafaxine, Mertazipine or Sertraline.
I don't know what to do. I feel it has been so long since I have been myself. That I want to go it alone without any medication. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow and will discuss that with him. I just dont want those terrible feeling of anxiety returning though.
Thanks for listening and any words of guidance or support will be gladly welcomed. I can tell I am better because I joined this site a couple of years ago but was too anxious to write a message.
Brian
May I start by saying that this website is fabulous and I'm sure it helps so many people in so many ways.
I have suffered from general anxiety for the last ten years. I had a stroke when I was 28. I made a quick recovery but launched straight into drinking and drug use to dampen the shock of it. I also wanted to prove that it wasnt going to slow me down. So I went on for the next 5 years pretending to be fine. Pretending that I was normal and coping. When infact I was physically exhausted. I used to work all week and spend the whole weekend in bed. Then I moved down to the coast and felt better for a while but I had to move back to london for work. Then about 3 years ago I became incredibly ill. I had shingles and it went on and on and on. I spent the whole of a summer in bed. I just couldnt get up. Everytime I tried my head hurt. The doctors told me that I was severely depressed. I was started on Citaloprim and I was tested for HIV. The Citaloprim caused me to feel edgy and irratable but I continued to take it. The hiv test came back positive and that was the worst year of my life.
But things got better. HIV is no problem - I can take tablets for that. Now the Anxiety and depression is another matter. I have continued to take Citaloprim for 3 years. The anxiety never went away, but it did get better and I was able to work and function. But everything I did in life became a chore. I felt constantly sedated. I never looked forward to anything or planned anything and gradually I accepted that as a part of me. Having now stopped Citaloprim after insisting with my Dr everything is coming back. I am doing things spontaneously and without dread or stress. I have stopped a week and so far have had no anxiety or depression - only withdrawal symptoms. My doctor wants to start me on a new drug either Venlafaxine, Mertazipine or Sertraline.
I don't know what to do. I feel it has been so long since I have been myself. That I want to go it alone without any medication. I am seeing my doctor tomorrow and will discuss that with him. I just dont want those terrible feeling of anxiety returning though.
Thanks for listening and any words of guidance or support will be gladly welcomed. I can tell I am better because I joined this site a couple of years ago but was too anxious to write a message.
Brian