Fear of having a panic attack on a bus

[reachersgal]

I am new to the group and hope you don't mind me posting this. I am due to go with my daughter on her school trip today - I can't sleep with anxiety and fear that I will have a panic attack and feel frightened on the bus. At the moment am shaking writting this, I feel cmopletely overwhelmed.

I am hoping that just getting this off my chest will help me stop worrying and let me go to sleep.

I said I would go on this trip because I love me daughter and she really wanted me to go, her eyes have lit up as she has told everyone that I am coming. I have done loads of work to try to work on anxiety management, but tonight I have let it all get on top of me to the point of not being able to sleep and feel really bad. I thought if I had a good nights sleep I would wake up refreshed and feel up to dealing with it, now I just want to phone school and say I'm ill - but that is letting myself and my daughter down.

I know that I am frightened of having a panic attack and although I associate these feelings with buses I think it is the fear I fear. The not being able to get off if I want to, I'm scared I will get on the bus and suddenly get overwhelmed by the panic and want to run off, then if I make it on I have to face the whole thing going home.

I really really want to face this - it's not just buses, it's anything where I don't feel in control so even sat in a meeting will have me starting to feel panicky like I want to run out. So my sensible part knows it isn't the bus as such, it just represents a situation that I'm not in control of.

Thankyou to anyone who made it so far. I'll try to get some more sleep and I think after tomorrow is over make an appt with my GP, I really need to sort this out, it has taken over my whole life.

Best Wishes



From reading some of the other posts I know I am not alone and that is some comfort.

[Mistie_In_Oz]

Hi Reachers Gal, welcome :)
You are not alone with this, I struggle with this as well. you will be fine on the bus trust me.
*HUGS*
Mistie

[Wenjoy]

Hi - I totally am with you on this - my first panic was on a bus 26 years ago. i went on a bus the other week - what I did was sat down wearing my mp3 listening to music and looked around the bus saying to myself - Go on then - make me panic 0 and willing myself to panic - and I didnt - I still felt anxious but because I ordered my panic to come - it woudnt - let us know how you get on - Im sure you will be fine Love wenjoy x

[reachersgal]

Thankyou for your encouraging and understanding replies. I didn't make it unfortunately, I didn't sleep at all last night and this morning had a really upset stomach, still shaking and I darnt risk it. I told my daughter that I had an upset stomach which was true. She is really disappointed and i feel a shocking mother for letting her down. My husband agreed it was the right thing to do - I thought yesterday that i'd be ok, I think the not sleeping thing just got me.

I am going to make an appointment at the doctor I have to get a handle on this (I'm 36). Buses are not the only thing i have problems with it's any situation that I don't feel in control in, so even someone else driving a car or going in a lift.

[Baggie]

Hi reachersgal

I'm new to this forum having experienced my first panic attack just over a month ago. When I read your post, I felt I had to reply.

I truly sympathise with your situation, I really do. Last week, I felt very, very uncomfortable with rising panic while standing in a queue waiting on a bus. When I got on, I thought that I would feel better but I still felt so awful. I just wanted to get off, but put a face on things for my children who were with me at the time. It was really difficult. I think you did the right thing if you felt it was going to be too much, especially so as your daughter was going to be with you. When you are experiencing a difficult time like this, you need to put yourself first. It's not being selfish, it's called taking care of yourself. You sound like a lovely mum by the way!

If you have a chat with your GP they might suggest something to help you deal with these feelings, like mine did. In my case, I've been prescribed beta-blockers and I'm awaiting counselling.

Take care.

Baggie :)

[Anna C]

Hi,

I'm sorry you're having a bad time at the moment, I know its horrible feeling like this but I'm sure going to see your GP will help. I have just started CBT, but I put off going to see my GP for a long time.

I also panic on the bus, this morning doing what Wenjoy has told you, helped me. its surprising how hard it is to panic when you try to!

There is a thread on Top Tips by Dafyddjohndavies that explains it well and it helped me today.

Take care Anna xx:hugs:

[kendo59]

I always get anxious as to whether I'm on the wrong bus...
or when I always have the nutter/weirdo sit next to me.

[reachersgal]

Thankyou all so much - I feel much better today, but doesn't recovering from an attack wipe you out.

