Unexpected setback

[Smiley?]

I thought I was doing ok..... but then had a complete meltdown on the way to work this morning.

I went back to work on Wednesday after some annual leave, didn't feel 100% but made it through the shift. Then today, was meant to be on a long day. Was all set to go, did cry before I went (not sure why - just a bit scared I spose), got in car, drove off and then just cried, and cried, and cried :weep:

Got 3/4 the way to work and after trying to calm myself down mainly by talking to myself which turned into frustrated shouting and screaming (thankful it was still dark!) I had to pull over.

I couldn't carry on. I couldn't see the road for a start! Phoned home and my boyfriend offered some soothing words. Luckily he was able to ring work for me and explain why I wasn't there. He said they were sympathetic and said I shouldn't worry and look after myself :weep: :weep:

I took my last Citalopram 20mg on Tuesday (doctor's orders) and thought I was doing ok. Didn't expect it to hit me this quick! I wouldn't say I'm totally broken again just yet. I'm ok. But i'm obviously not right??!!?

Feeling a bit better after having some more sleep, although I did have some pretty vivid dreams.

Hoping it will get better? But just feel like crying to be honest. It worries me that I can't cope with work and I'm off sick again. Supposed to be back on Sunday for a night shift :ohmy:

If anyone can help i'd be very grateful

x

[gtrgrl3369]

Good for you for at least trying to go. Keep trying an it will get easier. Weaning of meds is hard and can make your body nuts for a few days until they are all out of your system. Crying is good for the soul. I always feel better after a good cry. It is nice you have a good man to help and offer kind words, those are always helpful. Try not to think about the upcoming shift and focus on one day at a time. It will be easier to focus on just that day. You can do this, you have already proved you can. It takes time. Tale care and dont be hard on yourself if you feel the need for more time.

[bumbles]

Your doctor should have taken you off those meds slower than 20mg to nothing. Take care you will be fine soon just takes a little time. I crioed non stop when I came off seroxat three years ago. Just started on Citalopram and having awful time getting on the things Axiety is through the roof on them and really down "cant win can we"

[Smiley?]

thanks people

sometimes it's just good to actually hear the things you already know deep down, but sort of forgot.

I was really surprised the doc agreed i could just stop the meds, but he thinks they're not working either. I'm seeing him again a week on tuesday so if i'm still in a state I don't know what he's got planned. Think different meds might be on the cards - boo!!!!

Just really don't know what to do about work. Part of me wants to go but part of me is so glad I didn't have to face it today, i do worry about it in advance, can't help it. Sometimes the anticipation is as bad as being there. I know I love my work but I can't give as much as I want to (i'm a midwife). I so want to care for the women but I've got nothing to give!

Got myself blubbing again now!!!


PS. Sorry nomorepanic for the duplicate post - silly laptop/wireless
See - i'm worried about that now too!! lol

[Yvonne]

Smiley

How long were you on the citalapram? Surprised doc has taken you off it just like that as well! YOu'd be surprised how quickly your brain realises it isn't getting what it's used to. I think you have come off it too quick for sure.

It sounds like you are not ready to go back to work, I don't know the background but it seems you have been working but have just had some holiday. You really weren't up to going to work and you must be kind to yourself now. You couldn't handle it and that's that.

From what you have said the citalapram wasn't working for you - didn#t the doctor suggest another med for you - he could have cross tapered you onto something else.

Hope you are feeling a bit better - it's not easy and you have to just keep trying to be positive. xx

Yvonne

[milly jones]

hunny we all have blips too

please dont be so hard on urself

hugs

milly xxxx

[janeybaby25]

aw just hugs. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::h ugs:

[Smiley?]

thanks for all the hugs - it means alot. thank you so much :-)

Yvonne - been on citalopram since april (background on introductions if you want to look, won't bore everyone again) Been tapered onto other things before - i don't think anything works!

Think the gp is testing me a bit. He knows I don't have confidence in the meds and that i don't like taking them. So he agreed with me stopping maybe so after 2 weeks he can say "told you so" and suggest a different one?!

Don't get me wrong, he's a great gp. Listens to what i think and talks to me rather than just writing a prescription and sending me on my way. He said he'd sign me off work if thats what i want - what do you think?