Bill
22-10-08, 03:14
I was watching the News today that reported a story about a man who had given up on life because he had lost all hope and felt no one cared about him. He jumped off a 90 ft cliff but survived and when he woke from his coma over 2 months later he felt a failure.
However, he then found out how much people really did care about him and he ended up writing a book. He now enjoys life and looks forward to living despite the injuries he now lives with.
It reminded me of when I went through my bad spell when I too felt alone, even though I had my parents. Everything was black and I could see no hope. I really didn't care what happened to me so I took od's and self harmed because I hated myself and also to relieve my mental pain.
I retreated into my shell, too afraid to talk about the feelings I held locked within. I felt alone and yet I was blocking myself from reaching out because I felt I was weak and didn't deserve to be cared about. I didn't feel that anyone would understand how I felt anyway. I felt trapped and I just gave up. Looking back I know how close I came to not being here because even a doctor told me that.
When we feel like that, we really do feel there's no hope and no light at the end of the tunnel. We can't see a glimmer when all around us is a dark forest but nor will we often allow others to shine a light because we feel undeserving and that we feel we're just seeking attention.
But then when we feel alone and need help, why shouldn't we seek attention? If we retreat to our shells hoping that like a storm it'll blow itself out, how will the sun ever shine?
Yes, I know, fear also prevents us from reaching out because when we've seeked help in the past we've always been belittled, put down or said we're weak! We end up believing what they say and so feel we don't deserve help either because we should be "strong" like everyone else!
But who are they to judge what is weak or strong? Do they care about others as much as you? Isn't caring a strength? You have to cope with all your irrational thoughts and fears but they don't so doesn't that mean you have more to cope with than them? How would they cope if they felt like you? Why shouldn't "you" deserve to be helped so you can live without fear?
If you think of what you're going through and all those yet to suffer your fears, think how much you will have to offer to those who will need someone to understand them.
Never give up on what Will be if you reach out for the help and support you deserve because there will always be people who genuinely care about others but you won't know until you allow yourself to crawl out of your shell.:hugs:
However, he then found out how much people really did care about him and he ended up writing a book. He now enjoys life and looks forward to living despite the injuries he now lives with.
It reminded me of when I went through my bad spell when I too felt alone, even though I had my parents. Everything was black and I could see no hope. I really didn't care what happened to me so I took od's and self harmed because I hated myself and also to relieve my mental pain.
I retreated into my shell, too afraid to talk about the feelings I held locked within. I felt alone and yet I was blocking myself from reaching out because I felt I was weak and didn't deserve to be cared about. I didn't feel that anyone would understand how I felt anyway. I felt trapped and I just gave up. Looking back I know how close I came to not being here because even a doctor told me that.
When we feel like that, we really do feel there's no hope and no light at the end of the tunnel. We can't see a glimmer when all around us is a dark forest but nor will we often allow others to shine a light because we feel undeserving and that we feel we're just seeking attention.
But then when we feel alone and need help, why shouldn't we seek attention? If we retreat to our shells hoping that like a storm it'll blow itself out, how will the sun ever shine?
Yes, I know, fear also prevents us from reaching out because when we've seeked help in the past we've always been belittled, put down or said we're weak! We end up believing what they say and so feel we don't deserve help either because we should be "strong" like everyone else!
But who are they to judge what is weak or strong? Do they care about others as much as you? Isn't caring a strength? You have to cope with all your irrational thoughts and fears but they don't so doesn't that mean you have more to cope with than them? How would they cope if they felt like you? Why shouldn't "you" deserve to be helped so you can live without fear?
If you think of what you're going through and all those yet to suffer your fears, think how much you will have to offer to those who will need someone to understand them.
Never give up on what Will be if you reach out for the help and support you deserve because there will always be people who genuinely care about others but you won't know until you allow yourself to crawl out of your shell.:hugs: