View Full Version : Question for men...
.....but I know all the women will look too!
This is purely a question because I honestly don't know the answer.
Are there other men who feel bad for being "a man"?
What I mean is, that it's often said that men just want "one thing". You hear things like "Since it's your birthday, then ok" or "if it makes you happy then get on with it" or "Ok, but I'd rather get to sleep" and the famous one being "I've got a headache" or "I'm not in the mood".
This ISN'T meant to sound sexist because I know in BOTH sexes there are those who want it and those who can happily live without. It's just that when I hear these things it makes me feel bad for being a man so I often feel it's a nuisance to be sorted so I can forget about it.
My wife has never been tactile or wanted intimacy so I gave up years ago but I think this feeling stems from before I met her but I don't know where or why. Even if I wasn't married, I just always feel that it'd be wrong to even ask any woman because it feels like a favour, that they'd only be doing for my benefit but I'd rather give pleasure than receive.
Don't get me wrong, I'd enjoy it if love was involved but I'd still feel bad after as if it was a favour done for me. In my life as it is, I often feel it's a nuisance and I'd be happier if I didn't need to "sort it", if you know what I mean so that I didn't feel bad for being a man and needing it.
Does that make any sense to anyone???:shrug:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next dayI opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to have them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
Hello Kendo,
I was hoping you'd see this simply because I knew I'd find it interesting to read your reply which I must admit I found rather amusing! :) I'm not so sure it was for you though.
I think this might spark debate between the sexes so I'll hide under the covers! It'll be safer!:scared15:
I know every relationship involves give and take but even if I had the chance, I always find it very hard to take anything and if I then found out it was purely for my own benefit then I'd feel Really bad for being a man so I'd rather go without but then that creates frustation like you must have felt so I find it a nuisance which gets in the way of just getting on with each day! Maybe I should just have an operation!:shrug:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:41
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next dayI opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to have them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
PMSL, I am wetting myself by your post, I may reply when I calm down a bit, absolutely brilliant!!!!:roflmao:
...and i know this was one for the men...yeah right, but i loved it! thanks for a good laugh Ken :D
:ohmy: :ohmy: sorry pmsl :blush: i wont look anymore :whistles:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:53
I don't know whether to post something serious or not now! LOL
Still debating with myself!:D
oh bill u started something here my luvvy lmao
i would tread very careful doc, incase katie decides to punish u hehe
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 12:56
oh bill u started something here my luvvy lmao
i would tread very careful doc, incase katie decides to punish u hehe
Yeah, very brave topic to start! LOL
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 13:01
OK will say something on the serious side.
Women's sexual desire / needs are so different to Men.
Women like lots of cuddles and kisses, which is fine, I always kiss cuddle my Wife.
Our sex Life is fine, can be frustrating for a Man when you are so randy and partner has a "headache" LOL
I don't know if this thread is serious or not, I am laughing about it again!:D
Erm can i pretend i'm a bloke lol! call me bob.
Kendo......................pmsl
that was so funny.
I can honestly say that Sex doesn't really bother me. Too complicated and not worth the effort. I'd rather sit at my computer and write some code. Though I'm 59 and still fit and active and my wife is only 44, we don't participate. It must be over two years now since we had physical contact with each other. Of course she's free to do what she wants, it's her life.
Tom
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 13:17
I can honestly say that Sex doesn't really bother me. Too complicated and not worth the effort. I'd rather sit at my computer and write some code. Though I'm 59 and still fit and active and my wife is only 44, we don't participate. It must be over two years now since we had physical contact with each other. Of course she's free to do what she wants, it's her life.
Tom
Hi Tom,
Your post quite surprised me really.
How do you mean to complicated? If a couple love each other then the physical contact will happen.
2 Years? thats a long time.
Take care,
Doc
LMFAO Kendo, that cracked me up man ;)
Anyone got the number of a good pole dancer? who needs cuddles when you got wine for comfort ;)
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 13:30
LOL,
We got a pole in our bedroom, Katie used it for excercise, I think its just holding up the ceiling!