I actually rang anxiety UK yesterday for some advice of course ended up crying, I spoke to a lovely lady was able to help me put a name to this.
I explained all the things I avoid as I can't possible do them and all the things that give rise to panicky feeling to a degree and it's agoraphobia, which although that surprised me, makes sense. I always thought it was a fear of open spaces, it's not the space that bothers me, it's not wanting to be any where I can't get out of, not being in control, fear of loosing control and not being able to get out. Consequently I don't go too far from home. My grandma in law had this but she couldn't leave the house - I always just saw agoraphobia as that.

She is sending me a form to apply for counselling so may hold off the docs till I can speak to them first she said it would take 2 weeks.

It's a relief to have a name but on the other hand not because I have lots of experience avoiding things and feeling normal and now I am going to have to face this which is unbelievable scary as I know you all understand and thankyou for that. I do get lots of anticipatory anxiety which probable makes situations much worse.

My husband has been wonderful and I think he was trying to make me laugh making a few national express jokes.

I was thinking I probable should come clean to my family but wondered how other people have done it, particularly children.

Thankyou all so much, it is a relief to have found this forum

[HeatherMc]

Hiya

Hope you are feeling a bit better, you had better forget that bad mother stuff, if you were a bad mother you would not be worrying about letting your daughter down don't you dare be so hard on yourself, you are not well at the moment and need to nuture yourself hope things start looking up for you soon.

Love

Heather

[bluetitan23]

hi ya, i have been suffering with panic attacks for the last 10 years off and on, i got where i didnt even go out of the house for 6 months, i had an 8 year old son that needed to go to school, luckily my neighbour would take him, i went to the docs and they put me on citalopram, i was on that for 2 years, they did help. But then i feel pregnant again and had to come off of them, after having my second child hey came back the anxiety the panic attacks, i couldnt get on a bus, go to asdas, go anywhere busy, even lifts were a problem, so i can totally relate to how you felt, its the worst feeling in the world i think, and i used to say why me, anyway i went back to docs and he put me on escitalopram for social phobias, now i can go shopping, cinema, and even a lift if its not to small, it has taken a while for this all to happen, but it was so worth it. People say its just masking the problem, but to be honest if it helps me live a full life so i can enjoy my kids, and days out then i will continue taking them, maybe when my kids are older ill think about coming off them. I found the only time I would worry about having a panic was when i been in the same situation and had one, so that used to make me not do it again, which is not good. I am now living in germany with my husband he is in the army, away from all the people who know what to do if I have a panic attack, so I tell myself you can do this, Im 39 nearly, and its time to live. Hope this has helped you, I really do, but hey you are a good mum, its just that you get panicy sometimes, dont let it get to you xx

[reachersgal]

Thankyou - I will make a note of this tablet.

I had worried about masking and feeling that the meds were helping and not me, but I also agree with you that if they help you live your life and enjoy it which I reall ywant to do, then it is beneficial and I need to consider this. It will not be forever, although if they needed to be taken forever is that a bad thing? After all if I had diabetes then i would never question coming off medication to control and I suspect that mental health problmes are no different are they?



t back to docs and he put me on escitalopram for social phobias, now i can go shopping, cinema, and even a lift if its not to small, it has taken a while for this all to happen, but it was so worth it. People say its just masking the problem, but to be honest if it helps me live a full life so i can enjoy my kids, and days out then i will continue taking them, maybe when my kids are older ill think about coming off them.

[reachersgal]

Thankyou Tetley,

My info came today and yes I do have to pay for their therapy, I just can't afford to and was probably a bit wishful thinking to think it would be free lol.

I have a job interview coming up soon and I am reluctant to seek GP help at the mo because I will need an occupational health screening and don't want this to appear 'acute' - which it isn't -have had this for a long time. I have just realised what this is and that I have to sort this out. I have never hiden depression and anxiety from employers and have had long occ.health assessments and it isn't pleasent explaining thread to needle why I've been depressed anxious etc, so am not looking forward to it. (Have been at home with kids for a few yrs).

I guess it is normal to feel a bit wobbly after a bad attack and I might feel better after weekend -hopefully.

Thanks everyone - It is a testiment to your strength that you can help other people despite going through such bad times yourselves.