View Full Version : Need honest opinions on my situ please.
Hiya folks hope you are all ok.
Right I would like your honest opinions Im in a bit of a pickle.
My best friend gets married end of Nov and Im scared stiff but hopefully will do it ..well next sat is the Hen Night In Birmingham ..I told her I would go and had planned on going ..but due 2 my financial situ I really dont have a penny went 2 financial advisor yest and he talked about bankrupcy thats how skint I am ..so I really cant afford 2 go next week ..theres a meal and drinks and an outfit and then taxi fair there and back which would be bout £40/£50 each way ..........I just cant afford that ...so what do I do ......My friend hasnt been very understanding with me over my anxiety and has the thinking that if I cancel anything Im pulling out cus of nerves but this time Im not .
Some people have said at work Oh u must go You are the bridesmaid you have 2 lend the money from some1 but I have no 1 .
Ive asked 2 see her 2moz 2 explain but I know shes not gna understand .
so question is would you go or not ...would you try and lend the money off some1 or stay at home xxxxxxx
help xxxxxxx:weep:
pinkpiglet
23-10-08, 17:43
If you havent got the money, then you havent got the money. Its that simple. Many, many people are in the same situation with the economic crisis. Just tell your friend straight to the point that you are skint, that you are sorry to let her down but you simply cannot muster up the cash, let her think what she wants, why should you get yourself into a state just because you are scared of her reaction. If she hasnt supported you with your anxiety then why should you worry about supporting her on her hen do? Sorry to be so blunt but what is wrong with you doing what suits you. This wedding as caused you enough anxiety as it is
ok hun, well i would be totally honest with your friend about everything, if she is a good friend she will understand and not make u feel bad.
if u have not got the money then theres not alot u can do, if u borrow the money u may worry about paying it back etc which may make u feel even crappier.
just b honest cos its best way, b upfront and if she is funny about it then thats her problem, in your circumstances u are very tied and she needs to realise that and hopefully b supportive.
janeybaby25
23-10-08, 17:54
if she was any sort of a friend then surely she would understand? It might be she hasn't been very understanding so far as she might be stressed over the wedding but if she any sort of a mate she will understand. Don't go on hen night, out of guilt, only go if you can actually afford it. Just be upfront like the others say. Let us know how you get on. xxxx
milly jones
23-10-08, 17:59
i would rather someone was honest with me
i would be mortified if i knew a friend was in such difficulty and i was putting more pressure on her
just take her for a coffee and explain how u cant go
she will understand hunny
she may even want to pay for u, so be aware of that and what ur answer would be
twill all be ok im sure hun
mill xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanx xxx
i just feel guilty not going as if Im letting her down....but then I also feel she regrets asking me because of my anxiety shes worried i wont be able 2 do it ......also we had arranged 2 do the bits and bobs together like the favours and wrapping presents ....then I found out she went 2 her other m8s last night and they have both done it all.......i just feel left out because of my anx arghhhhhhhhhhhh xxxxxx
bottleblond
23-10-08, 18:20
Hi mate
You are a single mum, working short hours. I certainly know how much of a struggle it is getting from week to week, nevermind a night out that would probably cost the earth. Honestly is defo the best policy and if your friend doesn't understand the situation you are in, then tell her to live in your shoes for a week.
Soap box away :biggrin:
Loads of love hun
Lisa
xxxxxx
I really think you should just be honest with her, to the extent I would not only tell her that you can't afford the Hen night but how hurt you feel about being left out from the preparations; after all those were things that you could have done together without costing you money.
She can either understand your situation or not and if she doesn't then she isn't a very good friend to you. I realise this is going to be difficult for you but circumstances are what they are and can't be helped.
I know there are lots of people trying to cope with similar financial situations at the moment and they don't have anxiety to deal with as well and some support from your friend is not a lot to ask.
You never know she might surprise you and be great abut it all; after all if you don't explain something how can anyone ever understand?
Hugs to you
Lynnann
Hun,
If i was the bride to be and you my bridesmaid and i really wanted you there, then i would pay it myself, tell her your predicament, maybe everyone will chip in............. but don't borrow and make things more difficult for yourself, it just ain't worth it.
di xx
I think honesty is the best policy!
WAAHHHH Id asked her 2 come round 2moz 4 a chat and shes just text and sed shes free now so shes on her way .....God I feel sick x:weep:
:bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1: :bighug1:
it will be ok, just be honest
Lynnann
we're all behind you hun xx
janeybaby25
23-10-08, 18:47
let us know what happens. best of luck. xxx
Let us know how you get on. Fingers crossed it will be ok.
You never know by the time you read this it will all be sorted out and you will be happier again.
Love lilibet x
just b honest matey, if she a proper friend she will understand, if she dont then mayb she not as good a friend as u thought. thinking of u and let us know hugs xx
Well Im drained ......she was ok about it and said she knew it was about that but was thinking it was cus of my anx she said thatif it was that then she would have told me 2 4get the lot bridesmaid aswell as I wasnt even trying....that hurt but we have had a gud talk and shes ok and has offered 2 pay and go on sunday and buy me a new top....I asked if she regreted asking me 2 be bridesmaid and she said yes sometimes but not nastily just that she doesnt want me 2 do something that is going 2 be so horrible for me .
Thanx every1 for your support ....I just have 2 deal with my anxiety on the hen night and wedding day cus I struggle with it big time xxxxxxxx
Thanx again every1 you are such gud support 2 me xxxxxxxxxx
Mate, just tell her how it is, if she is your mate she will understand xx
Don't get yourself into more of a pickle trying to please other people, christ I haven't been out on the town in ages cos I am too tight lol, my mates keep texting me saying hello stranger!