OMG I am so dead when Katie reads all my crap on this thread!:D
hiya bill, i know this is for men, i just wondered if u didnt mind, i just wanted to comment.
i think in a loving relationship, sex/lovemaking is part of that and i think personally it is needed to keep a relationship alive and exciting.
i think u quite often will get one person in a relationship who perhaps is not as bothered as the other but, i couldnt live in a relationship without it.
saying that if my hubby became ill or accident etc etc and couldnt perform, there are still ways around this as a couple i feel.
as a women i would not b in a relationship if i did not feel loved, we can all b told we are loved ,but u gotta show it too, i think thats important to me.
women like to feel special and beautiful and then good sex will follow, u both have to put in the effort.
ew ar, hope u dont mind me commenting, i think its good to see a men and womens opinions on this subject.
still cant believe kendo though, def made giggle
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 13:33
hiya bill, i know this is for men, i just wondered if u didnt mind, i just wanted to comment.
i think in a loving relationship, sex/lovemaking is part of that and i think personally it is needed to keep a relationship alive and exciting.
i think u quite often will get one person in a relationship who perhaps is not as bothered as the other but, i couldnt live in a relationship without it.
saying that if my hubby became ill or accident etc etc and couldnt perform, there are still ways around this as a couple i feel.
as a women i would not b in a relationship if i did not feel loved, we can all b told we are loved ,but u gotta show it too, i think thats important to me.
women like to feel special and beautiful and then good sex will follow, u both have to put in the effort.
ew ar, hope u dont mind me commenting, i think its good to see a men and womens opinions on this subject.
still cant believe kendo though, def made giggle
That is so true Donna, nice to see a Lady's point of view.
Doc
milly jones
24-10-08, 13:35
ok bill
i do understand ur frustrations
i do agree women see sex totally different to blokes
some people have medical conditions which limit libido, others have irrational fears that spoil sex. sometimes a partner who does not undertsand ur needs can cause more problems. its such a touchy subject, (lol)
kendo, ull be lucky to get anything before xmas lol
doc, katie pole dances for exercise!!! u lucky bloke
mill xx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 13:39
Hiya Mills! how are you?
Yeah, I have learnt over the Years Women need attention and hugs, like Donna said the sex will follow.
Some Men just want a quick shag, roll over, fart and go to sleep!
Don't work, Women needs cuddles and I do that (cuddles that is and not fart!)
milly jones
24-10-08, 13:41
im ok today ty doc, took girls for a walk and had coffee out, bit relieved if the truth be known, xxx
:roflmao: kendo hun when i started reading your post i was thinking oh thats so lovely diamond earings, clothes etc , then i got to the bottom bit and :ohmy: my jaw hit the floor matey, thats made me laugh all day.
i will say personally and i think quite a lot of women would agree, spending money on them is great and all, but i would rather have not alot of money, not a great social life but a loving partner who i can sit with at night and talk to, hug, have a laugh with and have great love making and feel good inside.
unfortunatally sometimes with pressures and stresses in life the simple stuff in relationships dont happen and thats where problems occur.
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 13:43
im ok today ty doc, took girls for a walk and had coffee out, bit relieved if the truth be known, xxx
Good Mills, glad your ok :yesyes:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 13:46
:roflmao: kendo hun when i started reading your post i was thinking oh thats so lovely diamond earings, clothes etc , then i got to the bottom bit and :ohmy: my jaw hit the floor matey, thats made me laugh all day.
i will say personally and i think quite a lot of women would agree, spending money on them is great and all, but i would rather have not alot of money, not a great social life but a loving partner who i can sit with at night and talk to, hug, have a laugh with and have great love making and feel good inside.
unfortunatally sometimes with pressures and stresses in life the simple stuff in relationships dont happen and thats where problems occur.
Yeah agree Donna,
We all have money problems and so much stress in Life, but lovemaking with your soulmate is a fatastic thing and its free!
yes wayne absolutely, u both have to work at relationships, i personally could not stay in a loveless relationship.
i been with my partner 16 yrs and had fair share of ups and downs and our relationship is better now than it was at beginning and when u been together along time u have to work at things sometimes ,but we have fun and a laugh and always find different ways to have fun. ew ar misses. lol
bill u got a very interesting read matey with this thread im lmao
hi bill
your post made my day. sorry guys i just had to peek. lol lol lol lol lol lol
debera
milly jones
24-10-08, 14:16
aww poor bill was being absolutely serious, (i think) !!!
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 14:20
So was I Mills!
Wasn't sure if it was serious or not, but I don't care, talk about anything me, you already guessed that! LOL
Had 2 have a peep..
unfortunately I cant give advice as i dont have a partner ..
Kendo my dad has that joke pinned up on his wall in his garage makes me laff evertym I see it :roflmao: sooooo funny ..it has small pics with it aswell like cartoon pics they are hillarious x
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Titch xxxxxxxxxxx
i think despite the laughs, some good points have been raised.
He was being serious, and so am I.
I thought sex was something you done when there was no football on ?
Captain Caveman eat your heart out ;)
I stopped having sex with my wife, I couldn't afford anymore kitchens, holidays and endless trips to NEXT for open wallet surgery.
