shortstuff
25-10-08, 22:15
I'm NOT feeling suicidal but find myself 'wishing' for death several times a day. I was diagnosed with panic disorder 6 months ago and have made variable progress since. On the whole I'm loads better than I was and the panic attacks are rare but the heightened anxiety remains pretty constant.
For a couple of months before the panic attacks started I'd been in a bad depression and was very much feeling suicidal - to the point I was at the planning stage! This is totally different. I suppose its frustration which leads to the thoughts - frustration that I find many everyday situations almost impossible to deal with, or feel that I am incapable of managing most aspects of my life.
The thoughts vary from a fleeting thought of "I'd be better off dead" to fantasies that I will be involved in a fatal accident. I even found myself envious when I heard that a relative has terminal cancer!
The strangest thing in all of this is that I actually feel quite rationale at the moment. I am generally calmer than I have been in recent months, so these thoughts just don't make sense.
Has anyone else experienced this? I'd feel a fool going to the GP for this as, on the whole, I feel better.
For a couple of months before the panic attacks started I'd been in a bad depression and was very much feeling suicidal - to the point I was at the planning stage! This is totally different. I suppose its frustration which leads to the thoughts - frustration that I find many everyday situations almost impossible to deal with, or feel that I am incapable of managing most aspects of my life.
The thoughts vary from a fleeting thought of "I'd be better off dead" to fantasies that I will be involved in a fatal accident. I even found myself envious when I heard that a relative has terminal cancer!
The strangest thing in all of this is that I actually feel quite rationale at the moment. I am generally calmer than I have been in recent months, so these thoughts just don't make sense.
Has anyone else experienced this? I'd feel a fool going to the GP for this as, on the whole, I feel better.