Does anyone know why they suffer with anxiety

[mf]

I grew up in a very anxious environment. My father was a compulsive worrier, some things he had just cause to worry about but he literally worried about everything and would overreact and blow things out of all proportion and would often get into a bad/nasty mood.. The atmosphere i grew up in revolved around what mood he would be in and it was like walking on egg shells, my mother was always afraid of his moods and was always nervous of doing/saying anything that would upset him... I have never had much confidence, always had low self esteem and think that everyone can do things better than me.. I suffer with extreme anxiety attacks and find myself worrying myself silly and always thinking the worst, my coping abilities are pathetic because i just feel myself going into panic mode when something goes wrong... I know that i am like i am because of the influences my parents had on me and i can see where my anxiety/worry and inability to cope has come from... I try desperately hard not to be like i am and not be like my father. The experts call it learned Behaviour and i have had CBT and other therapy but sometimes i think that i am too far gone and beyond help..

[LeeBee]

Hi mf, similarly to you, I think my dad has suffered from life-long depression and anxiety - undiagnosed because he would never admit it, and will never, ever seek help for it. The atmosphere you describe growing up sounds not dissimilar to my own too, with my mum often in a state for fear of upsetting our father. My dad also worries about everything, has huge social anxieties and perfectionism, blows tiny issues out of proportion and has a hair-trigger temper.

Myself and my siblings all have anxiety and/or depression in our own ways, and we are all in the process of finding our own ways to deal with it. One of my brothers is very into Zen meditation, for example. What has helped me is accepting that my dad can't really help the way that he is. Also, understanding that although inevitably I am influenced by my father (genetically and through upbringing), I am not my father, I am my own person. I can't always control the way that I feel or my instinctive reaction to events, but I can control my behaviour to others and my understanding of myself.

Sorry, bit waffly! In summary I think accepting and understanding yourself can help... finding things in life that you enjoy and care about helps too. Don't give up :).

[menomum]

Hi there, with me the anxiety trait has definately come from my mum, she was terrible about illness and allways seemed to be moping about worrying about something and that sticks in my mind right from early childhood. Like you I go into extreme panic mode particularly about any symptoms i may have and always always think the worse so much so that I get on my own nerves with the constant worrying. I wish so much I could be different, daft i know but i'd rather have a broken arm or leg than go through this eternal anxiety.

[Karen]

I've had anxiety since childhood. I was shy as a young child and by the time I reached 10 I was suffering from social anxiety and panic attacks. I had no help at the time because my family denied what was happening (I also suffered from depression) and I don't think social anxiety was really recognised back then.

I think I've continued to suffer anxiety over many things over the years because I had no help when I was younger. I make some progress with one area of anxiety - my social anxiety is much better than when I first joined this site - but I still have general anxiety and other anxieties.

In some people there does seem to be a genetic link but I don't think that's the case for me. I think it is more related to childhood experiences and low self esteem.

Karen xx

[mf]

Hi mf, similarly to you, I think my dad has suffered from life-long depression and anxiety - undiagnosed because he would never admit it, and will never, ever seek help for it. The atmosphere you describe growing up sounds not dissimilar to my own too, with my mum often in a state for fear of upsetting our father. My dad also worries about everything, has huge social anxieties and perfectionism, blows tiny issues out of proportion and has a hair-trigger temper.

Myself and my siblings all have anxiety and/or depression in our own ways, and we are all in the process of finding our own ways to deal with it. One of my brothers is very into Zen meditation, for example. What has helped me is accepting that my dad can't really help the way that he is. Also, understanding that although inevitably I am influenced by my father (genetically and through upbringing), I am not my father, I am my own person. I can't always control the way that I feel or my instinctive reaction to events, but I can control my behaviour to others and my understanding of myself.

Sorry, bit waffly! In summary I think accepting and understanding yourself can help... finding things in life that you enjoy and care about helps too. Don't give up :). Hello Leebee My father does sound very similar to yours , he has always had a depressive and negative nature and can be very volatile and unfotunately he is and always has been in denial and really does not see that he has any faults, its always been everyone elses fault including his family.Sometimes i actually feel sorry for him because he is so blind and cannot see how the way he is makes his family feel about him.. At least if he would admit or recognize that has issues then it would be easier to have some respect for him but as it is we have always tolerated his behaviour for for the sake of trying to keep the peace.. Its too late for him to change now, but you are right that although we obviously to a degree inherit our parents charcteristics, we are not our parents and hopefully we can see what they cant and make a conscious effort not to be the same, its not easy though having grown up with such negativity..

[Veronica H]

Hi all
This is the great Nature/Nurture debate. I grew up in a very dysfunctional environment. I have been badly affected by it, as has one of my siblings. The other three however seem to have the ability to shake it off and cope much better.

Veronica

[theright]

As a child my home life was okay, but school life sucked. I was made fun of quite a bit...more than just name calling...no details, sorry. I don't know if anxiety started there or not...

I do know the majority of anxiety started when I was in the 8th grade and had a near death experience. I slept in my parents bedroom for months after that and had flashbacks for years.

It wasn't long after this I started experiancing strange tingling sensations in my body which caused me to be concerned that I was going paralyzed...even though I wasn't.

Then I had eating problems...everytime I would try to eat I would feel sick to my stomach which made me loose weight.

I've always been easily fatiuged...but since being a teenager there have been multiple symptoms that I wouldn't have dreamed were associated with anxiety but now I realize are.

Until recently experiancing a new symptom (tense throat) I didn't really think I had a problem. But after reading so many things that are silmilar to me, I realize that I need help.

[Southern_Belle]

I did not grow up in an anxious environment. None of my siblings are anxious at all. I have two kind, patient and loving parents. Yet, I know I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. My parents were extremely patient with me and my screaming in fear over things with my 3 sibilings looking at me like I'd lost it! I do know that my Grandmother (Dad's mother) had anxiety and many health issues which I seem to have inherited all of them. I guess you could say since I saw her at times it could be environmental but I was with my parents much more than with my Grandparents who lived in another state. I do remember her asking for her "nerve pills" from time to time when we saw them on vacation.

I do know why I am scared of heights, this one is easy to figure out. I fell from a second flight of stairs that was going up outside a building, actually fell off of them to the ground. Lucky to be here.

Neither of my children have anxiety issues so for that I'm thankful. If any children should have learned nervous behaviour it should have been those two! I don't think it is always environmental. In my case, I think I was born with it.

Laura xxx