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 14:28
He was being serious, and so am I.
I thought sex was something you done when there was no football on ?
Captain Caveman eat your heart out ;)
I stopped having sex with my wife, I couldn't afford anymore kitchens, holidays and endless trips to NEXT for open wallet surgery.
PMSL,
My x Wife, I used to have to pay her for some slap and tickle!
Cost me a fortune, luckily was only about once a Month!
OMG I think I am going to get another warning here! :D
Once a month? you lucky beggar lol, my wife prefers chocolate to sex.
Once a month? you lucky beggar lol, my wife prefers chocolate to sex.
You can't be doing it right Jaco :winks:.
I just had to say, i agree with donna,
We have four kids in our house and getting me and ray time can be very hard, however i make sure we get our time.
Every weekend, like tonight, we will go for a meal on our own, i think its so important to always remember to have special time, we talk, we kiss, we cuddle, i have a lock on the bedroom door and because i am made to feel top of the world, that is what i make him feel in return.
I think all the little things that make up a relationship are so important and making love is the icing on the cake.
There are two people in a relationship and both should always work hard to keep it loving and strong.
But thats just my opinion lol!
di xx
Aww that's sweet :)
My wife has a lock on the door too, she locks it from the inside when I am still downstairs.
Aww that's sweet :)
My wife has a lock on the door too, she locks it from the inside when I am still downstairs.
Lmao,:roflmao: .. tee hee.
Aww that's sweet :)
My wife has a lock on the door too, she locks it from the inside when I am still downstairs.
:roflmao: haha thats made me chuckle x
milly jones
24-10-08, 15:39
lol jaco xxx
lmao
jaco you need to have words with your wife
:roflmao:
jodie x
Bill Im gonna haul your thread back to seriousness even though I'm not a man!
I am sorry but I disagree with the sexist sweeping generalisations made about either male or female sex drives, needs for affection, emotional attention or the need for a man to splash his cash to get the proverbial leg over. It's all bunkum. An individula's libido is an individual's libido. The same applies to the need for closeness, afection and attention. It's all about how tactile and sexually driven you are.
so there! lol
Pooh xxxx
Oh and bill stop apologising for having a sex drive you are completely normal and most likely totally frustrated. This isnt about you being a man Bill its about your perception of your sexual needs wants and desires ( that include closeness and intimacy)
Pooh xx
milly jones
24-10-08, 17:48
well said pooh xxx
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
24-10-08, 18:17
Bill Im gonna haul your thread back to seriousness even though I'm not a man!
I am sorry but I disagree with the sexist sweeping generalisations made about either male or female sex drives, needs for affection, emotional attention or the need for a man to splash his cash to get the proverbial leg over. It's all bunkum. An individula's libido is an individual's libido. The same applies to the need for closeness, afection and attention. It's all about how tactile and sexually driven you are.
so there! lol
Pooh xxxx
Hiya Pooh,
I have read your post over and over again, and not sure what you mean, did I say something that was sexist?:blush: Paranoid now, I thought I just said what I thought and don't think I am sexist at all.
eeyorelover
24-10-08, 18:33
WOW
That's really all I can think of to say!!!!
Women aren't all money hungry or asexual.
I know that isn't what anyone who wrote on this thread intended to put across but I felt the need to point out that some women actually enjoy sex!!!!
Personally if I had to wait for weeks, months, or (GOD FORBID) years to get my groove on I'd just DIE!!!!!
Ok that was way way WAY TMI!!!
hehe
lmao sandy u r funny:roflmao:
Hiya Pooh,
I have read your post over and over again, and not sure what you mean, did I say something that was sexist?:blush: Paranoid now, I thought I just said what I thought and don't think I am sexist at all.
I don't think that was aimed at you, it was Pooh saying she disagrees with the generalistic sweeping views that are long held,. That women are felt to have less physical needs than men. I agree with Pooh I think that is utter tosh. It's an individual thing. No doubt women like hugs and stuff but some men do also, hugs are all well and good but that doesn't mean you don't want to have sex just because you enjoy a cuddle or whatever first. It's an individual thing.
Bill, honestly you really shouldn't feel bad and maybe this is something you need to talk to someone about. To see why you feel this way.
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next dayI opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her to have them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
psml....thats is class....mint.... funniest thing ive read in ages.
Pooh, stop accusing people of being sexiest, haven't you got ironing to do?
You know when you post something then think, ooops
lmao jaco, poo gonna deck u mate
milly jones
24-10-08, 20:29
lol jaco, this thread has been such fun to read today xx
Pooh, stop accusing people of being sexiest, haven't you got ironing to do?
