Why Can't I Be Like Them

[diane07]

It amazes me sometimes, doing the job i do, and i am so highly respected, but feel so crap at times.

The thing is i am a home carer and look after the elderly, my oldest clients being 98 years of age:scared15: :yesyes:
I watch them walking around, most of them with angina, high blood pressure, arthritis, you name it, they've got it.

I can totally understand if they feared going out, incase they had heart failure, just died in the street, fall over with the slightest gust of wind and break a hip.................but they don't. They just get on with it.

It makes me question me.............. why do i fear sometimes being out in places incase i should hyperventilate........... nothing bad will happen to me but the chances of something serious happening to them is massive.

I watch them after every so many yards having to lean on a wall to catch their breath, they cant sit on benches as the damn kids keep breaking them. But they still travel into liverpool and walk around the shops even though it absolutely exhausts them, even when they could actually collapse in front of people they have never met...... how brave of them.

And then there is me petrified........... not always...........but sometimes ........of being out.

Makes me feel the weakest fraud out there............. and they think i'm a saint.

Can anyone else relate or understand this.

di xx

[pooh]

Hey Diane

my dad has suffered form anxiety and panic for many years ans he swears the older you get the less you care and the more chances you are willing to take ( well he is) I have to believe him cause i trust him and love him and I want that for myself.

Pooh x

[marie1974]

aww diane u r not a fraud, but i see wot u mean, i watch elderly people going about there business and they just get on with it, my nan was always like that, just got on with things and even passed her driving test at 57 after being petrified of driving first time, to drive my grandad to hospital appointments when he was ill and he couldnt drive anymore, they both dead now but i look at my nan and i think she is/was a super star and the family queen bee she never complained even with crippling arthritis of the spine.

i think the older generation were bought up to just get on with things, i guess they had it harder and had to survive, no time for anxiety etc.

i sometimes feel weak when i think about wot she did

[Yvonne]

Oh Diane

That's made me sad cos I know exactly what you mean.

There's an old man down in the village nearby who is literally bent over - it's pitiful to see. He is in the allotments every single day tending to his plants and it makes me want to weep.

I see old ladies getting on buses and the man who lives a few doors away from me is almost blind and 91 years of age and he gets on a bus to town. Old ladies and men, widowed, living alone, having to cope with everything by themselves... and they do it..... and here's me. I won't get on a bus for fear of a panic attack!!!!!

You are so right, it makes you feel like such a fraud doesn't it. Well done to you for doing the wonderful job you do because I know that is one of the most taxing jobs around. You take care and you be kind to yourself because you are doing a terrific job.

Yvonne

[diane07]

And what a wonderful attitude for him to have pooh.

But what i'm saying is we get told nothing bad will happen to us, as with old people something actually could.

Maybe with my old dears, they went through a war, so maybe there was no worse to fear, as the fear of death was strong enough then.

i don't mean this to sound depressing.
But it makes me question myself loads lately.

di xx

[eeyorelover]

Maybe it's the fear of the unknown. We fear what MIGHT happen but as a person gets older death isn't a question of IF it will happen but WHEN.
Perhaps that takes some of the fear out of it!

You are definitely NOT a fraud!
(((((((HUGS)))))))))
xxx
Sandy

[diane07]

Aww donna what a brave thing of your nan to do, i am full of admiration.

Yvonne, i see what you see everyday, it is so refreshing to know that other people who don't work in my field see it too.

That makes you such a sweet person to notice........... many don't.

[marie1974]

i think u r doing a great job matey working with the old folk and its great they think u r brilliant. hugs to u xxx

[diane07]

Aww thank you donna, i was put here to do the job i do, i love it so much.

Sandy, maybe you're right hun, maybe theres just no fear left in them.

If only i could tell myself that throughout the day lol!

[Yvonne]

Diane

You have to give yourself a pat on the back and realise that your job is not only mentally demanding but very physically demanding as well - I know because a friend of mine did it short term and found it much too demanding.

You are brave can you not see that? You do this job which many would not and you suffer with anxiety, for that you need a medal in my book.

Old people may not fear death ( neither do I as it happens). The thing is these people have no choice do they? - they have to go out and get their shopping or they would starve. I don't think I'm going to die with a panic attack or with high anxiety levels but I just cannot bear the feelings.

You just make sure you praise yourself for the wonderful work you do for those old people who I'm sure look forward to your visits. xxx

Yvonne

[kazzie]

Hi Di:D

I too used to work as a home carer and loved it:D

I also felt a fraud, but you are not Hunny just a professional:yesyes:

I loved every minute of being a carer, just enjoy:D

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[titchjd]

Hiya diane ...you are no waya fraud hun .

My dear dear Grandad used 2 ride his bike until he was 80 did odd jobs for his disabled neighbour and even had a heart attack chasing after the milk man at 82 who hadnt left his next door neighbours milk ...bles him...he used 2 catch the metro in 2 birmingham at 85 just 2 get out the house when my Nan passed away .....yet here I am 35 stressing about crosing the road 2 get my daughter from school..so I totally understand what u are saying .

i do believe its diferent for them because they were bought up differently and it shows how your thoughts have so much 2 do with anxiety as the elderly never think of what could happen they just do what they are used 2 where we spend so much time thinking about every decision we make and analyse every feeling we get we watch programes and read boks all 2 do with how we feel and what could happen .sometimes there is 2 much information .


But you are doing a fab job and you should never compare yourself 2 any1 else (even though I do all the time )....xxxxxxxxx


big hugs 2 u diane x:hugs:

titchjd xxxxxxxx

[diane07]

You are such a thoughtful bunch here,

This post was more a praise of my old dears, rather than me.
I worked as a health care assistant for years in nursing homes and hospitals, and every 2 hourly check that i did, i was taught to cuddle and kiss my oldies, as alot of the time it was the last kiss and cuddle they received before they passed away, i have spent so many years nursing them while they were dying, and only me there until they went.

I know that deep down i do a good job, and i do it well, but its the recognition that i get............. i believe they should take.

I just feel as old as they are and although they think they are weak...........they are alot stronger in character as i am, so strong is there will to live..............its more refreshing than mine sometimes.

I'm not down at all, i just wish i had there strength and their outlook on life............