new to the site and would like some help

[sora]

hi, i just stumbled upon this website and allready it has been a help because i now know that alot of people feel like i do.

anyway back to what i am here for

I've been unemployed for about 3 years because of fear of working. i have tried to get jobs but i never go through with the interviews because im too scared. When i quit my first job (which was after 3 weeks of starting) i went to see someone about my fear of working. i got to see a counselor for about 6 months. When seeing her she helped me alot and also said i should take fluoxetine because at the time i was also trying to deal with my dads death which happened when i was 7 but only hit me then (i was 18).

After being with her for 6 months i felt alot better about myself and the death of my dad so she said it was time to stop seeing her and i came off of the tablets about 3 months after.

i never had a job up untill one month ago and i have become to feel the same again, i am so nervious the night and morning before i go to work, i get headaches mostly all the time and i feel sick and can only manage to eat one little meal a day because i feel sick. i also cant concentrate in work when i am getting told how to do things and in the nights when i go to bed i have trouble breathing and i am tired all the time but i asume thats because i have been doing nothing for the past couple of years.

my girlfriend also tells me that my moods are changing all the time like sometimes i am really down then i am happy (which i have been told that my dad was like that). i also get irritated by the tinyest things now and i dont want to do anything that i normally do like see friends or play guitar/video games.

sorry for this big wall of text and i hope someone will read it and just give me some advice and help

thank you

[sora]

hi again, so i took your advice and went to see my gp and he got a counsellor to contact me but when they did it was too much for me to pay so i went back to my gp and another counsellor will contact me in the middle of next week.

anyway, when i first seen my gp i told him everything and he said that i need to stick with my job so i did for another week and a half but today i had to ring them up and quit. i havnt slept well in the last couple of days because i was worrying about wether i should quit of not and i havnt been eating much in the last week but in the last 3 days i have ate nothing and have lost nearly 1 stone. i also have a constant head ache which i cant get rid of so i dont feel like doing anything just sitting in my room with the tv and lights off.

did i do the right thing to quit? i still have the worrying happening but its now about 'will i ever get a job that i like and if i get one will i quit it after a couple of days because i will worry so much?'

i hate the constant headaches and the sickness and i hate being alone in my house when everyone else is in work but i just couldnt face going to work anymore. as soon as i got there i just wanted to leave.

everyone was so happy when i got this job too, i dont know what i should say to them.
i just wish all this would stop right now and i could have a normal life


EDIT
also the side effects for my tablets that the doctor gave me are anxiety. would this be making me worse because since taking them i dont feel much better. i think they were called fluoxitine or something like that

[sora]

:weep:

[bumbles]

Hi therte side effects for tablets are awful and could easily make you feel worse. When you are in a high anxiety state thereis no point starting a job. You need CBT to teach you how to cope in the future. Take time for yourself and getting better, Good luck on your journey. X