Just wonderin jaco did u watch the Celtic match Tue , what was the score again .....oh yeah 3-0..haha ......must go got ironing 2 do xxxxxxxx
Personally if I had to wait for weeks, months, or (GOD FORBID) years to get my groove on I'd just DIE!!!!!
Trust me, it's surprising what you can put up with if you have to...
eeyorelover
24-10-08, 20:31
Oh Jaco you are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E !!!
Just wait!!!!!
She is gonna kick you right in your vertical smile!!!
hehe
milly jones
24-10-08, 20:33
aww francis hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Oh Jaco you are in T-R-O-U-B-L-E !!!
Just wait!!!!!
She is gonna kick you right in your vertical smile!!!
hehe
lmao that is so funny
eeyorelover
24-10-08, 20:35
Trust me, it's surprising what you can learn to put up with.
Ummmm nope couldn't do it!!
Would have to take a trip to the local shop and buy me something to put a smile on my face!
And I ain't talking about clothes or jewelry neither!!!!!!
This thread is gonna get me in trouble!!
It's like a car wreck - you don't wanna look but you can't turn away either!!!!!
;)
Ummmm nope couldn't do it!!
Would have to take a trip to the local shop and buy me something to put a smile on my face!
And I ain't talking about clothes or jewelry neither!!!!!!
This thread is gonna get me in trouble!!
It's like a car wreck - you don't wanna look but you can't turn away either!!!!!
;)
lol i have to agree i personally couldnt go without it for too long, thank god for good women gadgets ey :blush:
Yip Donna, them washing machines are invaluable to women heh? ;)
milly jones
24-10-08, 20:39
woman gadgets rofl
milly jones
24-10-08, 20:40
women gadgets and a washing machine, cool idea jaco lol
Yip Donna, them washing machines are invaluable to women heh? ;)
:roflmao: wasnt quite wot i was thinking but i know they vibrate well when on a good spin :D
eeyorelover
24-10-08, 20:42
Ummmmmm just to keep it clean I will only say two words ....
SPIN CYCLE!!!!!
OMG
PMSL
Yip Donna, them washing machines are invaluable to women heh? ;)
milly jones
24-10-08, 20:42
lol just what i was thinking too donna lol
LMAO ...just getting a pen 2 write all these tips down ...ryt so its a womans gadget on top of a washer .....god sounds a bit tricky but hey Im up for anything lol.....xx.....fed up with my Rabbit ...oh and not furry type :blush:
eeyorelover
24-10-08, 20:42
Great minds think alike Donna!!!
hehe
milly jones
24-10-08, 20:44
aww poor bunny will get lonely
pets? washing machines? are we talking about the same thing?
lmao, well hasnt this thread for MEN given us GIRLS som great tips, we dont need men now do we, unless we can find another use for them hehe
Oi Oi if it's a battle of the sexes you want? ;) women get married in white to match the other kitchen appliances
And they have small feet so they can get closer to the sink
milly jones
24-10-08, 20:49
:madness:
eeyorelover
24-10-08, 20:49
pets? washing machines? are we talking about the same thing?
Ummmm Jaco I think I figured out why you ain't getting any!!!!
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
jk
And they have small feet so they can get closer to the sink
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Thank her.
When do you care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
Why do men get married??
So they don't have to hold their stomachs in anymore
What do men and used cars have in common?
They are both easy to get, cheap, and totally unrealiable.
Why are men like the weather.
Nothing can be done to change either of them.
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A fairy tale.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling
your name?
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to use it.
How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a pretty girl.
I think you are being insensitive Donna, if you didn't know, my wife left me and ran off with the next door neighbour
I will miss him
:roflmao: poor bill, he wont believe the response he had to this thread, im glad atleast some of this is serious :whiplash:
Yer sorry Bill man, but I know what you mean, trust me
Now I'm feeling guilty for starting the jokes in this thread, & detracting from Bill's very profound OP.
Bad kendo, bad bad kendo.
I'm sure Bill will forgive me.
To address the OP...
I actually think my situation is the opposite. I'm the one who has lost the libido, while I know my partner gets very frustrated at the lack of intimacy. It's difficult to explain, it's not just 'sex' that I've lost my appetite for, but the whole situation with family rejection/being out of work/depression, etc has left me feeling... (hard to really explain)... a failure, lacking in self-esteem, less of a man & less able/deserving/wanting of the huggs & cuddles? I guess I've become more withdrawn... from society, & from my partner. Does that make any sense? I don't feel guilty for wanting sex while she doesn't. Quite the opposite. I feel guilty for not wanting it, while she does.
