richieshealth
27-10-08, 18:14
:blush: I'm trying to over come a fear of contracting or been exposed to HIV. I've been for 3 test and everything has been okay. The last test I had will be 2 years ago this coming December. This prob goes back to 1996 after I donated blood for the first time and was unaware of the screening process. I did not receive the booklet with the stamp in the following weeks - ever since then I have always had nagging doubts. I had my first test at the end of 1997 to irradicate my worry, the result came back oaky but soon after i wasn't quite sure about the window period. As i went to the family doc, i found it difficult to contemplate going back, as i was just to familiar with people that worked there etc..(plus it was the receptionist who gave me my results last time) I was not even aware of GUM clinics back then either, so I put it off. I didn't like it on my med record. I felt a filthy sorded suspicious person - yet it was really just a developing anx prob.
Well I put it off for a few years and tried to ignore the fears. I didn't know about anx disorders, I just tried mind over matter. Well i couldn't keep up the pretence any longer so i went for another test in 2005. At this time I'd souly delt with the prob by myself, i thought i would be okay after but then again i read up that the window period could possible be 6 months not 3 and as i's been in a relationship less than 6 months previous I still wasn't 100% happy. So I went again in Dec 2006 knowing I'd not had contact in the last 6 months thinking this would be the final one. I broke my silence to the girl I was seeing at the time, as I was impossible to avoid sexual contact with her for such a long period, it was very difficult to explain all this to her(and there was a couple a tears) I tried to rekindle the relationship but once I thought we'd got back to normal and the sex started again the doubts crept back in, I woundered if she may have strayed etc.. I slight doubt because I couldn't 100 garantee she hadn't the morbid thoughts started to return really now wasting my life away - I've not been settled and proper happy now for to many years. I decided enough was enough and decided to discuss it with my doctor this was about 11 months ago, I've been to CBT sessions but they have discharged me now although I'm not cured and right. There is no diagnosed prob on my file. "is this OCD or Health anx" what should I do next "help" P.s sorry about the long boring story, but there is no other way of telling it. Any suggestions welcome, Thanks for reading (take care) Rich
Well I put it off for a few years and tried to ignore the fears. I didn't know about anx disorders, I just tried mind over matter. Well i couldn't keep up the pretence any longer so i went for another test in 2005. At this time I'd souly delt with the prob by myself, i thought i would be okay after but then again i read up that the window period could possible be 6 months not 3 and as i's been in a relationship less than 6 months previous I still wasn't 100% happy. So I went again in Dec 2006 knowing I'd not had contact in the last 6 months thinking this would be the final one. I broke my silence to the girl I was seeing at the time, as I was impossible to avoid sexual contact with her for such a long period, it was very difficult to explain all this to her(and there was a couple a tears) I tried to rekindle the relationship but once I thought we'd got back to normal and the sex started again the doubts crept back in, I woundered if she may have strayed etc.. I slight doubt because I couldn't 100 garantee she hadn't the morbid thoughts started to return really now wasting my life away - I've not been settled and proper happy now for to many years. I decided enough was enough and decided to discuss it with my doctor this was about 11 months ago, I've been to CBT sessions but they have discharged me now although I'm not cured and right. There is no diagnosed prob on my file. "is this OCD or Health anx" what should I do next "help" P.s sorry about the long boring story, but there is no other way of telling it. Any suggestions welcome, Thanks for reading (take care) Rich