angieb
06-06-05, 12:16
Hiya all
Said I would report on my week and France and here I am!
What a challenge, 7 nights under canvas, one night in a hotel, over 1000 miles in a car, eight days away from the comfort and safety of home!!!!
We left home last Thursday, and headed to Dover, some three hours later we arrived at teh hotel relaxed and happy. Had a patchy nights sleep but woke happy at 7am and headed to the ferry. I have never liked ferry crossings, however and strangely I had no fear or panic at all, being at sea for 1 & a 1/2 hrs was nothing compaired to some of what I have faced of late!!!
6 hours followed on the drive through Northern france, no hurry back safety zone now! I really enjoyed the drive down and arrived, relaxed, stress free and happy. So far so good, better than I had dared to dream...then OMG - arrived at the campsite which was stunning. We were shown to our tent which had beautiful sea views but...IT WAS ON THE SIDE OF A STEEP HILL. I don't do uphill walking as without fail it brings on panic in me, serious, can't breathe, tight chest panic!!!!! You can imagine my thoughts. To go anywhere, loos, showers, pool, shop etc involved a climb - steep climb. Rob saw the look of fear in my face and said don't worry, just use the car. I just looked at him and said please take me home:(
To shorten this epic, we of course did not go home, I had two choices, do it, or spoil my whole families holiday. I opted to just get on with it. The first walk back from the loos were miserable, but I did survive and over the week pushed and pushed myself to do more and more. I climed the slopes and terraces to the pool, climbed the long steep road to the top of the campsite, climbed three flights of steep steps to use the showers...YEAH!!!! Sometimes were easier than others, if I was distracted - no problem at all but if I was obsessing I usually struggled a bit.
On the whole I had a lovely holiday, functioned well and felt that there were two major success points, the first was I managed to play badminton for 30mins, even worked up a sweat. Felt edgy when I finished as I waited for my heart rate to relax...which it did. The second ...well, We had a view of a place called Forte Le latte from our tent and decided to visit it. We parked in the car park, wondered about a mile or so through the woods turned a sharp bend then to my horror - there it was the Forte about a mile below us down a very steep and winding cliff path!!!!!! I stopped dead in my tracks, fear flooded my body, I started to sweat and shake - no way could I climb back up this path. Rob said, no worries we will just look from here, but my girls were skipping about saying lets go down. NO CHOICE - with grim determination we set of down the tracks. These were narrow dirt tracks so no cars could get down there was only two ways out, steep climb back or helicopter!!!! At the bottom I looked up and immediately burst into tears, certain death I was sure of it. Rob gave me a big hug and said come on hun, you can do it so with no other option we sent the girls on ahead and off we set. I could not look up the tracks as it was just to much to face so I looked at my feet and counted my steps. Half way up we stopped for me to catch my breath and I looked back and was overwhelmed but how far I had already climed. I made Rob video it just so I would believe it. We continued to climb and as I relaxed we ate the distance up and before I knew it we were at the top! WHAT A FEELING.
I only had one proper panic attack which happened on the last night, we went out to a posh restaurant and I started to feel trapped, could not breathe properly and every mouth full of food made my chest tighter and throat lump bigger. I lasted till the girls ate desert then just had to get outside. As soon as I did, everything calmed down great.
So here I am, in one piece an so glad I went. It was the most normal I have felt for ages. I am struggling a bit today though, the throat lump has decided to raise its ugly head again but then again I did partake of a lot of vino yesterday so it is not re
Said I would report on my week and France and here I am!
What a challenge, 7 nights under canvas, one night in a hotel, over 1000 miles in a car, eight days away from the comfort and safety of home!!!!
We left home last Thursday, and headed to Dover, some three hours later we arrived at teh hotel relaxed and happy. Had a patchy nights sleep but woke happy at 7am and headed to the ferry. I have never liked ferry crossings, however and strangely I had no fear or panic at all, being at sea for 1 & a 1/2 hrs was nothing compaired to some of what I have faced of late!!!
6 hours followed on the drive through Northern france, no hurry back safety zone now! I really enjoyed the drive down and arrived, relaxed, stress free and happy. So far so good, better than I had dared to dream...then OMG - arrived at the campsite which was stunning. We were shown to our tent which had beautiful sea views but...IT WAS ON THE SIDE OF A STEEP HILL. I don't do uphill walking as without fail it brings on panic in me, serious, can't breathe, tight chest panic!!!!! You can imagine my thoughts. To go anywhere, loos, showers, pool, shop etc involved a climb - steep climb. Rob saw the look of fear in my face and said don't worry, just use the car. I just looked at him and said please take me home:(
To shorten this epic, we of course did not go home, I had two choices, do it, or spoil my whole families holiday. I opted to just get on with it. The first walk back from the loos were miserable, but I did survive and over the week pushed and pushed myself to do more and more. I climed the slopes and terraces to the pool, climbed the long steep road to the top of the campsite, climbed three flights of steep steps to use the showers...YEAH!!!! Sometimes were easier than others, if I was distracted - no problem at all but if I was obsessing I usually struggled a bit.
On the whole I had a lovely holiday, functioned well and felt that there were two major success points, the first was I managed to play badminton for 30mins, even worked up a sweat. Felt edgy when I finished as I waited for my heart rate to relax...which it did. The second ...well, We had a view of a place called Forte Le latte from our tent and decided to visit it. We parked in the car park, wondered about a mile or so through the woods turned a sharp bend then to my horror - there it was the Forte about a mile below us down a very steep and winding cliff path!!!!!! I stopped dead in my tracks, fear flooded my body, I started to sweat and shake - no way could I climb back up this path. Rob said, no worries we will just look from here, but my girls were skipping about saying lets go down. NO CHOICE - with grim determination we set of down the tracks. These were narrow dirt tracks so no cars could get down there was only two ways out, steep climb back or helicopter!!!! At the bottom I looked up and immediately burst into tears, certain death I was sure of it. Rob gave me a big hug and said come on hun, you can do it so with no other option we sent the girls on ahead and off we set. I could not look up the tracks as it was just to much to face so I looked at my feet and counted my steps. Half way up we stopped for me to catch my breath and I looked back and was overwhelmed but how far I had already climed. I made Rob video it just so I would believe it. We continued to climb and as I relaxed we ate the distance up and before I knew it we were at the top! WHAT A FEELING.
I only had one proper panic attack which happened on the last night, we went out to a posh restaurant and I started to feel trapped, could not breathe properly and every mouth full of food made my chest tighter and throat lump bigger. I lasted till the girls ate desert then just had to get outside. As soon as I did, everything calmed down great.
So here I am, in one piece an so glad I went. It was the most normal I have felt for ages. I am struggling a bit today though, the throat lump has decided to raise its ugly head again but then again I did partake of a lot of vino yesterday so it is not re