And of course, the more frustrated she gets, the more we bicker & argue, the less I want to get close... and so the cycle perpetuates itself.
bottleblond
24-10-08, 21:16
Bill
You bring the wine, i'll light the candles :winks:
OMG naughty naughty Lisa
Mwah mate
Love Lisa
xxx
Bill
You bring the wine, i'll light the candles :winks:
OMG naughty naughty Lisa
Mwah mate
Love Lisa
xxx
:roflmao: hey bill hun, theres an offer u cant refuse matey, just dont take jaco with u cos he will cramp your style hun.
OMG I am so sorry that I stopped working for Ann Summers now, I am sure that I could have had some really good rabbit sales on here today!
I can't believe how this thread started out so seriously and Bill, you were very brave being so open about it but my God....I have followed this thread today and not stopped laughing all day!
xx
Also, thank you all for keeping my Waynie in such good humour today! He is much happier than he has been for a while, because he has had such a laugh on this forum with you all.
Yer Bill, just what you need, a man eater ;)
also, (re Lisa)....hey Bill, watch out, I met my Wayne on a forum and ended up married to him!!!! :-)
eeyorelover
24-10-08, 21:21
OHHHHHHHHHHH I AIN'T GOING TO TOUCH THAT COMMENT!!!
UH UH!!!!
Jaco are you TRYING to get me in trouble???!!!!
PMSL
Yer Bill, just what you need, a man eater ;)
OMG I am so sorry that I stopped working for Ann Summers now, I am sure that I could have had some really good rabbit sales on here today!
I can't believe how this thread started out so seriously and Bill, you were very brave being so open about it but my God....I have followed this thread today and not stopped laughing all day!
xx
Also, thank you all for keeping my Waynie in such good humour today! He is much happier than he has been for a while, because he has had such a laugh on this forum with you all.
hiya katie, thats really great matey and i hope u r doing ok too. hugs to u both xxx
Could this be the answer to the chocolate thing ?
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
I met my wife after chatting up her sister
I'm ducking :blush: . Just a joke, just a joke.
Could this be the answer to the chocolate thing ?
Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
:roflmao:
Hello Bill and All
Numero Uno Dr kong you have more than enough qualifications and affiliations with organisations to know better than to get paranoid lol
JAco I am a twenty first century woman and my man does all the ironing cooking and cleang get with the times man.
Kendo consider yourself chastised. Not for being funny but because i think you stole that joke from a comedy act or an email LOL
Donna feel free to hit me anywhere but please stay away from my right foot and leg i truely am in agony after my argument with the gripper rod. And at my work today they had the sheer thoughlessness to have carpet fitters in flaunting their gripper rod around the place. How is that for insensitive, I ask you?
Lila you get a gold star for getting the point of my previous post LOL
On a parting note I would like to ask you all a question. Do you not think that sex is completely overated until you have had to go sometime without it? ( virgins are exempt from answering except on the grounds of imagination) lol
Pooh x
11 members viewing the post is this a record?
JAco I am a twenty first century woman and my man does all the ironing cooking and cleang get with the times man.
poo that is so funny hun, did make me giggle
OMG I am so sorry that I stopped working for Ann Summers now, I am sure that I could have had some really good rabbit sales on here today!
I can't believe how this thread started out so seriously and Bill, you were very brave being so open about it but my God....I have followed this thread today and not stopped laughing all day!
xx
Also, thank you all for keeping my Waynie in such good humour today! He is much happier than he has been for a while, because he has had such a laugh on this forum with you all.
Oh u dont have any left over Rabbits do u katie hahah mines a little worn out poor thing hehe x
M8 u and wayne have a fantastic thing 2 getha hun and anytym either of u need anythin we are here m8y xxxxxxxxx
hugs 2 u
titchjd xxxxxxxxxxx
I only have two things to say to all of you ladies, the blatant abuse you speak off against Rabbits is really uncalled for and I am calling PETA (people for ethical treatment of Animals) to report you all.
And to answer Pooh, nope I don't think it's over-rated, I think it's under-rated half the time unless of course you have a Rabbit :roflmao:
Well, this thread was worth starting otherwise Kendo wouldn't have kept you all laughing all day!!!:D Laughter is a good distraction from anxiety!
Oh, and by the way, the answer is?:D I think the message was buy a washing machine with a rabbit on top, switch on and leave, dumping the male sex drive in the bin on the way out!:D
I did see also something about having a lock on a bedroom door? Well, I don't need one, and never have done because it never even gets knocked!