C xx
Hi Titch:)
I should just explain the situation
My mate wants me to make a 200 mile round trip this weekend to visit her Mum, I felt awful but had to tell her I simply dident have the time!!!
She is a bit huffy to be honest but hey she will get over it:doh:
Money is tight all round and its not worth spending money you dont have!!!
Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:
Thanx every1 x
God i just cant win with my anxiety .....after talking 2 m8 yesterday she offered 2 pay 4 me 2 go on hen night and I felt ok now Im just stressing about it haha why do I stress about anything out of the norm ...most people would love a night out or 2 be bridesmaid ..why am I so negative on everything xxxxxxxxxxx:weep:
aww just nerves matey, i bet u will have a lovely time.
just make sure that u def do wanna go, dont do it if it really is causing u to feel ill hun.
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 10:49
I agree with all comments on this thread Titch,
I mean taxi alone 40-50 squids each way!:ohmy:
When we rehearsed down the Local the other night, Katie and I only had 2 drinks each, the guy that came to help us with sound had 2, like £20 gone at a blink of an eye!
You take care,
Doc:)
Thats the hard thing though m8 I dont want 2 go but have 2 else my anx will have won again and i will be letting not only myself down but also My friend ......i have 2 go whatever as Jade is bridesmaid 2 ...its not the thought of being a bridesmaid its just being out all day away from home and having anx attacks which I still get constantly even at work Im just getting used 2 being back at work for 4 hours and now Ive got 2 be out all day at a wedding .
Thanx 4 yr support m8y .....dont know about enjoying myself Im gna look like a big xmas bauble as havent lost any weight haha :D
awww dont u worry about weight matey, u r lovely and u will look lovely too.
i agree about the anxiety winning and i do agree sometimes facing your fears are a very good thing to do, if u are ready and can do that xx
janeybaby25
24-10-08, 11:23
is the wedding in a hotel? if you staying over, why not just nip up to room when you feel an anxious moment coming on. xx
oh thats a good idea janey xx
Oh sam
Ok nickys verdict..i was gonna say she would not be a friend if she does not understand your fears. As for your money situation if you cant afford it you cant afford it...but yeah i would be gutted if my bridesmaid couldnt make it i have to say so i am glad she has offered to pay for you.
Honey you are very beautiful & in a new top you will feel a million dollars despite lacking in confidence you will. Spend time on you hair & make up have a few drinks and before you know it you will think what was i worrying about & hey you may even meet a guy!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:00
Yeah isn't it a tradition that bridesmaid's gets laid at Weddings or finds there future Husband?
Sorry, couldn't resist, hope it made you smile though Titch!:D
lmfao make sure u buy some sexy undies titch, if waynes right then your luck may change
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:07
http://www.granite-man.co.uk/front.jpg
Hey Titch, this was me on my Wedding Day last December, I have all the phobias under the sun, and anxiety probs, I done it fine.
You will be fine matey!
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww wayne that is just super duper, luv it.
u both look lovely and katie is beautiful hun xxxx
when u feel crap keep looking at that pic, cos thats your future
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:14
Thanks Donna, I do look at our Wedding pics often, does keep me going.
She kept that dress a secret from me right untill that pic was taken, fantastic dress and with the cloak! awsome!
Point I am making to Titch is relax, you will be just fine! :)
yes titch u can do this and look beautiful and b ok.
the dress is gorgeous matey both both look lovely, i do luv a good wedding hehe
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:20
Oh and thats Kim in that pic too, thing about us lot is we are all short! LOL
then again Jamie (16) is nearly taller than me now, I am 5' 7
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:22
yes titch u can do this and look beautiful and b ok.
the dress is gorgeous matey both both look lovely, i do luv a good wedding hehe
Yeah I do, I was gutted that I missed Katie's Mum's Wedding as I was in detox.
Yeah Titch, I seen your pics on facebook, you got nowt to worry about how you will look, you will be stunning!
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:32
lmfao make sure u buy some sexy undies titch, if waynes right then your luck may change
Yeah I got a thong you can borrow Titch! PMSL,
Never been used, good condition.
I am so in the dog House with Katie for saying that!:roflmao:
WOW your wife is Mrs santa??
Yes titch could do with getting laid, all her anxiety is sure to disappear then xxx
LMAO..you have cheered me up thanx .
Wayne what a beautiful picture m8 and what a great couple u are .....you are both very lucky 2 have each other x
A thong hehehe Id spend the day pickin it out my bum haha
Sexy underwear well I have big belly warmers 2 pull my tummy in :blush: x
Haha getting laid Id prob have a PA mind you he might think I was enjoying myself when actually i would be having a Panic attack hahaha x
Titch xxxxxxxxxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 14:17
LOL, you crack me up Titch!:D
you won't have a panic attack! you will be just fine.
lmao titch belly warmers, atleast if u start deep breathing he will think its cos he so wonderful lmao
haha i know there I would be in the height of passion when an attack happens .....deep breathing shaking panting then collapse after through the PA ...hed think he was a ryt stud hehe xxx:D
:roflmao: yes mate, he would b thinking he sumthing very special.
Glad everything worked out with your friend; I am sure you will have a fantastic time, and you will look gorgeous, belly warmers or not lol.
Who knows there might be a bloke there that finds belly warmers sexy lol
Lynnann
Hey Titch,
I agree with Diane, I too would pay for everything. If she is indeed a good friend she will keep you included and find a way so that you can be there to share this time with her. If not, so be it. Don't feel bad either way.
Hang in the let us know how it goes.
Natalie
Thank you every1 for your replies ....
worrier Iwill def let u all know how it goes .xxxx
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