They were generalised statements at the beginning just like the ones you hear about mother-in-laws! (I'm not starting a thread on that one!!!) As you say, we're all individuals so some need things others don't. The problem starts when one does and one doesn't! What is important to one, is unimportant to another.
Hugs, love and affection are much more important because when you're elderly you can't manage the other but when you're young, it should all be part and parcel of being in love.
Having thought more about my original question, I think I know now why I feel as I do and why I feel bad for being "normal". It's because I've never been treated as "normal" unlike so many others on here with their loving partners and I must admit I do often hurt when I read others stories about things I've never had but that's life.
I used to have so many romantic thoughts of going out for a candlelit meal (like dear Lisa said) or to a theatre, then coming home to massage my partner (as Donna said on another thread) until she'd had enough before eventually making passionate love and sleeping in each others arms. The next morning as she opens the door, a large bouquet of flowers would be delivered as a surprise to show my love and she'd be moved to tears. I'd cme downstairs and she'd wrap me in her arms before I escort back upstairs to show my love for her more.
I know, life's not like that though but I wish it was. You can empty the sick bin now! lol:hugs:
Well, this thread was worth starting otherwise Kendo wouldn't have kept you all laughing all day!!!:D Laughter is a good distraction from anxiety!
Oh, and by the way, the answer is?:D I think the message was buy a washing machine with a rabbit on top, switch on and leave, dumping the male sex drive in the bin on the way out!:D
I did see also something about having a lock on a bedroom door? Well, I don't need one, and never have done because it never even gets knocked!
They were generalised statements at the beginning just like the ones you hear about mother-in-laws! (I'm not starting a thread on that one!!!) As you say, we're all individuals so some need things others don't. The problem starts when one does and one doesn't! What is important to one, is unimportant to another.
Hugs, love and affection are much more important because when you're elderly you can't manage the other but when you're young, it should all be part and parcel of being in love.
Having thought more about my original question, I think I know now why I feel as I do and why I feel bad for being "normal". It's because I've never been treated as "normal" unlike so many others on here with their loving partners and I must admit I do often hurt when I read others stories about things I've never had but that's life.
I used to have so many romantic thoughts of going out for a candlelit meal (like dear Lisa said) or to a theatre, then coming home to massage my partner (as Donna said on another thread) until she'd had enough before eventually making passionate love and sleeping in each others arms. The next morning as she opens the door, a large bouquet of flowers would be delivered as a surprise to show my love and she'd be moved to tears. I'd cme downstairs and she'd wrap me in her arms before I escort back upstairs to show my love for her more.
I know, life's not like that though but I wish it was. You can empty the sick bin now! lol:hugs:
No, life isn't quite like that Bill, well not for me anyhow.
eeyorelover
25-10-08, 05:02
It is a lovely thought Bill.
You say 'that's life' but I truly do believe that everyone deserves to be loved in that way!
If that isn't the case then perhaps it's time to have a conversation with your mate about what can be done to change things.
Maybe counseling would help?
I sure hope that you get to have that kind of love Bill!!
You truly deserve it!!!
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
25-10-08, 09:57
Hi Bill,
Hope you didn't get upset by anything I said, I wasn't laughing at you and I don't think anyone else was.
You do have a good point, and to be honest I do feel sorry for anyone that does not get the love and attention and sex they need.
When one in a couple doesn't feel the same, then thats when a relationship becomes in trouble in my opinion.
My Wife and I are so lucky in that department, I don't need to massage her, if I did, she would jump me quicker! :D Don't need to buy flowers all the time, I just tell her how I feel about her, doesn't have to cost money to show someone how much you love and adore them.
hello bill, yes i have to agree that love isnt all about money and flowers, although nice sometimes, its about spending quality time together even if that is just an evening on the sofa with a bottle of wine and pizza.
that time is so important cos after a stressful day/week wotever it shows us that we are still loved and still important and still wanted.
i do feel for anyone who is stuck in a relationship where there is very little love shown in any way, as human beings it is natural for us to want and need these things in life that cost nothing and i personally would feel very very lost and alone without it.
i could not be in that kind of relationship cos i would b searching for wot i was missing and that wouldnt b fair on me or my partner, so i think i would have to either try to fix the problem or move on.
thanks for a very interesting thread bill, i think a thread like this could keep going and going and despite a few laughs it has a very serious side to it.
hugs xx
can we get back to the humour now? LOL
(you know I is kiddin Bill hehe)
Pooh x
LMAO Pooh hehehe :D xxxxxx
well i got a bottle wine in tonight so hubby will b pleased few glasses and i will av me legs in the air pmsl oops mayb that was TMI hehe.
well i got a bottle wine in tonight so hubby will b pleased few glasses and i will av me legs in the air pmsl oops mayb that was TMI hehe.
:lisa:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
25-10-08, 23:34
well i got a bottle wine in tonight so hubby will b pleased few glasses and i will av me legs in the air pmsl oops mayb that was TMI hehe.
PMSL,
I just get this slight feeling that you will delete that post Sunday Morning! :D
X factor was brill Tonight and I thought the results were right.
or am I on the wrong thread with that comment? :blush:
PMSL,
I just get this slight feeling that you will delete that post Sunday Morning! :D
X factor was brill Tonight and I thought the results were right.
or am I on the wrong thread with that comment? :blush:
pmsli have no ideas of results and am abit wated tonight, thamku
i could not be in that kind of relationship cos i would b searching for wot i was missing and that wouldnt b fair on me or my partner, so i think i would have to either try to fix the problem or move on.
What is said above is very true for most people but there are different types of anxiety and not all can be cured by therapy or anything else because sometimes you reach a point in your life when the cost outweighs the benefits because it's not just fear that would need confronting but also your conscience you would then have to live with. I couldn't live with mine so I try to find other things to live for within my self-inflicted limitations. That's the wrong thing to say and maybe it even saddens others to read but I know "me" which is why I miss my father so much because he understood me.
My mother once told me that he used to write romantic poems for her which she still has, he would often buy flowers and Always put her first before himself. On one of her birthdays, he placed a different birthday card for her in every room of the house. That's how much he loved her. It's not about money and gifts though, it's about showing how much you love your partner by treating them as NO.1. Well, that's what I believe anyway.
I did use to try to love my wife in a romantic way but because of her illness and the way she is, she could never respond or show appreciation for my efforts in the same ways in return so I gave up trying and she didn't even notice because the things most people on here would take for granted in a relationship, to her are unimportant or needed, but like I say, I care for her and have done for 18 years so I couldn't live with "me" if I now attempted to resign.
10 years ago when I reached a point where I'd lost hope, rather than leave to be alone, I took od's and self harmed because of my mental pain and because I hated myself for being too soft and weak. I saw no escape from my trap. A few years later I did once reach a point where I considered "myself" but after losing my father, the confidence I'd gained and the incentive were lost.
I know it's hard to understand, just as self harming is to some but all I know is that to live, you also have to live with your conscience.
I think I know now why I feel bad for needing things I don't have but I would consider myself pure evil if I were to put my needs first at the cost of others whoever they were, especially those I care about, unless it were to mutual benefit. I know some people won't believe me no matter what I say but I know what my heart says so if they could see into my soul they would know every word I say is true.
One thing we should always be able to do though, as has been shown on this thread, is that we should always be able to laugh at ourselves. I've enjoyed Everything people have said on this thread without exception so Thank you for making life "lighter". Laughter always helps us to relax!:hugs:
eeyorelover
26-10-08, 04:14
Hi Bill -
I've been married for over 19 years and believe me I understand about your wanting to make sure your wife is content with the relationship.
What's the saying??.... If Momma ain't happy then NO ONE is happy :)
My husband strives to give me the same selflessness that you are providing for your wife but the thing is that I feel the same way towards him so it's a mutual give and take that makes the marriage work. I would never want him to give up his wants and needs to provide for mine.
If your wife is having issues where she is unable to show appreciation or even interest due to her illness then she really does need to try and get some help to work on that.
There is nothing wrong with needing affection and attention. Regardless of whether it leads to sex or not everyone feels the need to be wanted and loved! You shouldn't have to give up those things to make the marriage work.
This is a terrible analogy but here goes anyway....
I absolutely have no interest in car shows on the television.
Could care less about rebuilding an engine BUT my hubby loves them so I will sit with him and watch the car show and by the end of it I find myself interested in some part of the program myself. I even have from time to time asked him to explain some of it that I thought was interesting.
Would I rather watch something else, YES, but if it makes him happy then I'm more than willing to do it and in the process it's not so bad :)
Told you it was a terrible analogy but you get the general idea :)
xxx
Sandy
Hello Sandy:hugs:
I'm afraid to say that to get my wife to treat me like a "normal" husband would be like asking a stone to become a sponge because some things cannot be taught or it becomes artificial like programming a robot to behave as a human.
However, even if by some miracle she suddenly swamped me with hugs or dragged me to bed with her, I wouldn't want it because I can't feel that way towards her so in a way how she is suits me. Her illness runs far deeper than emotions though. Personal hygeine is something they can't fix either. Another reason not to get too close if you get my drift!
I do care though because she can't help being the way she is just as anxiety makes us the way we are, even though anxiety isn't so severe because unlike her, we can rationalise things.
I'd be watching a car show while she falls asleep! lol:hugs:
i have to agree with sandy,its the mutual desire for each others happiness
that really works in our marriage.bill i am really sorry you feel that you are being given a favour in sex,i must be a very lucky man as nearly all my sexual encounters,whether one night or one year ,have all been overflowing with love and desire.i see it as my job as a lover to make my beloved wife
happy in bed and ,in turn,this makes me very very happy.i hope this doesnt upset anyone,but we often roll around laughing,there is alot of 'play' between us which is both funny and sexy.i am one lucky man by the sounds of this thread.making my wife feel beautiful is my favourite job!:)
hiya ade, everything u have said i agree with, my relationship is like that too.
we have had our probs in the past but worked through them and now our relationship is really good.
I was thinking today, how can I explain how different our relationship is to most peoples and why? I came up with the following...
Could you abandon a sick child after 18 years of caring for her? Well, that's what she's like. A woman who in many ways thinks like a child. She can only take in "simple" things like nature and animals. Anything technical she can't understand such as pc's, mobiles, changing a light bulb or even some aspects of operating a TV. She can't follow the News, politics or films. She can't remember phone numbers, spelling or do calculations. Everything involves asking me constant questions. There is alot more but that gives you a flavour.
I took her to a firework display at the weekend. She loves her fireworks just as children do and then she saw the "crooked house" in the fairground. She'd never been in one before so of course I took her in. It was really just for children so it was :blush: for me but she loved it.
Hopefully, you can see now why there is no romance, passion or rolling about with laughter. However, when you make a commitment to someone as ill as my wife, I know I have no right to expect what others have which I think is why I feel bad for needing what I miss.:hugs:
Dr Kong, AKA Wayne
28-10-08, 07:15
Hi Bill,
I think we can all see the bigger picture now and understand why you are craving a "normal" relationship, if there is such a thing!
I feel sorry for you and your partner, just want to send my best wishes to you both,
Doc:)
I was thinking today, how can I explain how different our relationship is to most peoples and why? I came up with the following...
Could you abandon a sick child after 18 years of caring for her? Well, that's what she's like. A woman who in many ways thinks like a child. She can only take in "simple" things like nature and animals. Anything technical she can't understand such as pc's, mobiles, changing a light bulb or even some aspects of operating a TV. She can't follow the News, politics or films. She can't remember phone numbers, spelling or do calculations. Everything involves asking me constant questions. There is alot more but that gives you a flavour.
I took her to a firework display at the weekend. She loves her fireworks just as children do and then she saw the "crooked house" in the fairground. She'd never been in one before so of course I took her in. It was really just for children so it was :blush: for me but she loved it.
Hopefully, you can see now why there is no romance, passion or rolling about with laughter. However, when you make a commitment to someone as ill as my wife, I know I have no right to expect what others have which I think is why I feel bad for needing what I miss.:hugs:
Hiya Bill:)
I have always known your troubles and it can't be easy.
You shouldn't feel bad for needing what you miss, it can only be a natural wanting. I think that anybody in your situation would feel just the same.
Hey, whats wrong with the crooked house ? Fairgrounds are a giggle:winks: .
Best wishes Bill.:hugs:
hiya bill i know the probs u have with your wife etc and how it makes you feel but i have to say, hat off to you, because in your situation there would b alot of people who say enoughs enough and not b able to cope etc.
but u, even though u dont love her as a wife, u still do have abit of fun with her and prob enjoy each others company and u do respect her and look after her so well.
it takes a lot of patience to do wot you do im sure, and at times yes u must be looking for a brick wall just to bash out your frustrations etc, but u r doing a really good job and like you say your wife doesnt really have anybody so she is very lucky u care so much, even without the stuff u miss so much.
mayb u 2 are good for each other and depsite her problems she makes u feel wanted and needed and that helps u to feel good about you?
Thank you for understanding how I feel.:hugs: As you say Donna, I try to think about what I have rather than dwell on what I will probably never have or I'd end up feeling as I used to in my bad spell without hope for the future. Having said that though, I know alot of people are much worse off than me suffering with anxiety to a much greater degree so I should be grateful for my security and that I have at least learnt to cope within my confinements.
Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary since I lost my father. I tried not to dwell on memories too much either but as with anxiety, sometimes your mind simply won't let you focus on the things you do still have, especially when you hurt so much because of the things you no longer or will never have.
Thank you for caring.:hugs: xxx
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